Chapter 42
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
BLAIR
Heading back to campus, I feel different than the last time I was here. My soul was shattered and the pieces will never fit back quite the same. They've forced themselves back together and the edges are jagged now.
Being away from here was good for me. I was able to start healing and processing the torture I went through. My mind, body, and soul will forever be altered by the events, but I'll be damned if I let them hold onto me. I refuse to remain feeling broken. At least, that was my mindset. Emmett dropped me off at my house and I've been standing at the doorstep for ten minutes now.
He tried to stay but I told him that I needed to do this on my own. I make my way inside, half expecting all of the tortures of my past to overtake me and flood my memory. Yet , when I walk through the threshold and spot the new photo of Aspen , Verena and I on the entryway table, it scares the monster back underneath the bed .
With a refreshing wave of comfortability, I beeline to my room to drop off my bags, determined to find the girls and spend some time with them. I miss them, and I’m more open to spending time together now than I was the last time I had seen them. As I open the door, my heart lodges in my throat at the sight before me. Balloons litter my room and a big banner that says, “ Welcome Home ,” is hanging over my bed. I hear footsteps behind me and before I can turn around two separate pairs of arms wrap around me.
“ Welcome home!” Aspen greets me. “ We missed you so much.” Tears prick at my eyes as they hug me.
“ I missed you guys,” I sniffle.
The usually serious Verena playfully swats at my arms as she swipes under her eyes. “ Stop , you're going to make me cry. I never cry.”
We all laugh and the feeling of support and friendship washes over me.
Feeling a little better, I decide to spend the day with Aspen and Verena . Emmett had explained to me what happened with Lorelei and her psychotic fucking delusions, how she was behind the man in my room. I always knew something was off about her. I knew she was out to get me.
I need to trust my intuition more often.
With her no longer residing in our unit, or anywhere for that matter , we have a new girl coming into the house soon. They said her name was Heather ? Hailey ? I’m not sure, but I’m still debating on whether or not I’ll be staying at Blackwood after this year, so I don’t know if I’ll get the chance to meet her.
The rest of the day is spent catching up with Verena and Aspen . We stay in, and I’m grateful for it. It gave us a chance to talk about what a mess the past few months have been. They didn’t probe or ask questions on what happened to me, and it felt nice to get to hangout with them again. We laughed, cried, and then laughed some more, the hours were later filled with snacks and movies.
By the end of the third movie we’ve watched, I’m struggling to keep my eyes open. Aspen yawns next to me as she stretches, “ I think I’m going to call it a night, girls. I had so much fun today.” She smiles softly.
“ Me too,” I respond, the same smile filing my own face. I look over to Verena who has passed out and we both chuckle.
I missed this.
We say goodnight and head towards our rooms. I tried waking Verena , but she just swatted at me and rolled over, mumbling something in the process. I ended up throwing a blanket over her in favor of not getting hit again.
Walking back to my room, I let out a sigh filled with contentment. I feel good. Spending the day with the girls really helped me feel a sense of normalcy again and that's all I want. For things to go back to normal, even if I know it’ll never be the same.
Shutting the door behind me, I flop back onto my bed. My phone vibrates in my hand and I look down at the text from Emmett . This is his fifth text in the past minute. I've already told him though, I need to do this. I need to sleep here in my bed and I need to do it alone. I haven't slept alone since the day he ended up trapped in that hell with me. I've been able to find comfort in his body next to mine every night.
I want to be able to do this .
I need to be able to do this.
Dropping my phone, I pull myself from the comfort of my bed and go to my closet to change out of my clothes. Once I'm in more comfortable attire, I make my way back towards my bed. Placing my phone on the nightstand, I pull back the sheets and crawl underneath, letting my body relax and get comfortable.
I close my eyes and quickly succumb to the promise of sleep. I may not have done a lot today, but it was emotionally and mentally exhausting nonetheless.
My door swings open, waking me from my sleep as familiar faces fill its frame. The two men who had dragged me around from room to room, who beat me, who laughed at my pain, are staring back at me. My lungs seize and burn as I try to take in a breath of air. I can’t fucking breathe. How are they here?
