Chapter 11
eleven
. . .
Eden
The second day of physio is no better than the first. Kris offered to pick me up and drop me off this morning, but Felix got really worked up when Kyle said he’d grab me afterward. Felix finally backed down after I insisted that Kyle could do it.
I get that he wants to help, but they are my best friends.
Dinner went fine, but there was this layer of heaviness that never lifted and Felix didn’t speak much after Kris and Kyle left last night.
Felix is protective and feels a sense of responsibility to me. I get that, but right now I can use all the help I can get. Still…there is an edge to him. A tension that leaves me breathless and a little confused.
“You did really well today, Eden,” Jonathan says with a smile.
“Thanks,” I say, slowly zipping up the new hoodie Felix gave me last night.
“Here are some diagrams of the exercises we’ve been practicing, and this is the new one we added today. Do the first half of the sheet in the morning and the second half in the afternoon just to break up the day and keep you from pushing too hard. See you in a couple days.”
“Thanks again.”
Knock.
Knock.
I look up at the open door, and Kyle is leaning against the jamb with his normal goofy smile.
“Someone call for a ride?”
“Hey. I could’ve met you in reception.”
“Sure, but then how do I look like the big strong guy helping his poor injured friend? I need to get brownie points here,” he says, and I roll my eyes.
I reach for my crutch and wince. Kyle walks in and grabs it. He hands it over before moving to my other side and putting his arm loosely around my waist, just in case.
“I hate this,” I state flatly.
“I know, but at least you’re going to be okay.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I look up at him.
“Yeah, I know. I got off easy as far as injuries go. I guess it’s just everything else that makes it feel so much worse.”
We make the slow trek out to Kyle’s red truck. It’s one of those small ones that looks more like a toy, but he loves it like a child. When he first got it, I teased him relentlessly. Now, the joke is on me because it is the perfect height for me to climb inside.
Kyle gets in the driver’s seat and my phone rings. It’s the funeral home. I don’t want to answer, but decisions need to be made for my parents’ funeral.
“Hello?”
“Hi there, is this Eden?”
“Yes.”
“It’s Eloise from the Pembroke Funeral Home. I just wanted you to know that we were able to secure the sunflowers you requested.”
Sunflowers?
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.”
“For your parents’ funeral on Saturday. I wasn’t sure if we could get them this time of year, but we can, and everything will be perfect. Also, I received the passage for the chaplain to read. You chose a very beautiful piece. I’ll make sure he gets it.”
I sit in silence, staring straight ahead, confused. One minute my parents are people. The next, they are flower arrangements, paperwork, and dates carved into stone.
“My condolences for your loss.”
“Thanks.”
“See you Saturday, Eden.”
“Goodbye.”
The call ends, and I just sit there.
“Eden? What’s going on,” Kyle asks, reaching out and grabbing my hand.
“I…I think Felix made all the arrangements for my parents’ funeral.” I look at Kyle. “It’s this Saturday.”
“What? But he didn’t even know them.” His forehead creases, and his brows draw together. “That’s really fucking rude. Who the fuck does he think he is?”
Kyle’s face remains dark as he looks back to the road.
Tears sting my eyes. I’m torn between being angry that Felix did this incredibly personal thing without talking to me and relieved that I don’t have to think about it. I don’t have to make choices that leave me feeling hollow.
“He’s just trying to help,” I say softly.
“Yeah, I get that, but this is your parents’ funeral, not ordering dinner. Who decides to make funeral arrangements and then not even tell you? What was he going to do, hand you an outfit Saturday morning and tell you to get up and get ready?” He shakes his head. “Over-fucking-stepping.”
My back bristles.
“Kyle, Felix has been nothing but nice and has been there for me since the accident. He literally pulled me out of the twisted metal, and despite the loss of his brother, he’s been there every step of the way for me.
I know it seems fast, but I genuinely feel like helping me makes his loss not so painful. ”
Kyle hits me with a glare.
“I know, Eden, but I…I just get this weird feeling about the guy. Last night he was off with me. He kept glaring at me and took my spot on the couch.”
“You were glaring back just as much,” I say with a smile.
“Only because he was glaring at me,” he says with a huff.
“Are you jealous?”
“What? No. Of course not. We decided to be friends.” He looks at me. “Right?”
“Uh huh, but you’re still a guy. You’re all weird like that,” I say, poking at him.
