Pretty Little Shadow (Fated Mate Bonds #4)

Chapter 1

one

RAE

I stared down at my phone’s screen. My heart was beating violently in my chest as I reread the text I hadn't sent.

Do you still want to make that bargain?

I almost hit the send button, but hesitated.

Again.

It wasn’t a crime to want to experience good sex, right?

I mean, no one had ever said it was a crime.

And I wasn’t opposed to being a criminal. I literally murdered people for my job. Shitty people, but still.

Something about making a deal for sex just seemed… different?

Crazier, maybe?

For me, it was downright insane.

I huffed.

I’d been considering this for ages, now. I’d talked myself out of doing it exactly ninety-four times.

It was truly an obsession.

But I couldn’t actually go through with it, could I?

I bit my lip, still staring down at the message.

I needed to send it. It was only one button. A single tap.

Meeting up with Darius once was all it would take, and then the situation would be over.

Resolved. Done. I could close the door on the possibility of ever wanting to have sex with anyone ever again, and just move on with my life as the unfriendly neighborhood assassin who no one really knew or cared about.

I tried to command myself.

Do it, Rae.

Fucking do it.

I didn't tap the button.

The groan that escaped me sounded like a pained animal’s.

I honestly didn’t know if I had it in me.

Maybe I just couldn’t have the conversation over text?

That sounded insane, because I’d prefer to have every conversation in my life over text.

But this one wasn’t working.

I reluctantly typed in the web address some creepy fangirl (or fanguy) had created:

It was the only up-to-date, accurate Scorch Tracker.

God, I hated that I knew that.

The site was basically a place where people posted about where Darius was and what he was doing every day. There was a small bubble on the top of the screen that showed his last confirmed location, and people posted photos and videos of him frequently.

I couldn’t help but look him up every night since he gave me a corn dog and let me steal his takeout food.

That had happened when I helped his best friend, Merrily, "beat" her mate, who was basically my older brother, in a fight.

There were always other people in the pictures of Darius. He was known for having a lot of sex. It was kind of his thing.

I wasn't sure which people in the photographs were the ones he was fucking, but some dark part of me wanted to know.

He'd made an announcement in the news and on social media about changing his ways a couple weeks earlier. He'd even gotten a job in a coffee shop and was spending his evenings in laid-back bars instead of nightclubs.

He was still surrounded by people, though. Always.

I glanced at the clock.

8:58 PM.

I'd officially been trying to send this message for two hours.

Something was severely wrong with me.

“He’s probably already hooking up with someone,” I whispered to my shadows.

Not that they had ears. They were just magic that danced around my skin constantly.

They were keeping me alive, so they felt like a part of me.

“I can’t fuck a guy who already fucked someone else in the last twenty-four hours, can I? That’s weird, right?”

It didn’t sound weird, though.

Why the hell did I want him so badly?

I’d never had this problem before, and I genuinely hated it.

I let out a harsh breath.

Fine.

I wasn’t sending the text.

I’d just go to the bar. If he was already with someone, I’d leave without letting him know I was there.

Going out in public was the worst. People stared and judged me, and I was awkward. I always worried that the truth about my past would come out, too.

I would just have to deal with it.

“I’m going to regret this,” I muttered to myself, shaking my head before I stood up. The hunger in my lower belly had been a problem since I smelled Dare's blood. It was another reason I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I hadn't really wanted to drink blood for more than a decade, but I kept fantasizing about his.

He was just… magnetic. In every way. It had to be his magic, but I’d never actually felt that power pulling me in the way other people said they did. I hadn’t ever felt it at all.

Maybe that meant something was wrong with me.

Or maybe it would solve my problem, and the moment I saw him again, I would stop obsessing over him.

Obsessing was normal for me, but not the way I’d been doing it with him.

Maybe I was finally having a sexual awakening at twenty-six years old.

Late bloomers for the win.

I put on a skintight black romper, threw my long, gray hair up in a ponytail, and drew my eyeliner in dramatic wings. Black lipstick followed, too.

The routine was as easy as breathing for me, after so many years of it. The makeup was a mask. One I loved deeply.

I shoved my fuzzy-socked feet into my combat boots before pulling up Dare's location and comparing it to the map app I had on my phone.

I could transport through the shadows, because I basically was one, but I could only do it if I had been to the place I was going. I had to know exactly what it looked like to appear there.

Luckily, Darius happened to be in one of Grayson's bars.

I had an idea forming. A small one. A terrible one, probably.

But it was still an idea.

Grayson made me learn how to be a bartender for a few weeks, shortly after I was officially an adult.

