Chapter 12
I swear my brain does a record scratch.
“Wh-what?”
“You heard me. The next time you want to say sorry for something trivial, think about whether you want my handprint on that gorgeous ass of yours.”
My treacherous pussy apparently really likes the idea because she pulses.
“We’re supposed to keep things professional. Act like nothing happened.”
Addison sighs, her thumb brushing against my skin as she whispers, “I know, I know. I tried. I really did. But the past—what, thirty-six hours—have been torture. All I wanted to do when I saw you in the kitchen on Sunday was pin you against the sink and kiss you senseless. I wanted to take you home and spend the night, feeling you come over and over again. I want to wake you up with my tongue in your pussy. One night wasn’t enough. ”
I’m sure she can feel my skin heat at her admission. I wanted—want—that too. I’m not about to assume anything. Not when it would kill me to be rejected.
“What are you saying?”
“I don’t think we should have limited it to one night. While I’m here, I think we should fuck whenever we want. I know the ranch can get busy with guests, and I think having an outlet will be beneficial.”
“So… just sex?”
“Just sex. We keep it between us, and at the end of the season, I’ll go off on my next adventure, and we’ll both be left with some amazing memories.”
I can’t deny my slight disappointment. All she wants is sex, which makes sense. Anything more would complicate things. Sex is easy, emotionless. I can totally stay detached. My crush on Addison will just… go away at the end of the summer, even if I’ve spent it naked in my bed with her.
Yep. This idea isn’t going to end with my heart getting broken.
“Are you planning on spending every night at my place, or just once a week?” I ask. “What’s the plan?”
Her hand trails down my cheek, to my neck, her touch sparking a flame of lust. I love the way she touches me.
“We don’t need a plan. We can take it one day at a time.” She leans in so her lips caress the shell of my ear. “Is your pussy so greedy that it needs attention every night?”
This time, I can’t stop my lips from parting and a shiver wracking my body at her words. Her lips tip up in a smirk, letting me know she can tell she’s affecting me.
“N-no.”
“Hm. I don’t know if I believe you. Especially with the way she was sucking my fingers in Friday night.”
My heart beats as fast as the rain pelting the barn. I feel a little dizzy at the turn this conversation has taken, but I can’t deny how much I love it. Orgasms are always a great stress reliever, like she implied, and my vibrator collection gets a good workout, but I don’t masturbate every day.
I wouldn’t protest having Addison’s undivided attention or her skilled fingers on me every day, though. Just the thought has my pussy pulsing and clit throbbing with need.
Before I can respond, she seals our lips together. Gently at first, like she’s gauging whether or not I want this. I don’t hold back in reciprocating the kiss with an eagerness I’m slightly embarrassed about. I’m a grown woman; I should be playing it cool.
Then she groans against my mouth, deepening the kiss.
Her tongue teases my lips, and I whimper, eager for more.
We’re at an awkward angle, our bodies twisted from the waist up.
Addison must decide that’s not good enough because she grips my hips and helps direct me to straddle her lap.
My knees bracket her hips, and her hands cup my cheeks to pull me down to her lips again.
Like a total horn dog, I roll my hips to search for friction, but it doesn’t help. There’s nothing for me to grind against. If I could just—
“You need something from me, Juniper? Of course you do, your needy clit is probably looking for something to grind on, isn’t it? Straddle my thigh.”
She spreads her legs, and I move to straddle her right thigh, just as she said. When she grips my hips and helps me roll them, the seam of my jeans catches on my clit, creating a delicious friction that makes me gasp.
“That’s it, sunshine. Use my thigh to make yourself come, just like last time. No one can hear us all the way out here. You can be as loud as you want. Let me hear your pretty sounds.”
I roll my hips again and again as our mouths crash together in a messy tangle.
I’ve never done something so… dirty, but it’s hot as fuck.
Addison pulls away from my mouth and presses kisses down my neck, nipping at the skin.
I want her to mark me. I want a memory of this, so when I wake up tomorrow, I’ll know it’s not a dream.
“Addison,” I moan. “I need more.”
“Need me to play with your nipples?
“Yes.”
“Say please, Juniper.”
“Please. Please play with my nipples.”
“I love how you beg.”
Addison shoves my T-shirt up and pulls the cup of my bra down until my breasts fall free. She doesn’t waste any time wrapping her lips around one and sucking while she plucks at the other.
My eyes roll into the back of my head, and my hips stutter at the sensation of her warm mouth on me. “Your mouth feels amazing.”
