Chapter 2
two
LIV
When I made it back to my car, I was insanely sweaty, drenched with rain, and biting my cheek to fight against the awful pain in my feet.
Gwen was leaning up against the driver's side door of my red Ferrari.
My murderous imagination was too worn out after the run to consider any of the many ways I could kill her at the moment.
God, she was gorgeous.
She lifted her hands cautiously when I stepped around the car. She was going to have to move, because my feet fucking hurt. "I'm not trying to start anything. I know which of us would win in a fight, and it's not me."
"What do you want, Gwen?" I tried to sound less annoyed that she was there than I really was.
"I hoped we could talk. As Jonah's... friends."
"Is that what you are to him?"
If Gwen and I were ranked the same in his book, I needed a refund on my fated mate.
Unfortunately, I knew the truth was even worse. He totally ranked her above me.
"I hope so." She managed a small smile and stepped away from my door, giving me a route to the driver's seat. My feet throbbed with every step I took toward it. "How was the run?"
"Don't beat around the bush. Jonah and I are just friends. We haven’t fucked since before the challenges ended, and I have no interest in fighting over a man." I opened my door and sat down. Getting off my feet barely helped the pain.
There was no reason to fight over Jonah. If there was, I'd just kill her. It wouldn't be difficult.
I sat down, closed my door, and turned on my car. When she didn't leave, I bit back a grimace and rolled my window down.
"If he wanted me, would you walk away?" Gwen called out, raising her voice to speak over the music.
"We’re just friends, but if he wanted you, I sure as fuck wouldn’t touch him," I yelled back.
That was exactly why I hadn’t touched him in ages. Alongside his disinterest in me.
She nodded hesitantly. I guess she didn't really have anyone else to talk to about this stuff.
"Out with it." I waved a hand, telling her to hurry up, while reluctantly turning my music down.
"What would you do if you were me?" she asked.
"Do you want me to be real with you here?"
"I didn't think you had any other setting besides real." She bit her lip, eyeing me like she expected me to kill her for saying it.
It was fair, though.
I didn't beat around the bush. I was decent at avoiding the bush, in this case, but that was completely different.
"From an entirely neutral perspective, you and Jonah were in love. Simon was as charming as he was cruel, and he tricked you into ending a relationship that you thought was going to last forever," I said matter-of-factly.
Gwen nodded.
"You've spent the last five months working to become friends with your ex-fiancé again, and it worked, but you still only have six months left to pick someone to spend all of immortality with, or you're going to get stuck with Grayson Darke. That's fucking terrifying."
Her eyes glistened with tears. "I know."
Was she really going to cry?
Fuck me.
Just fuck me.
"I also think there's a pretty good chance that if you asked Jonah to give things a try again, it would probably work. He doesn't know what he wants. Being with him would force him to make a decision."
"You really think so?"
Unfortunately, yes.
"Yeah."
How was this my life?
Two years earlier, I'd been fucking adored by a partner who treated me like I was his entire world. Now I had… this.
"Thank you so much." A tear slipped from the corner of her eye. "It's been a long few months."
No kidding.
I had assumed Jonah and Gwen would realize they weren't compatible anymore shortly after getting back together, because he was my fated mate. I had thought he would step down from his position and restart the Beta Challenges so someone else could take his place.
I thought he'd choose me over her, since our souls were destined and all.
None of those things had happened.
They'd fallen deeply in love, and he genuinely seemed to enjoy being the Beta.
I didn’t fucking know where that left me.
I cleared my throat. "Great chat, Gwen, but I've gotta go." I started to roll the window up, but she lowered her head a little, so we were eye-to-eye.
"Wait. Do you make bargains?" she asked.
"No." I didn't. I never really had. The only mark from deals that I still had was a small swirl on my hip from the one I'd made with Callum, centuries earlier, over a candy bar. Just to make sure we weren't fated.
You technically couldn't identify your fated mate until you made a bargain with them. Finding them through the unique way they experienced your magic was a recent establishment.
I'd released Darius and Merrily from the bargains to determine whether or not we were mates centuries earlier. Callum was the only one who could forgive the bargain he and I shared.
He'd been a little shit about it since we made the deal, refusing to let it go. We both knew he'd never call it in, so I didn't particularly care.
Other than that one, I didn't like having bargain marks on my skin. I really didn't like the sensation of being connected to someone through a bargain.
I definitely wasn't going to risk that with the woman my soulmate loved, no matter what she wanted.
Gwen blinked.
I drove away before I really did kill her.
On the drive, I did the only thing I could think of and called the one person whose issues with Gwen rivaled mine.
"Hello?" Kat sounded way too cheery for my current mood.
"I fucked up. Are you home?"
"No, I'm at the cafe on Lark."
"Way across the city? Screw that."
"Yeah, it's kind of a long drive. What happened?"
I sighed. "You're going to think I'm stupid."
"Everyone does stupid things, Liv. I once bargained my soul to open a cafe."
"I wish that was all I'd done."
She laughed. "What happened?"
I pulled over and got out to pace the parking lot of whatever building I'd just stopped in front of. Some kind of grocery store. There was an image of a nymph in their logo.
"Gwen asked me for advice about Jonah, and I told her he has feelings for her. Which he does, but I probably shouldn’t have admitted it, considering the fate thing. I told her to ask him to try getting back together."
There was a moment of silence.
"Hello? Kat?"
