Chapter 25
twenty-five
RAE
I smoothed the stretchy fabric of one of my kick-ass rompers over my stomach. It was probably a poor choice for a sex club, but it made me feel less exposed than the hundred other items I’d tried on.
Kat leaned back in the decorative chair she occupied in the bedroom I shared with Darius. "Are you sure about this?"
We'd gone shopping together for a good part of the day. Dare and Callum had Cabinet shit to do, Kat wanted company, and I had been looking for something to wear that night.
Hadn’t found anything, so it was back to my trusty, hot assassin romper.
"Not even a little sure," I said bluntly.
The last thing I wanted was someone else's hands or eyes on my skin.
But Darius had realized what point I was trying to make, and instead of talking it through, he was expecting me to chicken out or something.
I wasn't going to chicken out.
Not this time.
I would never run from him again.
"Do you think I'm actually going to have to let someone else fuck me to make my point?" I asked, nausea rising in my stomach. "What if he really doesn't care?"
I didn't know if I could go through with that.
"No. No way. He cares.”
I nodded shakily. "Do you think he can feel my nerves?"
"Probably. Can you feel his?"
"He's not nervous. I don't know what he's feeling. It's not leaking through the bond."
Kat's forehead creased. "Did his apathy come back?"
"I don't think so. He still has almost all of my shadows."
"Maybe he's not planning on letting you go through with it, so it's not making him worry."
God, I hoped so. "What if he doesn't even want me to be all-in?"
"He does. Believe me, I know fae. Especially the stubborn male asshole fae. He didn't spend centuries looking for you just to watch you fuck someone else.
Kat's phone buzzed as I fixed my hair, and she glanced down at it. "Callum's outside, I have to get going. Will you be okay?"
"Undecided."
"Oh, you'll be fine." She gave me a quick hug before she practically bounced out of the room, excited to see her mate.
Dare caught the door before it shut completely, striding into the room.
The man was fucking gorgeous, wearing nothing but a pair of dark green joggers.
I tried not to let myself stare—but did a double-take when I realized his skin was completely bare.
No bargain marks.
Just smooth skin and raised scars.
And our mate mark, swirling over his hip the same way mine did.
"You got rid of your last bargains?"
"I did. I'm all yours, now. Thinking about getting some tattoos.” His eyes moved slowly over me, the way they had so many times. "You are so fucking beautiful, Shadow."
A zip of thrill rolled up my spine, but I turned back to the mirror and acted like I was fixing the edge of my black lipstick. “You’d look hot with tattoos. Not that you need any help in that department.”
He chuckled.
I ignored the way my heartbeat picked up at the sound. “Are you changing before we leave?"
"Nah."
Darius took a few steps closer, setting his hands on my waist.
His emotions finally flared, and I nearly choked on the sudden, overwhelming feeling rolling from him to me.
Love.
So fucking much love.
"You have no business feeling that for me right now," I whispered. "You don't even want me to be all-in."
"That's not what I said."
"It is."
"I said you didn't have to be all in. I never said I didn't want you to." He swept some of my hair off my shoulder and lowered his lips to my throat, kissing me lightly. "Ready to go?"
My eyes burned.
No.
Not even a little.
"I don't know if I can,” I admitted.
"Let me help." He kissed my throat again lightly, before releasing me and disappearing into the closet.
I had no idea what he was looking for, or why he thought it could help me, but I waited.
He came out with one of my ridiculously-comfortable bralettes, a cropped tee with the name of our current favorite video game on it, and a pair of my shorts.
"I can't go to a sex club looking like myself," I argued.
"Then skip the sex club. Let's go grab corn dogs, instead."
"Corn dogs?"
His lips curved, just slightly. "You know how I feel about corn dogs, Shadow. Remember that food truck I told you about?"
"You said it's all the way out in the Shadow District."
"We've got shit to talk about anyway."
"Like what?"
"You, thinking I would ever actually watch another man touch you without torching the guy. Me, not making it clear that I want you to be mine in every fucking way. We're shitty at emotions, and I'm tired of it. It's time for this to change. We need to talk about everything."
"Everything?"
"Everything." He held the clothes out toward me again, an obvious invitation.
One I desperately wanted to accept.
"You can ask me anything you want, but it'll be like it was on the roof. An answer for an answer. We'll talk. We'll eat. Maybe we'll walk around a bit. What do you say?"
“Corn dogs sound amazing.”
I slid the romper off. Darius gave me the shorts and stepped around my back, pulling my bra into place for me lightly.
He tugged my shirt over my head afterward, and ran a hand slowly through my hair. "You're even more beautiful like this, baby."
"Don't push your luck."
He chuckled, taking my hand and leading me out to the garage.
We were pulling away from the house a few minutes later.
I fiddled with the radio, turning on quiet music. "You never told me what you thought of me after we met," I said. "When we saw each other at Merrily's house, and I told her that Grayson was going to abduct her."
He snorted. "I fantasized about you constantly. Even while I was fucking other people. I knew it wasn't healthy, but I couldn't stop myself. I got off a lot easier than I ever had before, thinking about you."
I grimaced. "I'm not sure if I should want to murder people for that, or be turned on by it."
"Both?" he suggested. "What did you think about me?"
"I was... fascinated, I guess. I thought about you every day. I wanted to see you again, but I ignored it. Obviously. I thought I was just being obsessive, like always. What did you think after we went to Grayson's fight together?"
"I fucking loved talking to you. Everything was darker after you left.
My family clung to me. I had a harder time acting like I was fine.
I wanted you badly, but I didn't let myself believe you could be mine.
I couldn't fuck anyone else, either. The idea was so unappealing that I didn't even try, which was why I got the coffee shop job. So I could still make bargains."
The conversation continued.
We only paused for a little while when we bought a stack of corndogs from a food truck. We walked along the river while we ate them, until there was no one around. Or no one close enough to hear us, at least.
Then we sat down on the edge of the pavement that framed the river, with our legs dangling, and we kept talking.
Our sides pressed together as we cuddled up close, staring out at the rolling water while our conversation went on.
And on.
And on.
I saw the gleam of colorful scales and fins in the water a few times. Mermaids or monsters out swimming, probably.
We were both emotionally drained when we eventually went back to the car while the sun rose. Someone snapped pictures of us, but I was over it.
If they wanted pictures, they could have them. We were mates. That wasn't going to change.
Darius buckled me into the passenger seat and drove me home while I fought my heavy eyelids, trying hard to stay awake and absolutely failing.
I didn't wake up until he was sliding into bed with me in his arms, holding me to his chest.
"Dare?" I mumbled.
"Yeah, baby?" He sounded as exhausted as I felt.
"I love you too. I wasn't sure before, but I am now."
"I know. I should've realized it when you shared your food with me."
"Me too. Can I be all-in now?"
He gave me a low, rough chuckle. "I'll drag you all-in with my teeth if I have to."
My lips curved a little. "Good. I like being mated to you."
"That's the best compliment you could fucking give me," he murmured.
"I know." I buried my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. "Let's sleep."
"Mmhm."
We were snoring together in less than a minute.