Eleven
LIANA
I don’t know what came over me last night. I pushed aside every thought of what’s happening with Dario and my father took over my mind. Or should I say Gabriel—there’s nothing about him that’s father-like, and I refuse to call him my father ever again, especially knowing what I know now.
Before Dario crept up on me and stood outside my door, I had hours alone to dissect Gabriel’s words and rethink my entire life. In one hour, I realised that he wasn’t a regular father; he cared more about money and how the media perceived us, than he did about being there for us. I was blind to the actions he took that proved all he had was money on his mind. He has also made me rethink my biological mother’s reasons for leaving. Did she leave us to escape me or him?
I was only an infant, but Apollo was five. She spent five whole years with him and left when I was only a few months old. Could she not handle being a mother of two? Or could she not stand my father any longer? Either way, there’s something within me that begs to reach out to her. I’ve spent two decades loathing her, but I need to know the truth—was it me, or him?
Every question imaginable has crossed my mind and still, I have no answer to any of them. And I never will. I have no memory of her, and Gabriel refuses to talk about her. There’s no photos of her to prove she ever existed in the first place. The only solid thing I have to go off of to prove her existence is Apollo—the brother I haven’t seen or spoken to in almost eight years.
I’ve texted him, or the last known number I have for him, at least. I have absolutely zero hope that he’ll respond, but I have to have faith because what else do I have? A crappy father, a step-mother who couldn’t be more oblivious to her husband’s antics, and a future husband who treats me like an obligation to uphold, and a possession that allows him to keep his cushy lifestyle. He’s not going to accept me into his family, and right now, I have no family of my own.
Sliding my phone into the pocket of my pyjama shorts, I walk down the staircase and the faint smell of lavender overwhelms my senses and I feel nauseous. Inhaling through my mouth, I exhale a shaky breath and follow my instincts to the kitchen.
Pushing open the swinging door, Mrs C immediately turns to face me and a smile appears on her lips. “Liana, it’s nice to see you again dear. How are you feeling?”
“Nauseous,” I admit, speaking before thinking my words through.
“Oh wow!” she exclaims, inching closer, “Is it that time already?”
I glance over to Elaina, her face mimicking Mrs C’s. “I didn’t realise you two were sleeping together already. This is great news, Liana.”
I stare at them both, dumbfounded. “Wait, what?”
“Well, you’re nauseous. Are you experiencing any other symptoms?”
“Symptoms of what?”
“Pregnancy,” they both clarify in unison in a tone that sends a shiver down my spine.
“I’m not pregnant,” I scoff. “It’s that lavender smell. It always makes me feel sick.”
They both stare at me for a few seconds longer before turning to face each other. After a few moments of silence, they both burst out in a fit of laughter.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, shrugging my shoulders as I move in closer.
“We’re both parents, Liana,” Elaina starts. “We already have one grandchild on the way and he or she would love to have a playmate. You can never have too many babies around, but we apologise for the assumption, honey.”
A breathy laugh escapes me as I shake my head. “It smells like the clinic in here, Mrs C. It’s quite—”
“Nauseating?” Elaina says, finishing my sentence.
Within an instant, we all laugh together until we’re interrupted by Dario, Maze and Remi. They all stare at us the way I imagine I stared at Mrs C and Elaina just a few minutes ago.
“Mrs C,” Maze says with a smile. He walks towards her, his arms open wide to greet her. A soft smile creeps up on her lips as she lowers her mug and meets him in the middle, wrapping her arms around him.
“Where’s my girl?” she asks, pulling away from him.
“Morning sickness is kicking her ass,” he says with a sigh. “She doesn’t want me or anyone else around. She’s angry when she’s throwing up.”
“She’s not angry with you,” she clarifies, pouring the last bit of liquid from her glass into the sink before cleaning it and placing it on the draining board. “She’s angry that she’s throwing up. She never liked being sick as a kid. I’ll check on her.” She slides past the men and disappears into the hallway.
“Mama, I need to speak to Liana,” Dario says and my eyes dart over to him. What else could be said? We covered all the bases last night, or so I thought.
“Of course, darling. Did you want the room?”
“No, but I’d like to steal her away for a few minutes.”
“Okay,” I say, following him out of the kitchen.
He doesn’t wait for me as he walks down the hall towards his office, quickly stepping inside.
As I round the corner, I find him waiting by the door and I slide past him. Once the door closes behind me, he guides me to a chair opposite his leather one before seating himself.
“Was there more to talk about?” I ask, hoping to speed the process up.
Being in his office again is unnerving. The events from the last time I was in here replay in my mind. My eyes dart to the bullet hole in a large book on his shelf, the exact book that Red shot at to prove a point.
“It’s time we discuss wedding plans, Liana,” he starts, clasping his hands on his desk. “Your test results are back now, meaning there’s nothing holding us back from proceeding.”