The shorter one of the two, the one whose dick I attempted to bite off, walks closer to me. His smile is evil and too large for his face. It continues to grow as the corners of his smile seem to split the skin of his cheeks, allowing it to continue growing.
It grows,
And grows,
And grows,
Until its devilish curve has taken over the lower half of his face. I try to back up further in bed, to get away from him as he stalks towards me. I inch closer to the edge of the bed, attempting to run away, when my movements become restricted. Chains connect to my wrists and ankles, keeping me tied to the bed .
I look back up at him as blood starts to pour out of the large gash of a smile in his face. I open my mouth, to scream for help, as liquid bubbles up in my airway.
I choke and sputter on the liquid as it fills my throat and mouth. It pours out and onto the bed, the color, crimson and the taste, metallic. I attempt to breathe, but I can’t as I drown from the inside on my own blood.
I start to clutch at my throat, trying to find a way to breathe. Looking up from the pool of blood surrounding me, my scream finally leaves my throat as the nose of my nightmare bumps his own with mine.
My eyes shoot open as I wheeze and gasp for air. My lungs burn and my throat feels scratchy. Tears line my cheeks and the mattress is wet underneath me from my sweat. I continue to suck in air while placing a hand to my erratic heart, trying to calm it down before I give myself a heart attack.
It wasn’t real.
I’m safe.
Despite knowing both of those things, I can't ward off the panic. The panic of being trapped once again. The only difference between being there and being out is that I may no longer be physically trapped, but mentally my mind has created its own prison.
With shaky hands, I quickly unlock my phone and find Emmett’s name. It rings once before I hear his raspy voice filling my ear. “ What’s the matter, little obsession?”
“ Nightmare ,” I croak out, still feeling like I can’t take in enough air. I only have to say one word and I already hear him shuffling around, getting ready to come to me.
“ Okay baby, I’m heading over. ”
I nod even though I know he can’t see me. He stays on the line with me as I wait for him to arrive, the whole time urging me to breathe and walking me through it, much like he has before.
I hear him both through the phone and in real life, as he enters my house with ease. How ? I don't know. I never gave him a key. With the phone still pressed to my ear, I watch as my door opens and he walks towards me. He immediately wraps his arms around me and pulls me close, the scent of tobacco and mint swallowing me in comfort.
“ Thank you,” I choke out, my heart starting to slow knowing that the danger is no longer a threat to me.
“ Always . I will always be there when you need me. I am your shadow, Blair . You can’t escape me.” All I can do is nod against his chest as he comforts me. When I’ve calmed down, I pull out of his hold. Releasing me, he stands and grabs the item he must have dropped on his way in. Picking up the black material, he hands it to me.
“ Put it on. We’re walking back to my place. You aren’t staying here.” He phrases it as a statement, one that leaves no room for argument. I wouldn’t have argued anyway with the way I’m feeling. Grabbing the item from his hand, I pull it over my head. The hoodie engulfs my frame, bringing me peace. Pulling the neckline to my nose, I inhale as the scent of his clothing brings more contentment to my being.
Emmett holds out his hand for me to take, and I do. Before I know it, he's walking me out of my house of horrors and to his own. The walk is quick and we don't talk, the silent comfort of his thumb rubbing the back of my hand is all that is needed .
I spend the time wondering how to take back the power. How to face my fears.
Before I know it, we’re walking up his driveway. Getting to his house, he leads me inside and to his room. Flicking the light to his bedroom on, he pulls me inside and closes the door, locking everyone and everything out along with it, my worries included.
Still in his hoodie and just the pair of pink cotton shorts I had on, I crawl into his large bed and burrow myself under the covers. Being here, surrounded by his smell, surrounded by him, I already feel better. I feel protected and safe.
Emmett undresses down to his boxers and slides into bed with me. Grabbing me, he pulls me closer into his body. He brushes his knuckles against my cheek while I nibble on my bottom lip, contemplating if I’m ready for this or not. “ What’s on your mind, little obsession?” He whispers, using his finger to tip my chin up towards him.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I blurt the words out. “ I want you to tie me up and use me. Treat me like you did before. I want you to replace those memories for me,” my voice fades off on the last word as my eyes bounce between his.
“ Are you sure?” He questions, concern lacing his voice.
