Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
BLAIR
I didn't stop to think about what I was doing until I found myself on Emmett’s front porch, seconds from knocking on his door. Beyond the barrier, I can hear the steady beat of thumping vibrations and the chatter from the occupants inside. Doubt starts to creep into my mind.
Did I make the right choice by coming here?
No . I quickly expel that thought from my head. He was there when I needed him, and he needs me right now. Raising my fist, I knock on the door as hard as I can, hoping it'll be heard amongst the chaos behind it.
The door swings open and I am face to face with a frantic looking Jaden . I peer behind him and see Eli sitting on the couch making stern motions with his arms as he talks to a pacing Grimm . This must be bad. Jaden steps aside to let me inside.
“ Oh , thank fuck you’re here. We don’t know what happened or what the fuck is going on, but he’s locked in his room. He’s having a mental breakdown.”
“ He didn’t say anything to anyone? Grimm ?” My brows furrow with the question. These are Emmett’s three closest friends. They’re practically his family. They have to know something .
Blank , empty, fucking clueless faces stare back at me. I roll my eyes and huff, pushing past Jaden and making my way to Emmett’s bedroom door.
“ Yeah , good luck with that! You guys call me crazy, it’s psycho fest party-of-one in there.” Grimm scoffs.
Stopping in front of his room, I reach for the doorknob. Like my presence conjured him, the door is ripped open, causing the boys to swing their heads in our direction. Emmett stumbles past me, out of the doorway, and I pause when I see him.
His usually styled hair is wildly sticking out in all directions as if he’s been running his fingers through it. His wrinkly button down is half tucked into his dress pants and hanging open, exposing his torso. His sleeves are bunched and there’s fresh looking stains trailing from his collar to the hem of his shirt.
His knuckles are bruised and bloody, cut up with bandages haphazardly wrapped around them. I finally meet his eyes and the pain and anger I see reflected back at me makes my blood run cold. I’ve never seen Emmett so disheveled and shattered.
“ Aw , little obsession, you came to see me? I'm flattered.” He slurs his words. I don't care if he’s in a state of mania, I refuse to let him be an asshole to me. I go to make a retort but before the w ords leave my mouth his strong grip has a hold on me. He yanks me into the room, slamming the door behind us.
His hands lean against the door and he brings his face just inches from mine. My heart hammers in my chest and I look straight into his eyes, hoping I can hide my fear.
The fear of what he’ll do in this state. The fear of what caused it. I want to help him, I want to be his savior, too. My hands reach out and land on his waist. My fingers take the cotton material of his shirt between them.
He brings his hand to my cheek and gently strokes my face. “ When was your last period?”
I'm momentarily shocked by his question and my cheeks heat with embarrassment. Crinkling my brows, I look up at him, my eyes bouncing between his.
“ What ?” I ask, my hands dropping to my sides.
“ I switched your birth control. I want to know when your last period was and when I’ll be seeing you swollen with my child.” He smiles. Not his usual smirk or the devilish kind that causes trouble. No , this is a boyish smile that seems… innocent. Pure . A deep dimple is carved in his cheek and the sight of it steals the breath from my lungs for a moment.
I shake my head in disbelief, putting thoughts of that dimple on the back burner, and focus on the absolute fucking atomic bomb he just threw at me.
I begin chuckling and it ends up turning into a full-on belly laugh. I know he’s psychotic, but he can't be that psychotic. He’s clearly had way too much to drink and has no idea what he’s saying.
His brows draw low and his once massive grin starts to dim. He looks at me with confusion as if I'm the crazy one .
“ Yeah , alright Emmett . I don't really feel like sharing the details of my reproductive system, sorry.” I say. But I can’t help the little seed of doubt that plants itself in the back of my mind. I need to check when my last period was as soon as I get home.
His expression morphs from confusion to desolation. He pushes off the door and steps away from me, flopping onto his bed.
“ You deserve someone better than me, Blair . You deserve someone who’s not broken. I’m fucked up. I could never be someone you needed.” He speaks into a pillow.