He'd been helping me try to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I'd complained endlessly, and I had been shitty at making drinks, but most people in his breweries just wanted the enchanted beer anyway.

If I showed up, none of his employees would tell me I wasn't allowed to work there.

While most immortals only whispered about me, pretty much all of the demons in the Shadow District knew what I looked like and made it a point to stay the fuck away from me.

I think they were all worried I'd do what Grayson had been trying to convince me to for the past ten-ish years and agree to take the vampire throne.

There was no chance I would ever let that happen. Zero. I'd sooner die.

But anyway.

I could pretend to be a bartender for a few minutes. Just long enough to see if Darius was still there. He could've already hooked up with someone, or changed his mind about making a bargain with me.

I wasn't going to allow myself to imagine how it would affect me if he wasn't interested.

After checking my eyeliner and lipstick to make sure I looked intimidating enough, I focused on my shadows, and used them to travel to the parking lot behind the brewery.

Someone swore and jumped away as I appeared directly in front of them.

Whoops.

No, I wasn't going to acknowledge them. Too uncomfortable.

I strode through the back door and into the building. Everyone who saw me usually either grimaced or stepped away in fear, so I didn't attempt to make eye contact with anyone.

There was a row of half-aprons hanging near the door that led directly behind the bar. I grabbed one without looking at the name on it, and tied it quickly behind my back. It was mine for now.

"Rae, uh... what are you doing here?" The manager asked.

I glanced her way, pausing just for a moment.

Lorelai.

She'd been there the last time I was, too.

She was a lamia, obnoxiously friendly, a decent manager, and not a threat.

"Bartending," I said.

She blinked. "Regularly? Or..."

"I just need cash. For Chinese food."

Everyone who knew about me knew I was obsessed with takeout food. It was the one character trait I didn't try to hide. I used it as a scapegoat, honestly.

They probably realized I was doing that, but it was better than having to actually explain things, which I wasn't willing to do.

"I can grab you some cash so you don't have to bartend." She gestured over her shoulder, toward the register.

"No thanks." I slid past her, pulling the notepad out of my apron’s pocket.

I wouldn't be there long, so she could stop panicking about me scaring her customers soon enough.

Multiple gazes landed on me as I stepped out behind the bar. I didn't make eye contact with any of them, either. That would be uncomfortable for all of us.

I didn't like the feel of their eyes. Actually looking into those eyes would be even worse.

"Can I get a cheer beer?" a woman asked me, leaning over the bar. She didn't seem to realize who I was, because her friend elbowed her hard and whispered something harshly into her ear.

I grabbed her a beer and slid it over. The woman gave me some cash, and I tucked it into the apron,

Lorelai was right that I didn't need money. Whoever picked up my apron next would find themselves just a little richer.

Grayson paid me more than I needed to kill people who deserved to die. It worked out for all of us, except the people I killed.

Technically, I had another bank account under my full name, too. I’d checked it online, before. Money wasn’t something I needed to worry about.

I spotted Darius easily.

Everyone in the room who wasn't looking at me was looking at him.

Like I said, he was magnetic.

Dare was solid muscle, and basically a giant, too.

He was covered in large, raised scars and tiny, swirling bargain marks on every part of him but his face.

His skin was brown, his dark hair was messy, and his stubble was overgrown.

All he had on was a pair of cargo-style joggers, and a tight t-shirt.

I studied him for a moment, checking to see if he was flirting with anyone. I didn't really know what flirting looked like, but he wasn't touching anyone. That was good, right?

Some guy was leaning against his side, staring at him like he hung the moon. Some girl had her hand on his arm. He didn't even really seem to notice either of them.

People had been like that when we were at the fight together, too. They touched him like they couldn't help it, and he didn't care or even acknowledge it.

I cared, though.

I was trying not to. There was no reason for the ridiculous possessiveness currently coursing through me like a fucking fire in my veins. There was definitely no reason to murder the man and woman hanging off him, even though I could clearly imagine myself doing exactly that.

Someone at Dare's table looked at me, and gawked. They must've said something, because everyone else at the table turned too.

Including Darius.

His gaze locked with mine, and his lips curved upward. Just slightly.

Shit.

I wasn't ready.

Needed to leave.

I focused on my shadows, scrambling to work the magic as I attempted to transport through it, back to my apartment.

Darius pushed the woman's hand off him and literally stepped over her.

Then he was walking over to me.

Not just walking. Striding.

STRIDING.

Like he wanted to get to me quicker.

MAYDAY.

I needed to leave. Stat.

My fucking shadows weren't responding, though, and I couldn't focus for anything.

What the hell was wrong with me?