It shouldn’t be this good. I shouldn’t already be wondering when we can do this again when this time isn’t even over.
I’m worried I’m going to soak through my jeans and hers. Then everyone will know what we got up to. The thought should bring a wave of anxiety, but it doesn’t. Instead, it makes my body light up.
I want people to know that Addison’s the one bringing me pleasure.
She switches nipples, flicking her tongue against the hard nub and kneading my other breast at the same time.
My orgasm is right there between my hips, ready to explode.
When Addison looks up at me with my tit in her mouth with a blazing look in her eyes, I can’t hold it back.
My hips stutter, and my pussy clenches around nothing as my orgasm washes over me.
She releases my nipple with a pop, watching me intently as I come down. Then, she kisses me as she fixes my bra and T-shirt. My breathing doesn’t slow down until she pulls away from my mouth, and I can finally take a full breath.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get over how stunning you look when you let go for me,” she whispers.
“It might get old by the end of the summer.”
“I don’t think it will.” She clears her throat and shakes her head. “I think the rain has stopped. We should get back before another burst comes.”
“What about you?” I feel selfish for coming when she hasn’t.
“You can make it up to me later. I’ll come over after dinner.”
The sting of rejection is dulled by the promise of tonight, but I still feel like she’s trying to put some distance between us. I get why, but my thoughts are still racing with the worry that I did something wrong.
I don’t want to seem insecure or like I’m trying to get her to be more than a… what do I call her? A fuck buddy? I hate the term, but I guess it describes our situation better than anything else.
Maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to this.
We ride back to the ranch surrounded by a silence that feels heavier than when we were in the truck. The silence gives me time to overthink every interaction, every move I made, and every word I’ve said to Addison since she started working here.
I’ve concluded I’m out of my wheelhouse.
She’s the first and only one-night-stand I’ve ever had, and I don’t know that I’m cut out for a casual relationship.
Our first time was easy and had a clear end, where we knew we wouldn’t see each other again: no last names, no personal information, just a night of pure pleasure.
This is significantly messier.
We’re in each other’s day-to-day life now, and I know things about her.
Personal things that have my heart getting attached already, no matter how many times I try to remind myself I can’t.
She’s leaving at the end of the season. I can barely handle travelling to Missoula, so following her around to the rodeo or whatever she does next isn’t exactly an option.
I worry the whole way home that, after thinking it through, she no longer wants me. She’s quick to untack Athena and put her gear away, then she leaves. I don’t get it. She initiated the moment in the barn, and she proposed the deal. The hot and cold is making my head spin, and not in a good way.
After I’ve untacked Daffodil and given her a thorough brushing, I take the gear to the tack room. I’m about to put the bridle on the hook when the door squeaks open and Addison fills the frame, leaning against the door jamb.
She glances out into the barn before she closes the door and strides toward me. The bridle falls from my hands as she pins me against one of the cabinets and kisses me, pressing her body to mine.
I’m so shocked that it takes my brain a minute to catch up and start kissing her back.
My hands settle on her hips, and I pull her closer, her belt buckle digging into my stomach.
There’s no tongue involved this time, just our lips pressing together over and over until she pulls away, pressing her forehead against mine.
“I could feel you overthinking the whole ride back. If you’re worried about me not wanting you, don’t be. Every time we’re in a room together, you can be sure that I’ll be counting down the seconds until I can get you alone.”
How can she know that’s what I was worried about? Am I that easy to read? Do I exude insecurity? I’ve got to work on that. I can’t spend this whole summer pining after the woman who only wants me for pleasure.
“I thought you’d changed your mind on the way here.” The words come out shaky, and I internally curse myself for it. “Figured you realized this was a mistake.”
Addison’s brown eyes sear into mine, swirling with something that almost looks like hurt. That can’t be right. Why would she be hurt?
“Do you think this is a mistake?” she asks.
I should lie and say yes. End this now before I fall deeper into the mystery that is Addison Riley. I shouldn’t risk my heart by spending more time with the woman who’s already stolen parts of it just by existing.
“No.”
But I already know it’ll hurt when she’s gone.
“Good. Because I don’t think so, either.” Her phone pings. “Shane wants to go over the schedule for this week since we don’t have guests. I need to go meet him, but I’ll come over after dinner.”
“Okay.”
She looks like she wants to say something else but decides against it. Instead, she presses another kiss to my lips before leaving me in the tack room. I take a deep breath and tell myself that this is fine, everything is fine. I believe she wants me now.
I just can’t help but wish it were for more than sex.