Chapter 10
ten
RAE
I didn't want Darius to leave.
Something told me it was going to become a problem.
I ignored that something, but tried to get out of his arms after a solid five minutes of cuddling. He held me tighter, not letting go.
"You're tired of me already?" he murmured against my temple. I could feel his smile, and hear it in his voice.
"No. Just... messy."
"We could shower together. Or take a bath. I think there's a tub."
"There is. It's too big. I tried to sit in it, and fell when I turned the water on. My legs didn't reach the other side.
He snorted. "I won't have that problem."
"Probably not."
I didn't reply to his offer. Wasn't sure how to.
He made me feel incredible, but this was still a lot.
A mate bond was a big deal, and I had no idea what it would mean for me. Or what the future would look like. Or what our relationship would even be like, outside of the sex.
The sex was clearly not going to be a problem.
"Callum said you need more stimulation," I said. "He said I need to tell you what is and isn't acceptable when we're apart, so you don't spiral."
"Callum needs to stay the fuck out of our relationship."
"He's right, though. Isn't he?"
"No. You can do whatever you want."
"But I don't want you to spiral. I'm not... I can't be the kind of mate you really want me to be," I admitted, shifting a little on his lap. "You're looking for someone to fix your problems. I can't do that."
"I don't want you to fix me, Rae. I want you to be with me. You want to decide what's acceptable in our relationship? Alright. Let's decide what's acceptable. Tell me what you need."
"I don't know. Blood, probably. I was crazy hungry all week, and food didn't fix it. So yeah. Blood." My gaze lifted to the awful wounds on his throat, and I grimaced. "Shit. I forgot to—" I cut myself off as I leaned in to lick them, so they would heal.
Darius blocked me by grabbing my chin and redirecting my mouth to his. He kissed me lightly. "Nope. I want those to scar."
"You... what?"
"I want those to scar. I've got enough scars I didn't want. I want these ones. When I finish releasing my bargains, I'll need something to decorate my neck, anyway. The people who held me captive never hurt me there."
"You're releasing your bargains?"
"Of course I am. I only made them because I was looking for you. It's going to take a while, since I have so many, but I've already started. That's what I've been doing when Callum thinks I'm spiraling."
Panic crept in anyway. "I don't want you sporting scars because of me."
"I didn't ask, Shadow." He prodded my bottom lip lightly. "You cut yourself."
"I'm not used to my fangs."
He leaned in dragged the tip of his tongue over the tiny cut on my lip.
My eyes widened as it began to heal. Slowly.
"I, uh... I still need space too," I said quickly, flying off his lap and grabbing my shorts. I yanked them up my thighs. "What do you need?"
He breathed out slowly. "A warning before you let go of me. Forgot how that feels."
Ah.
Crap.
I dropped onto the other side of the couch from him, poking my toes against his thigh so my touch could ease his magic and I could still have space.
He relaxed again. If it hadn't been so clearly automatic, I might've wondered if he was trying to manipulate me. But his reactions were too fast, and too believable.
"I'm not ready to have a mate," I said.
"Yeah, I know. That's completely fine." He set a hand on the top of my foot. "We could be friends."
"I don't know how to have friends, either. My parents didn't let me interact with the other kids much even before my dad lost his mind. They were overprotective."
"Friendship's easy. You just do things together and talk about pointless shit. Deep conversation is allowed, but not required. No romance. Just fun."
That did sound kind of nice.
"What would you want to do together?" I asked.
"I want you to teach me how to play video games."
My eyebrows shot upward. "They're not hard."
"I'm going to be terrible. My reflexes are slow as fuck because of my magic."
The apathy.
Ah.
That did make sense.
"You've never played before?"
"I've played, but usually just chill farming games. Merrily has to do the fishing for me in all of them. I fucking hate the fishing."
"There are mods for some of those games that let you skip the fishing."
"There are?"
"Yup."
"I needed you in my life a century ago. Do you know how many panic attacks Merrily has had trying to catch the fish?"
"She has panic attacks from fishing in video games?"
"Yup. And I lose most of the fish when I try to catch them."
"Wow. You must be the worst video gamers that exist."
"Yeah, we've been saying that for years. Callum and Liv get on and crush us at games they don't even know."
