Chapter 42
forty-two
. . .
Eden
I’ve taken Felix up on his offer for a day off.
But now I’m pacing, thinking nonstop, and randomly breaking down into tears.
I’ve forced myself to go right back to the crash and replay every moment we’ve shared. Every touch, kiss, and word spoken.
There is nothing that screams killer, but…he has never told me how he got into my house the night he brought over food. I’ve never asked him about cleaning my house after I told him to leave and watched him go. No one else would have come back into the house to clean.
It was sweet, but…a blatant overstep and invasion of personal space. Not to mention my trust.
What bothers me the most is the truth about Sam.
I understand being scared, but he knows me. He says he does anyway, so he should know that I’ll never turn him away over his grief. I don’t think it’s strange at all that he drove around with his brother’s ashes.
Why haven’t I pushed him more on any of this?
The answer is obvious. Because it’s easier to let him help, and I still want his help. Being here with him is easy and comforting, but that doesn’t mean I can ignore all the other stuff.
Is he a killer?
I don’t think so, but something isn’t right, and all the questions I don’t want to look at too closely are now giant waving red flags.
When I hear his feet on the stairs, I grab my book and sit down on the couch.
Felix smiles as he enters the room.
God, he is so sexy, and I love it when he gazes at me like I’m his entire world. I genuinely don’t know what my life looks like without him in it now. His warm eyes make me feel so guilty.
I despise the twisted feeling in my gut and that I’m second-guessing him at all.
“Hey there, Pretty Thing. You’re looking scrumptious sitting there,” he says, walking over.
I tip my head up, and he leans down to kiss me.
“How are you doing today?”
“I’m sad. I can’t believe that in less than two months I’ve lost my parents, my home, and now one of my best friends. One in death and the other…I don’t know what I’d consider what’s going on with Kris.”
Felix presses his lips in a hard line and looks away, but not before I catch the flicker of anger. It can’t hurt to push him a little.
“I wish you’d gotten a chance to get to know Kyle better. He was a really good guy. Funny, smart, and a great athlete. He wanted to do a mountain bike race.”
Felix’s face hardens before he walks into the kitchen.
“Oh yeah? That’s a shame.”
He can’t seem to hide his annoyance when I talk about Kyle.
“Kris thinks he’s being set up.”
“I think Kris is looking for an excuse. She’s desperate to explain away her brother’s actions, so she is inventing a boogeyman.” Felix says.
I get up and follow him into the kitchen.
He opens the fridge and pulls out everything to make a ham sandwich.
“Do you want a sandwich,” he asks, still not looking at me.
“Yeah, that would be great, thank you,” I say, and the ticking in his jaw stops.
“Felix…what if Kyle really is being set up? What if someone tried to do that to me, or you, or…”
He looks up at me and licks some mustard off his thumb. It’s sexy as hell and momentarily derails my thoughts.
“That will never happen.”
“How can you be so sure?” I wrap my arms around myself.
“Because I’ll never allow it. I’ll always protect you.”
“But what if you can’t stop it? The police think there was more than one person, and if so…why target Kyle?”
“Eden…I will never, and I mean never, let anyone hurt you or come between us,” he says, voice so lethal that I swallow hard.
“What will you do?”
He lifts a shoulder and lets it drop before turning back to the sandwiches.
“Whatever I have to,” he says, and my heart hammers inside my ribcage.
I wet my suddenly very dry lips. “That sounds a little drastic,” I say, and he hits me with a stare as cold as ice, stopping my heart altogether.
“Eden…nothing is ever too drastic when it comes to keeping you safe. You are the single most important person in my life. I will do whatever is necessary to protect you always.”
We stare at one another, and I don’t want to believe Kris, but in this moment—the look he’s giving me—I can see it. I feel the steely wrath barely contained beneath the surface of his calm demeanor. Felix is…deadly.
He turns and gives me his full attention. “Eden…I will die before I let anything happen to you.”
His hand curls into a fist, jaw set like he’s ready to take on the whole world right this moment.
And now that I can see it…part of me loves that he will protect me at all costs.
But to what extent? Do I even really want to know?
Then he smirks and the tension breaks.
“I doubt we need to worry about this. Whatever Kyle was into…it won’t touch us.”
He finishes making the sandwiches and holds one out for me. I’m suddenly not very hungry, but I take a bite.
Felix tilts his head as he inspects me. The bread scratches on the way down my throat as I swallow.
