Chapter 3
three
MERRILY
I explored Grayson's apartment while I had his shadows with me to make it manageable. I'd already seen it in my dreams almost every night, but things had a blurry quality to them when I was asleep.
Unlike the blinding-white hallways and stairwell I'd been forced to walk through (and been carried through) earlier, Grayson's place leaned into the shadow magic he possessed.
The lighting was dim and warm, the apartment insanely cozy as it relied on stone, wood, and natural paint colors to make it both dark and appealing.
I'd loved it since the first night we spent there.
That love certainly hadn't faded with the passing thousands of visits that followed. Despite never seeing it in person, it felt almost as familiar to me as my own home did.
My stomach growled fiercely as I finished my exploration. I couldn't get into the laptop I found on one of Grayson's nightstands, so the search didn't really give me anything useful. Seeing the little trinkets and mementos my mate kept was interesting, though.
With his shadows suppressing my overwhelm, my usual faint nausea was nearly nonexistent, so my stomach raged like it was the one who'd been locked up instead of me.
I went cautiously to Grayson's kitchen, and when I found leftover food that looked like it had been cooked at home, I heated up a large bowl of pasta without hesitation. If he was going to hold me captive, I was going to make him regret it... by cleaning out his fridge.
The pasta was loaded with chicken and a delicious, creamy sauce. I devoured it. I tried to watch a TV show while I did, but ended up curled beneath a blanket within a few minutes and had to turn it off.
Grayson’s shadows helped me a bit, but they couldn’t erase the cost of my magic.
Still hiding beneath the blanket I'd found draped over the back of the couch, I picked up my phone and managed to work for a while.
Eventually, the overwhelm eased a little more, and I was able to get my laptop out of my pink bag. His shadows thinned a little at one point, but their presence remained enough to give me slightly more breathing room than I usually had.
There were so many things to arrange for the Cabinet and the city that I managed to get lost in work until I heard the lock on the front door open late that night.
I peeked out from beneath the blanket I currently had draped over me like a cloak as Grayson strode inside.
He kicked the door shut behind him, carrying a large plate of food in each of his hands.
Exhaustion visibly weighed his shoulders down, but he didn't mention it as he sat beside me on the couch and set one of the plates on my lap.
I braced myself for overwhelm at the weight of it on my thighs, but his arm met mine as he leaned in close, and the touch of our bare skin was enough to erase my discomfort.
"You left your shirt off. I approve," he said, as he dug into his food.
"How many fights were you in today?" I asked, eyeing him. There were a few new bruises on his skin, but he looked fine for the most part.
"Hard to say."
"How can it be hard to say?"
"Everything blurs together."
When demons disagreed, they fought. MMA style, and with shadows.
The royals never used to fight like that, but there had been a rebellion of some kind eleven years earlier, and two of them had gone to prison.
I wasn't sure exactly what had happened, and had never asked for details. Grayson had never offered them, either.
The royals had been fighting ever since.
Grayson had killed more than a dozen of the vampires who had replaced the king who went to prison, and two of the sirens who replaced their queen, too.
The latest set he'd killed had been nearly eight months ago, and the information I'd received didn't make me think this new vampire was going to last much longer.
"If you keep fighting like this, someone's going to kill you," I warned.
He made a noncommittal sound.
Grayson's fighting skills were legendary, but he hurt and healed the same way any immortal did. The healing wasn't rapid or immediate. Not at all. Feeding from me would speed it up for him, but it didn’t cure everything.
"What's going on with the new vampire king? The things I've heard aren't good." I said.
"If you want to talk about work, you have to be my mate. I don't discuss Shadow District drama with fae queens."
I rolled my eyes, but focused on my food.
Guess he didn't want to chat.
We ate in silence.
"I'm going to take a quick shower and call it a night. If you want a particular side of the bed, now's your chance to claim it," Grayson said. He strode toward the bathroom without a glance over his shoulder at me, not giving me a chance to disagree.
My forehead creased.
I was on my feet and following him toward his bedroom before I could stop myself. "We're not sharing a bed."
"We're mates, Love. We're sharing a bed."
"We're fated. Being mated requires making vows."
