Chapter 20
If I didn’t know better, I’d think we were in the Arizona desert instead of the cool mountain air, with how hot my body is.
Addison looks at me with an expression that makes my heart stutter.
There’s a galaxy of unsaid words and silent desires swirling in her deep brown eyes, and it has me wanting to spill my soul to her.
I figured that an hour into watching literal paint dry, she’d take Athena back to the ranch and enjoy her day off doing whatever it is she does. She shocked the hell out of me by watching everything I did with a keen gaze, like she was trying to memorize each brush stroke.
I’ve never had someone watch my creative process, and at first, I was nervous. What if having her there, observing my every move, had me clamming up? What if she started telling me my technique was wrong or gave input when I didn't want it?
My fears were doused when she didn’t say anything at all about my painting, instead asking me questions totally unrelated to painting or the ranch. It almost felt like she had looked up topics to fill the silence.
She’s got my heart ready to burst out of my chest with her thoughtfulness.
I don’t know if Mama knew what she was doing by sending Addison out here, and even though I feel like I need to have a chat with her about meddling in my love life, I’m grateful she did it.
The silence between us is starting to make my tongue itch, so I swallow and clear my throat. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my life. How can I not stare?”
If my cheeks weren’t red before, they sure as hell are now. “I’m sure that’s not entirely true. I mean, unless you haven’t seen a single news article or magazine with a celebrity on it.”
I try to add a little levity to the serious vibe thick in the air.
Addison shakes her head and steps closer to me, looping an arm around my waist and pulling me closer.
She leans forward so our noses brush, and I swear a small smile tips her lovely pink lips.
“I’ve seen lots of people in my lifetime, Juniper.
I’ve been to lots of rodeos, met good-looking people from rodeo queens to bull riders, and none of them compares to you.
In fact, I can’t conjure up a single one of their faces. ”
She tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Three years from now, when I’m long gone, I’ll still be able to recall every detail about you. The slope of your nose, the shade your cheeks turn when you blush, the way your eyes sparkle in the sunlight. All of it is ingrained in my brain.”
She’s not feeding me flowery compliments to get me to bed, and that only makes my feelings for her deepen.
“You can’t say stuff like that,” I whisper, my chest constricting.
“Why?”
“You know why.”
I can’t say it. She knows. She knows saying those things aloud gives fuel to the fire, stoking the connection between us.
She knows the more we admit, the worse we’ll get burned when it’s over.
I can tell there’s more she wants to say.
She kisses me instead, conveying what she wants to say without speaking the words aloud.
It devastates me as much as it makes my heart soar.
As she pulls back, she nips at my lip, tugging it between her teeth. It’s been so long since I’ve felt her hands on me, but I’m not about to be caught out in the open, even if I doubt anyone is coming this way.
“Dance with me,” Addison whispers, shocking the hell out of me.
“What? Here? Now?”
“Yeah, sunshine. Here, now. Let me dance with you when no one else can witness how awful I am at it.”
It’s ridiculous, and so out of character for her, but I don’t sense any hesitation in her voice. She sounds like she won’t budge on this decision.
“We don’t have any music.”
“We don’t need any.” She steps back and holds out her hand to me, palm up in an offering. “Dance with me.”
I place my palm in hers, and she tugs me closer to her body once again, putting her other hand on the meat of my hip and directing my hand to land on her shoulder. Our hats shade us from the sun as we sway, dancing to some tune she’s got going on in her head.
I find comfort in the knowledge she seems just as invested in what’s happening between us. I figured I’d be alone in my heartbreak.
Addison steps back from me, extending her arm and swinging me out, then back into her, wrapping her arms around my waist and planting the most achingly sweet kiss on my cheek. She twirls me back out and spins me around.
I relish the moment and can’t help the giddy giggle that bursts out of me.
Addison’s eyes glimmer as a smile pulls at her lips, and she spins me into her once again.
This time, when my body presses up against hers, our mouths meet.
Her warm lips skim across mine—a barely there brush, but it lights me up inside and makes my heart want to burst.
She pulls back and, like she can’t help it, places a quick kiss on my nose, and sighs. “Thank you for dancing with me, Sunshine.”
“You’re welcome. Thank you for spending the day with me, even if it was borin—”
She cuts me off by placing her fingers over my lips. “Nothing with you is ever boring. It was an honor to watch your process. I didn’t want to be anywhere else, only with you.”
What am I supposed to say to that? I don’t know what to do with all the feelings bubbling up inside me, threatening to break free, so I tip up on my toes and kiss her instead, putting everything I can’t say into it.
I’ve been doing it a lot lately, and I have a feeling I’ll be doing it more frequently.
“Do you want to get back to painting?” she asks when we break apart.
I shake my head. “I’ve done what I needed today. We can head back, take a lazy trail ride.”
“I hope you have a pair of pants to go under your dress. The last thing you need is chafed thighs.” Her voice lowers, and her next words send a shiver down my spine, "Especially since I plan to be between them all night.”