“ Emmett , what are you talkin-” I attempt to cut in, but he snaps his head up and raises his voice.
“ Listen to me. I’m drunk but I’m not incoherent. You don’t want to be with a man like me. I will add nothing but destruction to your life. I don’t know how to love and a life with me means a life of misery. My little obsession deserves the world, I’m sorry I can’t give that to you. I don’t deserve you.” Sighing , he continues to ramble.
“ All my life, I’ve been alone. Do you know what that feels like, Blair ? To not have a single person understand you? To be looked at every day as a burden, a waste of space, a disappointment, a failure? Every single day for the last twenty-two years of my life, I have been relentlessly reminded that I am not worthy of a life in general, let alone one with a happily ever after. Just do yourself a favor and-”
I pressed my lips to his, shutting him up. I can’t listen to his self-hatred. It hurts, and I know it hurts him, too. Emmett wraps his arms around my waist, drawing me closer but I need answers befo re we go any further. Pulling back, I look deep into his eyes and let out a sigh. I wrap my hand around the nape of his neck and bring him closer, our foreheads touching.
“ What happened to I am yours and you are mine? You did not suck me in just to spit me back out. You think I’ve never been alone before Emmett ? That I haven’t felt unworthy? Fucking try me. Know that if I don’t fully understand you, I’m always going to be here. I’m never going to leave you. You aren’t alone anymore.” I say, releasing a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
Emmett’s face is stone cold for a moment. As if he was certain that I would take the opportunity to walk away from him and needed to prepare himself for yet another person to abandon him. For being his obsession, he must not know me that well. The faintest smile appears on his face and it’s followed by a small nod of his head.
After a few moments of silence, I break it by asking him a question. “ Do you want to talk about it?”
“ Yeah . I’m not sure where to start though. It’s all fucked up.” He hesitates.
“ Your mom. Tell me about your mom.” I suggest.
Taking a deep breath, he glances over to his nightstand. I didn’t notice the picture frame the last time I was in here, but he reaches for it, then holds it out to me.
A smiling little boy and a breathtaking young woman are in the picture. They’re sitting at a table that's littered with canvases, paints, and brushes. Splotches of paint decorate their skin. The little boy has fair skin and onyx hair, resembling Emmett .
The woman has matching pale skin but her hair differs drastically in color, blonde waves cascading down her sides. She looks at her son with so much love, but the tiredness behind her eyes is visible.
“ Her name was Sera .” He speaks and I lift my head, to see his broken expression.
“ She was introverted and soft spoken. She never had as many people over as my father did, that’s for sure. While he was immersed in his money and businesses, she was immersed in me and her art. Painting was her favorite way to pass the time. She and my father met here at Blackwood , she was studying art at the time and he was studying business. They graduated, got married, and shortly after, she got pregnant with me.” He stops talking, his mind and heart clearly battling with how much he should tell me. Sighing , he continues.
“ I don’t remember much of my time with her, besides always involving ourselves in things that required our creativity. I do remember that she had a loving and soft voice, and would always encourage me to express myself. Through words, through drawings, anything. It was the one thing that linked me to her.” He turns and points to a piece of art displayed above his bed.
A woman closely resembling his mother, long blonde waves, pale skin, and a petite frame, sits unclothed in the corner of a dark room. She holds onto a thin, white sheet, attempting to cover her body but not succeeding. Bruises cover her legs and torso, areas that are typically hidden from others. Empty eyes stare ahead as tears roll down the hills of her cheeks and puddle on the floor next to her.
“ I was six when I found her. It was summertime and we spent the mo rning at the lake behind our house. That’s where her art shed was, and where the majority of our time together was spent. We had just finished skipping rocks at the lake and she told me to run inside to get cleaned up for dinner. Most days, it was the only time we saw my father. He was working long hours at the university and always came home agitated. By the time he came home, there was no energy left for us. I never saw them show each other any kind of affection.