"Well, you can't game with me unless you're going to be on the other team, fucking up their chances. Or while I'm touching you, so your reflexes aren't so bad."
"I prefer the second option, but I can accept the first."
"Alright. I'll text you my username." I noticed the bag of takeout food still sitting on the coffee table. It would be cold... but it sounded good.
"Want to share the food?" I asked.
Darius shot me a look. "You don't share food."
"Apparently, I do after I've been fucked."
“Finger fucked,” he corrected.
I kicked his leg, earning a wicked grin as he grabbed the bag of food off the table. I scooted closer, and we shared it.
It was kind of nice.
"If we were together, this is what it would be like," Darius said, casually. "I'm not asking or trying to push you. Just throwing that out there. We'd hang out, just like this.”
"Is that what we're doing? Hanging out?"
He tickled my foot, and an unholy shriek escaped me as I kneed him solidly in the side. He laughed, dragging me closer and lifting a giant bite of sweet and sour chicken to my mouth.
I ate it, of course.
And drank the entirety of the now-watery iced chai latte he'd brought for me.
"If we're going to hang out as friends, there still needs to be rules. I have to know what time you're coming over and leaving," I warned.
"What time do you want me to come over?"
"No. What time do you want to come over?"
"All day, every day, would be good."
I rolled my eyes.
He flashed me another grin.
"When is your magic the worst?" I asked.
"First thing in the morning. Getting out of bed is a pain."
I made a face. "I hate mornings. I'd rather sleep right through them."
"I could sleep through the entire day if my family let me."
"That sounds blissful."
"If we ever go on a honeymoon..."
I kneed his side again.
He laughed even louder than before, and pinned me to the couch on my back before I could really wrestle him. I knew how to fight, but I had no desire to prove it.
"Friends don't go on honeymoons, Scorch."
"We're friends who are also mates. Mate friends? Nah, friendly mates sounds better. And friendly mates go on a honeymoon after they seal their bond."
"I'm not talking about that."
"Alright. Don't talk about it. I'm not going to pretend it isn't real, though. We can wrestle every time you try to deny it."
"You clearly enjoy wrestling." I brushed his erection with my foot, and it jumped for me.
"I enjoy everything when you wear that tiny bra with those shorts."
I stuck my tongue out at him.
He leaned in and licked it.
A laugh sputtered out of me. "God, you're insane."
"The proper adjective these days is unhinged."
"Let me write that down."
"Use your tongue to write it on my dick."
I laughed again. His grin was ridiculously wide and insanely free. It met his eyes, too.
"Alright, fine. You can come over here first thing in the morning. If I'm asleep, you can wake me up or we can snuggle or something for an hour before you go to work. Your shift starts at four, right?" I checked.
"Yup."
"Okay. Wow. That's freaking early. Whatever. You're keeping your coffee shop job. Your world still can't revolve around me," I said.
"Alright."
His cock throbbed against my foot, and I rolled my eyes at him. "Really?"
"You're the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen."
"Liar."
"No. The apathy dulls everything. I've never been this interested in anything or anyone. I'm not proud of it, but you have me so sensitive that I nearly came in my pants a dozen times when I was eating you out."
I perked up. "Really?"
"Really."
"Wow. Maybe I am hot. You've fucked half the city by now."
"Slut shaming isn't in style, Shadow."
"I wasn't shaming you. I was stating a fact. It grates on my possessiveness a little that you've been with so many people, but I'm not shaming you over it."
His cock throbbed against my foot again. "I like you possessive."
"You wouldn't if I went on a murder spree."
"You'd be surprised."
I rolled my eyes.
"None of them meant anything to me. You could probably look it up on a discussion site and find people talking about how little I cared about the immortals I fucked. I probably have as many haters as I do fans."
"I doubt it. As far as us hanging out... you could bring food after your shift ends too, and we could have lunch together. If there's time, we can play video games for a while, too."
"Alright. That works."
Darius kissed me, lightly. "Does that mean you want me to leave?"
"I guess."
"Okay. Enjoy your afternoon." He started to get up.
"Unless you want to play video games first..." I trailed off, not entirely ready to be alone yet.
"As long as you're prepared to crush me."
I grinned.
And yeah, I crushed him. Even though I left my foot against his thigh so his reflexes were faster than usual.