“ Yes . Yes , I’m sure. I want this, I need this.” With one last lingering look into my eyes, he gives me a small nod.
He gets up and grabs something from his nightstand before going to stand on the opposite side of the room. My eyes shift from him to the thick ropes he has in his hands. Dropping them to the floor by his feet, he stands back to his full height and crosses his arms .
Emmett’s eyes darken as he looks at me. “ Go ahead and strip out of those little shorts and panties for me. Let me see what's mine.” He commands. With shaking hands, I grip the waistband of my shorts and push them down, letting them pool around my feet on the floor. He lets out a pleased hum while tilting his head, “ Take off my hoodie, sweet girl.” I grip the fabric and pull it up and over my head, taking my undershirt with it, letting it fall to the floor with the rest of my clothes.
“ Very good Blair , you follow my directions so well. You’re so eager to please me, aren’t you? Come here.” I start to make my way towards him when he lifts his hand, halting my movements. “ On your hands and knees. Crawl to me.” There's not an ounce of joking in his statement, he means every word. Slowly , I drop to my knees, the contact with the floor causing a light thud.
I press my palms to the wood floor and start to crawl towards him. The act makes my cheeks redden. I feel silly, but when I look up and see the hunger in his gaze as his boxers start to tent, the feeling disappears.
When I reach his feet, I lift my eyes to meet his. “ Such a good fucking girl, crawling to me. You look fucking perfect on your knees.” My thighs clench together, trying to gain some friction to help with the feeling his dirty words elicit.
His hand shoots out and he wraps it around my hair at the nape of my neck, forcing me to arch my neck and look up to him. With his other hand, he grabs his boxers and tugs them down, letting his cock spring free. The tip has a bead of precum, the sight causing my tongue to dart out and lick my lips.
“ Open up, let me see your pretty tongue,” he coos. I know it wasn't a suggestion by the way his hand in my hair pulls my head closer to him. I open my mouth and present my tongue to him. He leans over me and I watch as his lips purse and spit drops down from his lips and onto my tongue. “ Swallow .” Closing my mouth, I swallow down his spit.
He leans down and grabs the pile of rope he had tossed.
“ Be a good girl and put your hands behind your back for me,” he purrs. I lift my hands off the floor and bring them behind me. Nervousness and excitement shoot down my spine at what's to come next.
He walks behind me and I feel him bind the ropes around my wrists. He tightens the material, forcing my palms to press together. I feel a kiss pressed to my shoulder as the rope gets wrapped around my forearms next, just below my elbows. I can’t see what he’s doing but I can feel as the ropes tighten in various places, pulling my arms closer together.
He starts to come back to my front and I watch as he takes the material and pulls it over my shoulder, down my chest and then under my breast, wrapping around my side and connecting to the ropes around my arms. He repeats this process with my other breast. I'm confused about what's happening until he yanks on the rope.
The material tightens everywhere, and the rope wrapped over my shoulders and under my breast forces me to arch my spine and pull my shoulders backward. In this position, my breasts are pushed forward. He ties the rope off and I wiggle, trying to see how much slack I have. The answer is none. Absolutely none.
Walking back in front of me, he pinches my chin between his fingers and brings my gaze up to his .
“ You . Are . Mine . Your body is mine. Your heart is mine. Your soul is mine. Every part that makes you, you? They’re all fucking mine .” He growls. With one hand still in my hair, he takes his other hand and wraps it around his cock, giving it a harsh pump before using his hold on it to tap my cheek with the crown.
“ Open up and show me you’re mine.” I follow his command instantly, wanting to please him. He’s right, I’ve always been his. Licking my lips, I try to lean forward to take him into my mouth. With my arms bound behind my back, it's hard to keep myself upright on my knees, making me whimper.
Emmett smirks down at me in a way that feels smug. Rubbing his knuckle down my cheek he speaks, “ What’s the matter baby? Do you need something? Do you need some help getting my cock down your throat?” Pressing his thumb to my bottom lip, he pulls it down, opening my mouth. “ Yeah . You just sit there and look like my pretty little slut. Take everything I have to give you.”
He grips his cock and places the tip at my parted lips. My tongue darts out to lick the precum that's gathered on them. I open my mouth, allowing him to push his tip inside.
