Chapter Summary
C.J. Sweet
In this chapter, we look back on Jay’s dark childhood. We don’t know her age, but she is young. The flashback takes place weeks after she was trafficked. Beginning with Jay playing a game with the nameless prisoner. She gives him a name—Mylos—one she’s overheard others use.
When he stops playing, she daydreams of a better life, staring at her baby photo. She is caught with it by the man she is told to call Master who lets her keep it. Yet she was able to keep it throughout her life.
Master brings Jay to get a physical from a doctor before her first dog fight at the Pound, an arena where the only way out is death. As a child would be, she is scared but is too fearful to speak up. After the checkup is complete, the doctor informs Master Jay is cleared to fight.
Master feeds Jay a small piece of food and tells her that if she wants more, she needs to win.
When the doctor leaves her and Master alone, he pulls out a small glass bottle of performance enhancers and a syringe to inject into Jay.
She is exposed to Master’s manipulative behavior by the way he talks to her and treats her.
This manipulation creates an understandably confusing trauma bond for Jay.
She enjoys that Master is making her laugh and doing silly things like roaring loudly together.
He cheers her on and makes her think that someone believes in her, which only motivates her to want to make him proud.
This scene ends with her being determined to win.
***
In the next scene, Jay is pulled through a tunnel to a colosseum while chained to a metal crash cart. Master uses kid-friendly language such as the crash cart is a “prop” like in a play as the display is for show.
They reach the end of the tunnel where a rusted gate is drawn to the top. On the other side is an arena, which does not have a ceiling. Jay notices the starry night sky and notes it as the first time she has been outside since she was trafficked.
A boy a few years older than her, referred to as Stone Cold Jones, is introduced as the reigning champion, her opponent.
When Jay is announced, the crowd boos. During their cheers for Stone Cold Jones—dog barks and howls—Jay notices how poorly the sounds are imitated and suspects the crowd may be human.
The fight’s rules are simple: guard your teeth when biting because there’s no medical team if one breaks. They are also restricted from shifting into their wolf until the second round.
When the bell rings, Jay tries to reason with Jones, but he pops her in the nose. Reality hits her: there is no talking her way out of this. She is going to have to kill or be killed.
After the first round, her Master is disappointed with her performance, indicating he has a lot of money on this match.
When the break ends, the announcer tells her and Jones to choose their form—human or wolf—for the second round. Jones chooses to fight in his human form. Jay’s wolf then urges her to choose her wolf. She does. And the second round begins.
***
Later that night
When the match is over, Jay is back in the cage. She was horrified to see the tiny coffin and how Jones’s corpse was treated.
After the match, Mylos congratulates her. From their exchange, she learns the ring is called the Pound. She sobs. The guy tells her to cheer up because she won. But Jay finds no comfort—killing someone doesn’t feel like success.
Master tosses a first aid kit to Jay. Master praises her for how much money she made him and is told she will be rewarded with a steak dinner. She doesn’t recognize her own body, like it doesn’t belong to her.
She has a panic attack and hyperventilates. Pain seizes Jay’s chest. She drops to her knees in prayer, begging the Moon Goddess to forgive her, not hate her, end the punishment and stop the pain.
She doesn’t find release until she cuts herself. The pain stops, and she believes it’s no coincidence, that her only atonement is through her own suffering.
***
In this scene, Jay is presumed to be pubescent who has had years of matches since her first. She talks about ways her first win has affected her: the Pound stopped referring to her as Bait or Prey and instead has started to call her Junkyard Jay—the Monster.
Additionally, she has been profitable enough for the Pound that her matches has increased to one almost every week.
The only time she is not fighting is when she is recovering.
Jay explains her recovery as staying in wolf form, since seeing her unmarked body only reminds her of the trauma, and that she lived while someone else died. Then she gets the urge to cut herself.
She reflects on her performance, which has gained the black market’s attention and is bringing in enough money that the Pound is expanding its staff.
While Master is a manipulative person and Jay briefly mentions that she sees this, she notes him to be the lesser of two evils. Master hires others to assist.
With him around less often, it leaves Jay her vulnerable.
The people he hires end up having an interest in her, and she mentions that they sexually abuse her.
She talks about wanting to engage in genital mutilation.
She says that she does one time and mentions how some things you can’t cut deep enough make yourself feel better.