I roll my eyes even as my face heats again. “I do. I just don’t like trying to paint in jeans. The dress gives me more freedom to move around. You forget I literally work on a ranch. I know proper horse riding attire.”
“I know you do, but the panic I felt when I first saw you…” She shakes her head. “I was worried you were neglecting your own safety, and I can’t have that.”
For fuck’s sakes, can this woman not make me swoon for five seconds? “I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself, but I appreciate your worry.”
Addison grumbles something that sounds like “Well, I’ll worry whether you want me to or not.”
She laces our fingers together again and leads me back to the blanket and our things.
She gives the horses an apple while I pack up my supplies, and when I slip my jeans on, she secures everything in place. As I mount Daffodil, I glance back at the field of colorful buds again, knowing that even though I’ll be back, it’ll never feel like it did today.
By the time we get back and untack and groom the horses, it’s close to dinner.
Part of me doesn’t want to join the rest of the crew.
Since it’s my day off, I’m not obligated to, but I don’t know if Addison wants to or not.
I know I want to shower and get the paint off my fingers, but she may have other things to do.
“I’m going to go shower before dinner,” I say once we’ve put away all the gear. “I’ll meet you there?”
Addison steps into my space. “What if… I grab a change of clothes and join you? Then we can head to dinner together.”
“I’d like that a lot.”
“Good. Me too. Leave your front door unlocked and be waiting for me in the shower when I get there.” She presses a kiss to my lips before leading me out of the tack room.
We walk together toward the main house, and when she goes inside, I scurry up the path behind it to my place. My heart races like it’s the first time all over again, just like every time we’re together.
While we have sleepovers every weekend, we’ve never had a middle-of-the-day tryst, and we haven’t showered together since the night after The Mule. Addison usually gets ready for bed at the main house, then sneaks over once everyone is asleep.
Showering together feels so intimate.
Even if I know that’s ridiculous. We’ve had our heads between each other’s thighs, but washing each other is too much?
Get it together, Juniper.
As soon as I’m inside the front door, I kick off my boots and shuffle out of my clothes while I head to my room, tossing them in the laundry basket just inside my bathroom door. I turn the shower on and let the water heat up while I run a brush through my hair.
When the steam starts fogging up the glass, I step in and let the water saturate my hair, running down my skin.
I wash the paint off my fingers first since I might be using them on Addison soon.
Arousal slices through my stomach at the thought. I’m dying to hear the raspy groan that rumbles through her right before she comes. I’m eager to hear her praises when I do something she really enjoys, and I can’t wait to have her mouth on me.
A needy whine gets caught in my throat. She should be here already. How long does it take to grab clothes? My nipples are stiff and aching with arousal, even with the heat of the shower, and my clit is begging for attention. I tilt my head and listen intently for any sounds that signal her arrival.
When I don’t hear anything, I dance my fingertips against my skin, trying to mimic the teasing way Addison touches me. It’s not the same, but it still has an effect on me to imagine her fingers.
I slip my hand down my body until my fingers brush against my clit.
I’m swollen and achy, and when I start moving my fingers in slow circles, my head tips back on a relieved sigh.
Behind my closed eyes, I conjure up the image of Addison kneeling in front of me, spreading my pussy lips and teasing me with her wicked tongue.
She’d go slow at first to work me up until I’m begging for her fingers. Then she would—
“I didn’t tell you to touch yourself.”
My head snaps over, and my mouth goes bone dry at the sight of Addison completely naked with her arms crossed over her breasts. Her face is the picture of disappointment, but underneath there’s a layer of pure lust.
“I-I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not. You couldn’t even wait ten minutes for me?”
“You were taking too long and I… I need you.”
Addison steps into the shower, crowding me against the wall and leaning down until our noses brush. “What do you need from me, sunshine? My mouth or my fingers?”
“Anything you want to give me.”
“Anything? So, if I told you to grind that greedy pussy all over my thigh, you’d do it?”
I nod and whimper, unable to stop the sound. She knows I’d do it. I did it in the barn during the storm, and I’d do it again as long as she’ll let me come.
“God, you make the prettiest sounds. I’ll never get enough of them.
” Her mouth covers mine, the water from the shower making our lips slippery as they glide together.
Two fingers pinch my nipple while her other hand grips my ass, pressing our bodies closer together.
I cry out when she pulls on the stiff bud, and she swallows the sound before trailing kisses down my neck.
When her lips wrap around my other nipple, I can’t take it anymore.
“Addison, please.” It’s too soon to be begging. I should be embarrassed, but this is the effect she has on me. She turns me into a horny, pleading mess.
“So impatient. I’ve been waiting all week to have you. Don’t rush me.”
With a nip to the meat of my breast, she stands up to her full height and steps back under the spray of the shower.
The loss of her body heat has a disappointed frown tipping my lips, which causes a devilish smirk to appear on hers.
“Let me wash you before I make you dirty again.”