"Which we'll be doing very soon."
"Good luck with that. Last I checked, it takes two. I didn't sign a marriage contract like Gwen did, so you have no way to force me to be your everlasting meal."
He stopped a little before the doorway, turning to face me.
"Is that why you're so against a mate bond?
Gwen? I wanted an excuse to let Rae kill Simon, and I wanted to see if you were going to try to stop me.
You did. Callum told me about fated mates because of it, so it worked even better than expected.
I was never going to seal a bond with the wolf. "
"You're still publicly engaged to her. You should probably go through with the ceremony, too.
Gwen is much more likely to play along with any of this than I am, despite her feelings for Jonah.
She'd be a great demon queen." The idea made me want to kill someone.
Multiple someones. But I hoped the comment might get him to let me leave.
Grayson scoffed. "Why would I want to mate with a werewolf who's in love with someone else when I could have the woman I've been obsessed with for a century?"
"As you pointed out earlier, you were only feeding from me because of our mate bond. I'm sure you tried endlessly to get into other people's dreams."
Grayson took two large steps, erasing the distance between us.
He took my face in his hand and tipped my head back until our eyes locked. The moment our skin was touching again, he'd silenced every ounce of overwhelm coursing through me.
"I never said I was only feeding from you because of our bond," he said, his voice low and gravelly.
"You said you thought you were obsessed with me, and realized it was because of the connection."
"I said I deserved to know why I couldn't visit anyone else.
And I did deserve to know. I don't know how you could've come to any other fucking conclusion.
We're soulmates. I deserved to know. You didn't tell me.
Now, you're going to stay here until what we have is official. " With that, he released my face.
Grayson took a step back, spreading his arms out casually. "Accept it or don't, Love. Either way, you're not leaving. We're sharing the bed even if I have to drag you back to it over and over during the night."
He turned and strode into the bathroom, calling over his shoulder, "Feel free to join me in the shower. Door's always open."
I stared at his back as he went, his muscles tight and his body stiff.
Once again, I wondered how many fights he'd been in.
That didn't make me want a mate bond, though.
There were people in my life who needed me home, just as much as he needed to be home. On top of that, I had never actually planned on taking a mate.
I grabbed a pillow off his bed—discreetly sniffing them to make sure I picked the one that smelled the most like him—and carried it back into the living room.
The blanket there would work fine, since some of his shadows were still clinging to me.
I might have a panic attack or two if I slept there, but if I buried myself beneath the blanket, I might make it through.
After I flipped the lights off, I curled up on the couch.
It wasn't as easy on me as the ones at my house, but I'd make do. Or survive, at least. Only because of his shadows, but whatever.
I closed my eyes and absolutely failed at dozing off while the shower continued running.
Part of me wondered if he was jerking off.
I tried not to picture him.
It didn't work.
The shower turned off eventually, and I shifted uncomfortably on the couch.
I was more turned on than I had any business being.
I listened closely for the sound of him getting dressed or getting into bed, but couldn't hear anything. The blanket over my head didn't exactly help.
I decided he must've gone to sleep approximately three seconds before the blanket over me was yanked away.
The unholy screech that escaped me caught me off guard more than him. Grayson just tossed my blanket aside and lifted an eyebrow. His hair was wet, and he was bare fucking naked.
My gaze went right to his erection, a question about whether he'd touched himself lingering on the tip of my tongue. I had absolutely no business asking it, so I stayed quiet, but I wanted to know. I wasn't sure why it mattered to me, but it did.
"Are we sleeping here, or in the bed?" he asked me.
It took me a solid minute to peel my gaze off his cock and look back at his face. "What?"
"Are we sleeping on the couch, or in the bed?" he repeated.
Oh.
Right.
"I didn't think you were serious about that," I said instead.
"Bed it is." He grabbed me by the waist and tossed me over his shoulder again, somehow managing to prevent me from feeling any discomfort from the touch at all.
"Seriously?" I asked him, as he carried me back to the bedroom.
"Seriously."
"I don't share my bed, Darke."
"You do now." He set me down on the edge of the mattress and tugged the wrinkled duvet aside long enough to tuck my legs beneath it.