“ Wider baby,” he rasps. Opening my mouth as wide as it can go, I look up at him. He places his hands on either side of my head and then uses his grip to hold me still while he slides inside.
“ Fuck . Just like that. Such a good little slut, letting me claim your mouth and throat, letting me use you.” He brings his hips back and slams all the way forward, the tip of his cock hitting the back of my throat, making me gag. “ That’s it baby. You g ag so beautifully around my cock. Relax your throat for me, open up.”
I try to do as he says as he shoves his hips forward once more. Relaxing my throat, I breathe through my nose as his tip pushes past, allowing him to slide down my throat.
“ Fuck , there you go. Such a good fucking girl, taking my cock down your throat, let me feed you this dick.” His fingers tighten along my skull as he keeps himself lodged there.
I can't breathe and I gag around his length while he holds me close to him, my nose against his pelvis. “ Your throat tightens around me every time you gag. It feels so fucking good,” he groans. I shift my thighs together, trying to find relief from the feeling building between them. Emmett must notice because he smiles down at me, “ Do you enjoy choking on my cock, baby?” He pulls back letting me get a much needed breath of air, before pushing forward again. “ Yeah . I think you do.”
Tears stream down my face with the lack of oxygen and my thighs clench together as my pussy throbs. Being at his complete mercy like this, for him to use as he pleases, I shouldn’t love it this much but I do. I shift my hips, trying to get some friction where I feel my desire dripping down my thighs.
Chuckling he says, “ Yeah . I see you trying to rub your thighs together. Are you aching, baby? Do you need me to soothe that ache for you?” He picks up his pace as I continue to choke and moan around him. Spit slips from my lips and drips down onto my breasts.
Just when I think he’s going to cum, he abruptly pulls out. An involuntary whimper leaves me .
“ What’s wrong? Did you want me to fill you up? You wanted me to give you my cum, sweet girl?” My cheeks redden and I nod, shifting my hips once more.
He leans down and cups my face, rubbing his thumb over the tear tracks on my cheeks. “ I’ll fill you with my cum. It won’t be down your throat, though. It’ll be deep inside that dripping cunt of yours.”
Gripping my shoulders, he helps me to my feet. My arms are still tied behind my back, making it harder for me to get up. Once I’m standing, Emmett grips my throat, making me stumble as he brings my face closer to his. “ Such a perfect little slut. You’ll let me do whatever I want to you, won't you?”
I don’t know if it's the trust coursing through me or the throbbing desire for release, but I eagerly shake my head yes. Because I would. A devilish smirk starts to take place on his face while the deep green of his eyes seem to almost turn black. “ I know you will, baby. Such a good girl you are. Just for me.”
With his hold on my neck, he backs us up until my legs bump into the bed. His smile becomes bigger at the sight of me stuck between the bed and his body, the predator in him has easily trapped its prey. I release a sudden gasp at the fact, nerves and excitement dance around inside of me.
His eyes grow serious before he speaks, “ I’m going to give you what you want, Blair . I’m going to tie you up and use you until you're a fucking mess. Until you pass out from the amount of pleasure I give you.” He states, “ But I’m giving you a safe word, okay? If it gets to be too much or you want to stop, say nightmare. ”
My heart thumps wildly in my chest and despite the nerves growing in me, I give him a small nod.
He lets go of my neck and leans down, wrapping his arms around my legs. He lifts me and tosses me back onto the bed. Landing on my back with my arms still bound underneath, I wince at the pressure. Gaining my footing, I use my legs to try and lift my lower half, giving my arms some relief from the pressure.
“ You’re going to be completely at my mercy, little obsession. You’re going to be bound up and exposed for my pleasure and use.” He tilts his head while stepping forward. Taking his hand, he runs his fingers up my calf and to my thigh. “ Whose are you, Blair ?” Feeling his fingers against my skin makes goosebumps arise, the touch feels good, but it's not where I’m craving it.
“ Yours ,” it comes out breathy. Emmett hums while tracing his fingers back down my leg.
“ That’s right, you’re mine. My good girl. My pretty slut. My . Fucking . Obsession .” On the last word his fingers leave me and grab the extra rope I didn’t realize he had. Placing a hand on each thigh, he starts to spread my legs.
