CHAPTER 22
The way she looks up at me with those big baby blues as tears stream down her cheeks breaks me.
My whole resolve disappears the second she confessed to why she walked off a cliff.
I can't tell if it was an actual attempt on her life, or if she was simply trying to feel something, anything that wasn't laced with worry and dread.
“Sit down.”
Like the good girl she is, she backs up until her calves hit the couch she was sleeping on, and plops down. I sit beside her, then pull her into my side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She nuzzles into me, lying her head on my chest. I run my fingers along her arm in a soothing motion.
I let her sit here for a couple of minutes before I break the silence.
“Do you not want to go to college?”
She sniffles and lifts her head off my chest.
“I just don't know anymore. At home, there's a place I'm comfortable being in and have been helping at, but it'll all stop when I leave for school.
Annie's also going far away for college, so that means whatever we have will evaporate.
I don't want that to happen, but my heart says I need to stay in my hometown.”
I must think over how to respond to her without giving away the fact that I know where she's talking about.
She doesn't want to stop her work at The Rainbow Reading Room or at Hunters Homestead.
I understand why, though. She's been working hard every day, practically helping the girls and Hunter with everything they may need.
He's been killing it, even with juggling school and all her community service.
“Have you talked to your parents about it?”
I know for a fact her dad wants her to go to college and that he probably won't stand for her not attending. I overheard him telling Miss Apple Bottom about how she would be the only one in her family to go, and that makes him so proud. No wonder she feels pressured to attend.
“No, but they won't understand, they never will.”
“But you have to do what makes you happy and what speaks to your heart, little prey. Don't let them control you.”
“Control me? If you know me so well, then you know that's not an option. I don't let anyone control me.”
Once again, another lie, she tells herself for self-comfort because I've controlled her. I've told her what to do, and she obeys, sometimes with a sassy little fucking attitude, but nonetheless, she still does it every goddamn time.
I love how she gets bothered by my words.
“Don't be a brat, Scarlett. I do know you.
I know you swim in the mornings, you worked your ass off for that Jeep of yours, and I know you're in love with your best friend, but she isn't sure if she loves you back the same way.
I know if you go to college, you'll be the only one in your family to ever go.
I know that your parents hover over you, and that's why you do so much. This way, you can have some freedom away from them. I also know you smoke weed to cope with the stress of your perfectionism and developing anxiety. And to top it off, I know you like me and that scares you.”
“But…”
I can practically see the steam coming out of her ears as she replays my words in her head. I let her think for a minute, doing nothing but rubbing her arm in small up and down motions.
“How…How did you know about my family?”
At this point, it hits her that she really has no idea who I am, but I know exactly who she is.
“I have to go.”
She darts up off the couch and practically sprints right out my camper door before I can even make it halfway to the threshold.
I could chase or follow after her, but it would be of no use.
She needs time to process. It's not like she can actually run and hide from me.
Reality is, here or back in Maple Brook Falls, I'll be there lurking in the shadows.
I don't know how much longer I can handle keeping my identity a secret because here tonight, on the couch, I wanted nothing more than to claim her as mine for once and all.