We were running low on some painting supplies, so she had asked my father to get more. He was constantly degrading our hobby, throwing insults at my mother for not properly using her time with me. To him, I was never his son but a crucial part of his business. The only thing that mattered was creating a little prodigy to step into his place when the time came. That night at dinner, there were no insults. My father stood and strode over to where my mother was seated. He raised his hand and brought it down on her. The sound of the loud smack against her flesh echoed throughout the house. He stormed out of the room, saying nothing, and I didn’t see him again until the next morning.
I watched my mother’s reactions in horror because she didn’t react. She sat there, with the same look displayed in her painting. Once my father was out of sight, she got up from her chair and dusted herself off. She held out her hand for me and I ran to her side, seeking to comfort her. We continued our nightly routine as usual, she didn’t mention my father or what had happened. In the bath, I stared at the red handprint growing into a welt on her face.
She smiled softly and reassured me not to worry, promising that she would get better soon. As she tucked me in for the nigh t, she whispered that she would always be proud of me and loved me with all that she was. She planted a single kiss on my cheek and told me that art was the window to the world of those who chose to understand us. It was ours, and it was special, and there was nothing my father could do to spoil that. Sleep struggled to come that night. Every time I closed my eyes, the slap at dinner replayed in my head and I feared what the next day would bring.
I’m not sure if I ever went to sleep, but once I saw the morning sun peek through my curtains, I was out of bed. I ran out of my room to go check on my mom, but I couldn’t find her anywhere. Having exhausted all of my options, I ran outside to the art shed, but came up empty once again.
I turned back toward the house and there she was, her lifeless body dangling from the balcony of her bedroom. Her eyes were still open, bloodshot, and staring blankly out at the backyard. I screamed for help but there was no one around. James had already gone in to work and there were no groundskeepers around at that hour. I fell to my knees in front of her hanging body and spent the whole day staring in disbelief at the one person who loved me, forever gone.”
Tears stream down my face at his confession, and it takes every ounce of my being not to reach out and pull him close to me. Instead , I inch my hand towards his, until he snatches it, holding on as if it was his lifeline.
“ That was the last one she made. All of the artwork in the house are pieces by my mom. They’re all I have left of her.” He chokes out.
“ Emmett , I’m so sorry. She would’ve been so proud of you.” It’s the only response I can give him. I know how hard it is to lose a parent. He takes a deep breath as I scoot closer to him on the bed. Resting my head on his shoulder, I interlace our fingers. His thumb strokes mine and I squeeze his hand tighter.
Looking up, replacing my head with my chin, I pucker my lips, but they don’t reach his face. On instinct, Emmett leans downward, closing the distance. I let out a soft hum, and he turns his face toward me.
Placing his hand on the back of my head, he brings me closer, peppering my forehead with kisses. He moves his kisses down the bridge of my nose and to my lips. I part my lips, welcoming his pillowy kisses.
His tongue finds its way to mine and they dance. He guides our connected hands to the bulge growing in his pants. With his grip on top of mine, he squeezes our hands around his erection. With shaky fingers, I let go of his hands and rub mine up his legs, finding his belt.
Pulling back from our kiss, I slide off the bed and onto my knees, in front of him. I undo his belt and pull it through the loops, then unzip his pants before pulling down his jeans and boxers.
His hardening length springs free and bobs in front of my face. I watch him as his cock grows hard under my gaze. The heat between my thighs ignites and I lick my lips, anxious to taste him.
Leaning forward, I stick out my tongue and lick up the bead of precum that’s already formed on the tip.
“ Fuck , baby. Don’t tease me. Put it in your mouth, pretty girl.” He growls.
Wanting to release the tension of his demons, I flatten my tongue and t ake him into my mouth, closing my lips tightly around his thick length. He pushes himself a little deeper, and I run my tongue along the bulging vein on the bottom.
His hands make their way into my hair, gripping the strands roughly. “ That feels so fucking good. But I know you can take me deeper. Come on, little obsession. Open that throat for me.” He grunts.
Using the grip he has on my head, he pulls himself out till just the crown of his cock hides behind my lips, then angles me to better take him. With the way he’s positioned me, he’s able to smoothly slide himself down my throat.