I nod. “I was thinking the same, actually,” I lie, keeping a brave face. My stomach drops as the realisation sinks in that we’re soon to be married.
“Your mother, Kat and I have planned everything, keeping everything you requested in mind. Personally, I like the idea of a black and white wedding.”
“I’m glad you agree. As you can tell, everything around here has a cohesive design. It’s the one constant in my life, and I like to include it wherever possible.”
“The details aren’t important to me,” I clarify, shifting to try and make myself more comfortable in my seat. “I figured, why waste my initial ideas of a dream wedding on one neither of us wants to remember anyway.”
His jaw clenches as he swallows. “Precisely. I’m glad we agree.” He drags a file from the left side of his desk and flips it open. “The guest list is short, only my family and yours, plus a few old friends and important allies. Is there anyone else you’d like to include?”
I take a moment to think over his question. “My friend Anabel,” I start. “I’d like her to be there as my maid of honour. I’d like to remove my father and Chiara from the list, though. They come as a pair and I don’t want to see him right now.” He nods, humming as he pens down my requests. “And my brother, Apollo. I’d like him to be there with his partner.”
His eyes flick up to mine in an instant. “I wasn’t aware you had any siblings.” His words carry an unspoken question.
“An older brother,” I smile the words. “I haven’t seen him in years because of Gabriel. He didn’t exactly agree with his life choices back then, and I doubt he’s changed his mind since. It would be nice to see him again.”
He nods. “Do you think he’d actually show up?” he asks, softening his tone and putting the pen down. “It has been years, Liana. Sometimes—”
“I’d like him to at least have the choice,” I interrupt. “I’d like to rekindle our relationship. I mean, it’s not like I had any say in him disappearing from my life. While it’s not a day either one of us wants to commemorate, it’s still my wedding day and I’ll be kicking myself if I don’t at least try to have him there.”
“Okay,” he breathes out. “Did you have an address for him?”
“Uhm, no… But I’ve sent him a message, so I hope to see him before the wedding anyway.”
He pushes the file aside and clears his throat, clasping his hands together again. “Now, on to your attire for the night. My mother and Mrs C have agreed to take you shopping for a dress. Kat might join you if she’s feeling better, but it’s most likely she won’t be.”
“That’s fine,” I say, feigning a pleasant tone, biting back the urge to hurl. “Their company will be fine. Plus, they’ve both been married before, so I’m sure they’ll offer good insight into a dress that will be suitable, and they know you well, I presume. So, they’ll also be able to match your taste.”
“That’s not necessary,” he quips. “You have the freedom to choose whatever dress you like best.”
He waits for my response, but I remain silent. I don’t want to choose a dress for me… or for him, for that matter, but I know it’s something I have to do.
“Floral arrangements, decorations and catering are all being taken care of by outside sources. My parents, grandparents and Mrs C are helping with those arrangements. All you have to focus on is putting on the dress and showing up on time.”
“Is that all?” I ask, my body itching to leave.
“Not quite,” he says. “Would you be opposed to a honeymoon straight after the wedding? It’s something that’s expected—you know, going out in public as a newly married couple, faking our love and happiness.”
“How soon after the wedding is considered ‘straight after’?”
“A day or two.”
“And where would we go?”
“Where would you like to go, Liana?”
I shrug. “I don’t know, somewhere nice, maybe.”
“Isn’t there somewhere you’d like to go? Anywhere in the world?”
“France,” I say without hesitation. “Paris, to be specific.” Even after all Gabriel has done, his stories from my childhood have stuck with me. It sounds like a beautiful place, one I wanted to witness with the love of my life, and while Dario isn’t that, this is the only chance I’ll have to visit the sights.
He nods, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth. “Then Paris it is. I’ll arrange everything.”
“Is that everything?” I ask again, bracing my hands on the armrests.
“For now, yes. You’re free to leave, Liana.”
“I’ll see you later?” I ask without thinking. It sounds desperate, like I want to see him later.
“You’ll be out all afternoon, Liana… I don’t think you’ll want to see me. It’ll be a long day. Besides, I have a few things to organise myself.”
“Okay,” I say, excusing myself from his office.
As the door clicks shut behind me, I release a pent-up breath of relief, but it comes out shaky and scattered. Something within me screams that we left the conversation unfinished. I had nothing to say when I sat across from him, but now, I wish I’d said more. Anything to be in his presence a little longer. There’s something about Dario that I can’t quite place, but he makes me feel seen in a way I’ve never been seen before. He might be a bad person, but something within me says that beneath his rough and cold exterior, there’s a man that is just as desperate as I am to feel something raw and real.
I could be wrong, though. I’ve never been good at reading people, only seeing what I want to see… And that’s been proven.