“Eden, please stop worrying about this. We don’t do or sell drugs. Why would whoever killed Kyle come for us? Makes no sense.”
“Yeah…I guess you’re right.”
“What’s with all the questions?”
“I’m just trying to make sense of this, I guess. I’m worried about Kris. I love her. Kris and I grew up like sisters. It will break my heart if the person, or persons, who murdered Kyle go after her. You know?”
Felix stares at the floor and nods.
“Yeah, I can see that. Well, hopefully she keeps her nose out of whatever it was that got Kyle killed.” He glances at the time. “I have to get going, but how about we do steak for dinner? A proper date and something to take your mind off all the dark stuff.”
Felix walks over and kisses the top of my head. Despite all my doubts, I want to lean into him and hold him.
“I love you,” he whispers, and before I can summon my voice, he walks away.
Felix’s responses to my questions are reasonable. For every question, he came back with a logical, comforting answer.
So why don’t I feel better?
He has told me over and over that he will do anything to protect me, and I believe him.
Was Kyle dangerous? Is Kris?
Or is Kris right, and Felix is the danger?
Jumping up, I tiptoe to the door and open it just a crack. No sound or sight of him. He’ll be in the shop for at least an hour, maybe longer. That gives me some time to look for answers.
I can’t bury my head in the sand. If Felix killed Kyle, surely there will be something linking him to it. Best case, I find nothing, and I can tell Kris I’m done listening to her conspiracy theories. Worst case, I find something that paints Felix as a villain.
I don’t even want to contemplate that scenario.
Starting with the easy stuff, I open drawers and cupboards and look behind pictures.
Then I freeze. Shit.
Felix is smart, and if he’s hiding something from me, it won’t be anywhere mundane.
The locked door in the closet.
Adrenaline races through my body as I walk into the bedroom and push all the clothes aside so I can see the secret door clearly. The lock requires a key.
I haven’t come across any so far, but that doesn’t mean it’s not here.
My search begins again as I turn the place inside out, trying to find a needle in a haystack. I open the front hallway closet and jump when I knock over something metal.
The crowbar lies on the floor where it landed. Reaching down, my trembling fingers wrap around the cold steel, and I pick it up. This will work.
Thump, thump, thump.
My heart is a drum inside my ears as I head back to the bedroom. I pause, staring at the lock. If I do this, there is no hiding it. No going back.
If there is nothing in here, I will have to look Felix in the eye and tell him that I doubted him once again. I’ll feel the weight of that guilt for the rest of my life.
I look at my shaking hands.
Can I really live not knowing?
The answer is no. I can’t be with Felix if I can’t trust him. I need to know. I have to be certain.
Slipping the flat edge of the crowbar behind the metal, I put all my weight into it. My arm aches, and my ribs remind me that they aren’t yet fully healed. I don’t stop until one of the little screws holding the latch to the door pops free, then I take a moment to catch my breath.
It could be a minute or an hour. The adrenaline in my system is warping my sense of time.
Finally, the metal gives, and the lock and latch hang uselessly from the wall. I wipe the back of my brow with my hand and shake out my throbbing arm.
Still holding the crowbar, I grip the indentation and pull, but it doesn’t move. Time to push. It opens with a soft whoosh when it brushes the floor, then the lights turn on.
The crowbar falls with a clunk.
“Oh my god.”
It’s a shrine to…me.
A desk with three computer monitors is in the center of the room. That can be explained easily enough. However, the walls are literally papered in my face. Pictures of me cover every available surface.
I step closer and stare wide-eyed at the date pinned above images of me from grade nine, including my yearbook photo. There are pictures of me in class from outside a window, performing in the play, at the park, and eating lunch with Kris.
Right beside it are grades ten, eleven, and twelve. My graduation portrait and snapshots with my parents. He even has me out on my awkward date with Kyle. He knew who Kyle was and our history all along.
My pulse gets louder. There is no way that he can have these…unless…he has been in my room and in my life for years.
Splashed across a group of pictures are random likes and other facts: Loves turtles, the color turquoise, the sea, animals, and coffee with cinnamon. Her birthday is on Christmas, bakes with her mother, and she watches movies with her father.
There is a bookshelf with all my favorite books as well as all my school’s yearbooks.
I pull one free with shaking fingers and flip it open.
This is mine. Not just a random copy but mine.
All the signatures from my friends are in here.
I flip to the page that would normally have my photo and it’s been cut out. My eyes snap to the wall…it’s a match.
The book falls from my hands to the floor.