“Not fair picking on men in general. Besides, I’m serious. I’m looking out for you as a friend.”
“Sure, sure. I think you just don’t like me having another guy in my life. You’ve been the only one…like ever.”
He rolls his eyes at me.
“Please, I don’t think a couple dates and kisses with an ass grab qualifies as the only guy in your life.”
I chuckle, loving that I can get under his skin like normal. Teasing one another is our norm, and it has taken my mind off the funeral. I look out the window and sigh.
“Sadly, it does.”
“Eden, you do know that you’re fucking hot, right? You need time to find the perfect guy. I just don’t think Felix is the one.” I look at him and cock a brow. “But that is only my opinion,” he adds, saving himself.
“All I’m asking is for you to give him a chance. Felix lost his mother a year ago and now his brother. His father is in prison, and I get the feeling that he doesn’t have a lot of friends to lean on.”
“Gee, I wonder why? He’s so friendly and approachable,” Kyle mocks, and I just shake my head as and smack his arm. I immediately regret it as my ribs bark at me, and cringe away from the pain.
“Ow. Dammit.”
“You deserve that for hitting me.”
Kyle smiles wide, and a tiny spark of the person I was before the crash comes to life. Like an ember of a fire that used to burn bright, and this is all that’s left. But at least it is something.
“Fine...” He sighs dramatically. “I’ll give him a chance,” he says, his expression sober. “But Eden…just be careful. Call it guy intuition.”
I nod. Felix doesn’t feel dangerous when he looks at me. He feels like standing in the middle of a storm and realizing that somehow, he’s keeping the lightning at bay.
“I will. Promise.”
Kyle squeezes my hand and then puts on music for the rest of the drive home. Even though I defended Felix’s actions, I need to get firm on some boundaries. No matter his intentions…arranging my parent’s funeral is a step too far.
felix
Despite how swamped I am with work and how much I normally love it, my mind is on Eden. She hasn’t texted to let me know how PT went, so I send her one, but still no answer.
“Oh my God, I love it,” my customer says as I put the final touches on the image of her cat.
I can do anything, but realism and fine line are my specialty, especially names done in all black. There is something so poetic about loving another so much that you want their name on your body. I caress the blank space on my forearm.
“You really captured her eyes.”
I look up at the woman who is now standing in front of the mirror, admiring the work.
“I’m glad you like it,” I say as I clean up.
My shop may not be fancy, but it is spotless, and everything is sterilized with new needles for every person. I hate how some shady artists will cut corners to make an extra buck.
“It’s worth every penny.”
She tosses a fifty down on my table as a tip before heading to the cash register to pay. Most think that Matt, my only friend, is the owner. Probably because he actually likes people and talks while I really don’t care to learn about their lives. There is only one person I care about.
The bell jingles as cat lady walks out.
“That’s your last one for the day,” Matt says as I put my ink away. “Wanna get a beer tonight?”
We are total opposites, but we’ve been as close as brothers since the moment we met in grade nine.
“Can’t, I’m seeing someone tonight.”
“A date…with you?” He walks over and parks himself on my roller stool. “Who is so desperate that they are going out with you?”
“The girl from the crash. I told you about her.”
Matt shakes his head.
“Wait…the girl from the crash? Her parents just died, and you’re going out on a date? That’s kind of messed up, man.”
I shoot him a glare. “No, I’m just going over to see her and take her dinner.” I shrug. “She doesn’t have anyone else, and I like her.”
“Meeting people at a crash is not the way I’d go to hook up with a chick, but you’ve always been different.”
I glare at him, but he spins on the stool and shoots me smirk.
“I’m not going to try and explain. Can you finish cleaning and lock up?”
“Yeah, of course.” He nods to my foot. “No more boot?”
“Naw, it was annoying me. I can handle a little bit of pain.”
He shakes his head. “Yeah, pretty sure that’s not the point.”
I smile, shrugging on my black, leather jacket.
“You going to have some ideas to show me tomorrow? I’d like to get your work up on the wall for people to start choosing you.”
“I don’t know, man. Am I ready?”
“Stop second-guessing yourself, you know you’re fucking good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I slip out into the darkening sky. Heavy, wet snow is already making the streets a mess.
It takes thirty-six minutes to get to Eden’s neighborhood. Pulling into the driveway, I park and grab the bag of groceries that I picked up at lunch. My mood lifts as soon as I step up onto the porch and see Eden through the bay window that looks into the livingroom. She is on the couch reading.