"Sorry, I'm just processing the fact that you gave your soulmate's ex-fiancée advice about how to win his heart back. What the hell, Liv?"
I groaned. "I told you that you couldn't judge me."
"No, you didn't."
"It was implied! Is Callum there? Give the phone to him."
"He heard the whole conversation already, and he still thinks you just need to bargain with Jonah so you can start figuring your shit out."
"I want him to love me before he finds out about the bond. Is that too much to ask?" I shoved a hand through my hair.
"You know that love can come after you’re mated, right?"
"I'm not willing to risk that. I'm glad it worked out for you, but the level of anxiety I have about all of this is.
.." I sat down on the asphalt, ignoring the lumpy parking lot beneath my ass and pulling my knees to my chest as I fought my anxiety.
"This isn't like your situation. He doesn’t want me, Kat.
He loves her. Deeply. Why would I mate with someone who loves someone else? "
"If you’re fated, it’ll work out. You’ll fall for each other," she said, but didn’t sound convinced.
She and Jonah hadn’t been close since he became the Beta. He’d been spending too much time with Gwen, and she’d been spending too much time with Callum. Not that I blamed her for the latter. They were mated, after all.
"He's not even possessive. Today, I said I would find someone else to screw me at the club, and he told me I should."
"What? I’ll kill him for you."
"I can kill him myself, but thanks."
"Well, maybe you guys just suck at communicating."
I huffed out a laugh, my eyes stinging. I was going to have a panic attack here, in a freaking parking lot. "There is no doubt about that. I just told his ex how to get him back."
"That wasn't your best moment, but Jonah cares about you. He wouldn't run a marathon every day for just anyone. It's like... Callum's stalking."
"It's nothing like the stalking."
"It probably takes just as much energy."
"My magic gives him energy, and he doesn’t even show up for all of the running. I’m acting pathetic at this point."
"Stop arguing with me and insulting yourself, Liv. I'm trying to cheer you up."
"Sorry." I took in a deep breath, fighting the incoming panic. "What do I do?"
"For now, Callum has a different problem for you to deal with."
"What problem?"
"I'm going to give him the phone. It's going to work out with Jonah."
I didn’t see how that was even remotely possible.
"Hey." Callum's voice made my throat swell all over again.
I didn't want to cry again, but I was getting really, really close to doing exactly that. "Hey."
"Larson called me yesterday. He thinks he's finally figured out a way to turn the rain off for good."
"Oh. Okay. Cool." I looked up at the rainclouds above me. It was currently drizzling, like always. The constant rain was still annoying, a century later. "What does that have to do with me?"
"I assume you remember what happened the last time Larson tried to fix that particular part of the wards."
My mind went back to that awful night.
The hell that had followed it.
The loss that had followed it.
Of all the shit I'd experienced, that was the one thing I had never managed to move on from.
"Oh, god. No. I'd prefer the rain. I love the rain. I—I can't."
The world started closing in on me.
The panic was hitting.
Shit.
Fuck.
I couldn't breathe.
I pulled my knees in tighter, gasping for air.
Why couldn’t I just have a mate who actually wanted me?
I couldn’t deal with my past on top of that.
I couldn't deal with Larson on top of that.
I couldn't deal with Niall on top of that.
Not now.
"Where are you?"
"Parking lot," I gasped. "Across town from you."
"Fuck. You’re on the ground, right? Not behind the wheel?"
I didn’t answer. Couldn’t.
My magic was going to kill me. My heart was going to beat out of my chest, and the air was going to steal my breath, and—
"Stand up," Callum ordered. He'd probably checked my location on the app our family used. "Do a lap around the parking lot. Now."
"I can’t." My eyes were burning horribly.
My feet were throbbing.
Everything hurt.
I was so fucking tired.
"Now, Liv. Do a lap now."
Through my panicked, heavy breaths, I managed to get to my feet. They felt like they were on fire.
"I can’t run. More of my blisters popped and I think I’m bleeding this time," I choked out.
"Get in the car and turn your music up loud. Start moving."
I did.
The deafening bass helped, a tiny bit. Enough that I could feel safe behind the wheel.
I pulled out of the parking lot.
Moving toward my house would help too.
"There's no other option. That part of the magic is tied to you. He has to use you to undo it," Callum yelled into the phone, so I could hear it over the music.
"I love the rain!" I yelled back, obviously lying. "Forget fixing it!"
A full century of rain was enough for anyone, but I'd need another couple hundred years before I was ready to face Larson.
Mostly because Niall would undoubtedly get involved. Lars didn't keep anything from him. They were twins, and they were best friends.
"Larson will be at your place at ten!" Callum shouted.
"That's in five minutes!"
"Then I suggest you drive quickly."
"I can't believe your mate hasn't killed you yet," I hollered.
Kat laughed on the other side of the line, clearly listening in on our call.
"Larson swears to make sure Niall plays nice. Good luck." Callum hung up.
"Fuck you!" I yelled, even though he couldn’t hear me.
Larson was an instigator, and he preferred it when Niall didn't play nice.
And if Larson was on his way to my house, Niall was either with him or close behind.
Which was really fucking bad.
I must’ve been a glutton for punishment, because my heart beat like a freight drum at the possibility of seeing my ex again.
That was probably Jonah’s fault too. Somehow.
I was just going to blame him for everything that went wrong now. There were no words that properly described how pissed off I was with fate.