Tapping my cheek with his finger to get my attention, he purrs, “ Look up at me, my pretty little slut. Watch as I claim your throat, making a mess of your drool and tears.”
And then he thrusts deep, making my nose hit the bottom of his abdomen. My gag reflex kicks in and my breathing is cut off as he holds himself inside. Pulling back, he gives me a moment to sputter and suck in air before he does it again.
And again.
He picks up his pace, claiming my throat just as he said he would. His hips snap forward, and his balls hit my chin as he brutally pumps into my mouth. Tears stream down my cheeks from the pressure of him filling my airway, and drool spills out, dripping onto the floor.
“ I love the sound of you choking on my cock, baby. The sound of you fighting for air while you greedily suck me. You’re so fucking perfect.” He grunts. “ I’m going to cum down your pretty throat, don’t waste a drop, you filthy girl.”
He pushes himself deep, pulling me by my hair until my nose is squished against his abdomen once again. I feel his cock thicken and pulse inside my mouth until warm, salty liquid runs down my throat.
He jerks his hips slightly, still pumping himself down my throat until his grip loosens and he begins to pull out. I try to swallow it all down but a few drops of the salty liquid seep out, dripping from my lips and onto the floor. I hear a tsking sound as his fingers pinch my chin, tilting my head to look up.
From the floor I peer up at him, searching for a sign that he's coming back to me, that he feels better. His once pain filled eyes are laced with satisfaction and awe. He reaches down and strokes his knuckles softly against my tear stained cheeks.
“ Such a good girl, my little obsession. Always so eager to please me.”
He pulls his softening length from my mouth, causing more of his cum to fall onto the floor. Emmett watches as it happens with rapt attention. He sighs while pushing a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.
“ I told you not to waste a single drop, didn't I ?” He coos. I swallow what’s left in my mouth with one big gulp and give him a slight nod, unsure of where this is going.
“ Then lick it up, baby. We don’t want any to go to waste now, do we?” He continues stroking the back of my head affectionately. I shake my head with a slight whimper. On his last stroke, he stops at the base of my nape and squeezes. With his grip on my nape, he pushes my head downward, until I’m hovering above the small puddle of cum on the floor.
“ Good . That's good, little obsession. Lick it up for me.” His raspy words go straight to my core and make me want to please him. Bringing my face closer to the floor, I stick out my tongue and d rag it along the wooden plank that’s soaked in cum. Emmett lets out a pleased hum so I keep doing it. The debauchery of the act makes more need form between my thighs.
On the last lick, before I can swallow, he gently grabs my head and tugs me up so I'm looking at him.
“ Show me.” He says huskily. With his cum still coating my tongue, I stick it out, allowing him a look. “ My baby, you’re so eager to please me. Go ahead and swallow it down. Such a good girl for me, come here.”
I take his outstretched hand and stand up. He immediately smashes his lips to mine, his tongue pushing inside for access.
“ Mmm ,” he hums against my lips. “ You taste so good coated in my cum.”
He sucks my tongue into his own mouth and nips my lip before pulling away, leaving me dizzy.
With my hand still in his he walks me over to the bed, before stripping me of my clothes and discarding the rest of his. Getting into bed he pats the spot next to him, coaxing me to come.
I crawl in and lay against his body, allowing his warm skin to heat me. He spoons me from behind and I feel him start to harden against my ass.
I push back slightly, craving more of him. Instantly , his hand is grabbing my hip and spreading my legs. I feel the head of his cock probing my entrance before he slowly slides in, already hard again. Instead of thrusting, he pulls me closer to his chest and wraps his arms around me. Nuzzling his face into my neck he whispers, “ You’ll go to sleep just like this for me, baby. Keep me nice and warm.” his voice drowsy. He plants a kiss on my shoulder and lays his head down.
I want to squirm, to feel some friction from the ache building in my core, but his tight hold on me prevents it. A few minutes pass, and his breathing has evened out, despite him still being hard inside of me. I close my eyes, the feeling of being full and connected coaxing me into a luring sleep.