Wide .
When my legs are fully open, he crawls up onto the bed and positions himself between them, ensuring there's enough room to accommodate his broad frame. Picking up the rope, I watch as he wraps it around my shin and thigh, pulling tightly until my calf is pressed firmly against the underside of my thighs. He continues to wrap the rope around my leg until the heel of my foot is close to where my ass lays on the bed.
I think he's going to stop there, but instead he pulls the last bit of rope and ties it to the rope that's against my torso, keeping my leg not only restrained, but wide open with no way to close it. He takes another piece of rope and goes to repeat the same action on the other side, but first he takes the course material and drags it between my slit, causing a sudden gasp in response.
“ Look at you, sweet girl. Fucking dripping on my ropes. You like it when I tie you up?” With the now wet rope, he ties my other leg together before connecting it to the rope along my torso.
In this position, it makes it harder for me to lift my lower half off the bed. I try to lift onto my tiptoes. The feeling of the constricting ropes paired with his hungry gaze on the spot between my thighs, causes me to shift my hips. A soft chuckle leaves Emmett , making my eyes snap to his.
“ Are you aching for me? Do you want me to play with you, little obsession?” His tone is mischievous, like he's enjoying toying with his food before he eats it. But when Emmett leans down and places his mouth on my pussy he doesn’t just eat it, he fucking devours me. He licks and sucks at the dripping mess he made of me before he turns his head and gives my spread thighs a hard bite.
A shocked yelp falls from my lips that quickly morphs into a moan as he soothes the hurt with a kiss. “ You taste so fucking sweet. Like my favorite candy.” He looks up at me and licks his lips before putting his face back between my thighs. “ And I have a fucking sweet-tooth.”
His tongue dives back into me and I can't control the sounds that it causes. Using the tip of his tongue, he gives short and quick licks to my clit, making me squirm. I can’t move away fr om the onslaught of pleasure he's giving me. The feeling of my orgasm brewing inside of me grows fast, and before I know it, I’m screaming his name like a prayer.
I squeeze my eyes shut and throw my head back as I continue to chant. “ Emmett , oh my god!” My whole body shakes as he continues the same pace on my clit. I’m dazed from the feelings taking over me, so much so I wasn’t aware that he had stopped until I feel a hard thick piece of material placed into my mouth.
My eyes spring open and I look at Emmett . He's placed some kind of tube shaped object, wrapped in rope, inside of my teeth. “ Bite down on that, pretty girl. I love your screams but I don’t want to have to kill my friends because they heard your delectable cries.” He smirks, taking the ends of the gag he placed behind my teeth and tying them around, behind my head.
“ I know you can’t say the safe word anymore, so if you need to, tap your feet and it’ll all stop. Okay ?” I'm shaking my head furiously, just wanting him to continue to please me.
Before I can say or do anything, he’s lifting the lower half of my bound body by my ass and pushing his hips forward, impaling me on his cock. I scream around the gag as my teeth dig into the rope. “ Fuck . You look so fucking good like this. Completely tied up and spread wide open for me.” The rasp of his voice mixed with the heat of his eyes sends shock waves of pleasure through my body.
My eyes roll back as he slams deep, hitting a sweet spot inside of me. The pleasure inside keeps building as he pounds into me. I cry out around the gag and my eyes shoot open as he stops moving, stealing away the pleasure that was forming. Emmett removes one of his hands from under me and collars my throat.
He slams forward while speaking his next words. “ Eyes on me while I fuck you,” he thrusts deep. “ Eyes on me while I use this pretty tight pussy,” another deep thrust. “ Eyes on me while I fucking claim you.” On his last thrust, the orgasm that racks my body is intense and consuming. My bound limbs shake as my pussy convulses around him.
The gag in my mouth muffles the needy moans that leave my throat as the orgasm takes over my body. “ Fuck , Your pussy is squeezing me so tight, milking my cock. Such a filthy girl.” His pace picks up and his hand grips my throat tighter. Spots start to dance around my vision as his brutal pace rocks my bound flesh. My arms have gone completely numb underneath me.