I don’t bother knocking. Instead, I use the key to unlock the door so she doesn’t have to get up.
Eden looks up as I walk in.
“Hey there.” I hold up the bag. “I brought you some groceries.”
“Felix…I wasn’t expecting you.” She looks at the door. “Did I not lock the door again?”
I shrug out of my jacket and take off my boots before wandering closer. I don’t like the expression on her face today. She looks suspicious, like she’s worried. She has nothing to worry about from me.
I leave the bag on the front hall table and then sit beside Eden.
“You look upset. Is something wrong? Did something happen at physio? I kept checking my texts to see if you sent anything.”
Eden sets her book aside and crosses her arms. I take note of the book and who the author is.
“Physiotherapy was fine, but I am upset.”
“Oh?”
“I got a call from the funeral home today. They wanted me to know that they were able to get the sunflowers for the arrangements.”
“That’s great. Elosie was pretty sure she could,” I say, happy that they’re able to get what Eden will find perfect for the arrangements.
I place my hand on her leg and rub my thumb back and forth.
“Felix…you never told me you made arrangements for my parents’ funeral. You didn’t even tell me that the service is on Saturday. It’s a huge overstep even if you are trying to help. Even Kyle thought so.”
At the mention of her so-called friend’s name, my blood boils. I can picture his smug face as he complains about me. He probably went so far as to tell her to stay away from me. Fucker.
“I meant to tell you.” Despite the rage filling me, I keep my voice calm and gentle.
“The point is you shouldn’t have done it.”
I sigh and nod, then turn my hand over, giving her the option to take it. Eden finally relaxes and does just that.
“You’re right, I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry the funeral home blindsided you.
I really was going to tell you when I got in the car, but you were still so upset, and then yesterday your friends were here—no, there is no excuse.
I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to overstep.
I just wanted to make this a little easier.
Here, let me get the paperwork for you.”
I go to stand, but Eden holds my hand.
“No…not yet. Give me a minute.”
I sit back down as close as I can, loving that she leans into me.
“You told me so much about your parents. I promise that I chose everything with them in mind. I just couldn’t see them wanting their only daughter to plan their funeral.
All of this is so stressful and when I went in that day, Eloise, said they were very busy because of the crash.
If decisions weren’t made right away that it could be weeks before they could fit your parents in. I knew you wouldn’t want that.”
Eden chews her bottom lip, and I can’t help but stare. My heart pounds faster with every slight movement.
“Kyle says it’s weird,” she blurts out.
“What is?”
“That you’re here. That you’re helping me. That you’re the one who made the arrangements instead of someone who knew my family better.”
The anger glows brighter and pools in my stomach, but I don’t let it show on my face.
Kyle needs to stay out of my way and away from what’s mine.
She says they are friends, but I’m a guy, and the looks he gives her…
that’s not fucking platonic. I really don’t like it when people stick their noses where they don’t belong.
“Do you think it’s weird? Yours is the only opinion I care about.”
Eden lifts her shoulder slowly. “A little, I guess.”
I drop my head to gaze down at our joined hands.
“Eden…maybe it is, and I’m sure that Kyle means well, but he wasn’t there. He didn’t see what we saw. He didn’t experience the fear and the carnage and the loss.” My thumb runs over the back of her hand.
I look into her amber eyes that warm me from the inside out.
“I do. We do. We are the only ones who know what it’s like. We have a connection that can’t be broken. Do you think I mean you harm?”
“No, I think you want to help me.”
Trauma is a brutal kind of glue. It binds people together with blood and memory.
“I do,” I say, squeezing her hands. “That’s all I want. But I’ll stop if you really want me to. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
Eden swallows and slowly shakes her head. The constrictive weight sitting on my chest eases.
“Good, neither do I.”
Leaning forward, I cup her cheek and love how her skin pinks under my touch. She tilts her head into my hand like it’s second nature, and my lip twitches.
“Let me show you what I got at the store, and then I’ll tell you all about what I chose for the ceremony Saturday. I promise we can change anything you feel isn’t perfect. Okay?”
Eden nods, and my heart soars, but darkness clouds my mind. Kyle is putting doubts in my Pretty Thing’s head.
That is a problem.
I can’t have that.
We can’t have that.