I think I’m going to pass out just as he releases my throat, allowing me to suck in air. Without warning, another orgasm takes over my body as he buries himself deep and releases inside me. “ That’s it baby. You did so good for me. Cum on my cock while I fill you up.” He grunts as he empties himself inside of me, my pussy squeezing every drop out of him as it spasms around his length.
Tears stream down my face as I sniffle around the gag in my mouth. My jaw is sore with how hard I've been biting down on the material. My eyes start to flutter close as Emmett pulls out of me and quickly starts to untie the ropes from my limbs. My body feels sore and used, but in a good way. A soft smile curves on my lips as he places a gentle kiss to my forehead while lifting my spent body from the bed.
He carries me over to the bathroom where he starts the shower, lead s us inside, and washes me, massaging the skin where the ropes have left indentations and placing kisses over every inch of me. Sleep threatens to pull me under by how good his affection feels. The water is turned off and a towel is wrapped around me as he grabs my hand and takes me back to his room.
I watch as he pulls out clothes for me to wear, even though I have my own. He hands me a t-shirt and a pair of my panties that I don’t remember ever leaving here. In fact, I haven’t seen this pair since the beginning of the school year. I would know, they are one of my favorites. I hold up the panties in question and raise a brow at him.
Instead of answering, he takes them from my hold and starts to slip them up my legs. I guess how he got these will remain a mystery, but I’m almost positive he swiped them during one of his surprise visits. I chuckle as I grab them and pull them the rest of the way up. Emmett brings me into bed as he climbs in himself. Laying against him, I close my eyes while I think about what we just did, and how I’m feeling.
Giving up control again was scary. If it wasn’t for the complete trust that I have in Emmett , I don’t think I would have been able to do that. He can make me feel safe and cherished while also treating me like his good little slut.
I feel more like myself. More like the girl I was before I was taken. I’m determined to not let that define me, not let that be the girl I am for the rest of my life. Because I am so much more than that. I am more than the girl who was taken. I am more than a victim. I’m more than a survivor, and I owe it to myself to remember this.
I may owe some of it to Emmett for helping me. Helping me heal and pulling me back from the depths of my mind that I would unknowingly retreat to. But I also owe a lot of it to myself, for not giving up and for remembering that I am more than those people and moments that tried to break me.
But to the man currently lying under me, who gave me the shattered pieces of himself to mend my own, whose soul may never be whole as long as I hold those pieces, I can’t help but feel the surge of love that rushes through me. Getting ready to tell Emmett about the appreciation I have for him, I open my eyes and stop before the words leave my mouth.
My eyes land on the photo perched on his nightstand. It's the same picture he showed me months ago, of him and his mother. The sight of her sparks a forgotten memory to resurface in my mind, replacing the ones that just consumed me. Nibbling on my bottom lip, I debate whether or not to bring this up. I don’t want to upset him, and it was probably just the drugs, but the resemblance was uncanny.
My bottom lip gets pressed by a thumb, bringing it away from the assault of my teeth. “ What’s on your mind, baby?” I could lie to him and make something up, but he knows me too well. He’ll be able to tell I’m lying before I even say a word.
“ Remember the gala I had mentioned?” I feel his body tighten its hold on me at the mere mention of that night. “ Yeah , I remember. What about it?” Letting out a puff of air, I tell him the details about that night that I had previously left out.
“ Before we went in, I was drugged, so what I saw might not even be accurate. But when I was there, I saw a woman that looked so much like an older version of your mom.” His entire body goes rigid as the words leave my mouth .
“ I’m sorry to bring it up, but I truly couldn’t shake the feeling that she was Sera . I had slipped away from Lorenzo and tried to follow her down a hallway, but she was too quick and disappeared before I could reach her. I wasn’t able to find her after that, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that it was her. It was so odd…” I fade off at the end, not really sure what else to say about the situation.
Worry and guilt start to eat away at me. Was it pointless to tell him? Was that cruel of me? I didn’t mean to do anything to cause him any mental or emotional harm, but even just looking at the photo of her sitting on his nightstand, I can’t help but listen to the feeling in my gut telling me I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t seeing things. Something isn’t right.
But the idea of her still alive and breathing, after Emmett saw her dangling from the balcony with his own eyes, is crazy, isn't it?