Chapter Fifty
Jay
Out of anger and pettiness, I find Jemma outside her home, hunched on her knees, weeding and tending to her garden. I approach her and ask, “What do you know about the Hunt?”
Jemma jumps. “Oh, good goddess!” She glances over her shoulder at me. “Don’t sneak up on me like that. My ticker can’t take it.” She holds her chest, taking deep breaths as she calms her racing heart.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” I say.
“It’s alright. What was your question again?” She squints up at me from the sun in her eyes, creating a visor with her hand.
“I was wondering what you could tell me about the Hunt.”
She pivots into a squat, tending the garden.
“The Hunt, huh?” She inspects her plants.
“The Hunt has been around long before me. It was created to preserve ancestral powers. Since powers only pass to the firstborn, it’s important to have as many generations at a time to ensure a secure line.
Once that ancestral power is gone, there’s no getting it back.
No matter how many pups you have, only the firstborn can receive the gift.
The sooner that first born becomes an adult and procreates, the more secure a power in a family line is. ”
“Can I ask you something personal? Do you regret not taking a mate?”
She stops. “You know, you’re the first person to ask me that.
” She stands and brushes the dirt off her hands and sighs.
“Sometimes, sure. But mostly, no. I wanted my fated mate. I know you can be just as happy with a chosen and most people are too afraid to admit it, but it’s not the same.
I didn’t want to feel like I was settling.
I didn’t want to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone.
Or take someone from someone else for that matter. ”
Is that what I would be doing if I joined the hunt? Would I be settling?
“To each their own, though. People have their reasons for choosing to mate—valid reasons. It’s just that none of them applied to me.
I didn’t feel like I had to have pups. I raised ’Laina and trust me, she was no picnic.
” Jemma snorts. “I like my life and wouldn’t mind sharing it, but I don’t feel any less fulfilled in my own company. ”
“I know you raised the queen, but why did she get placed under your care?”
“Laina’s mother, Emilia, was a rogue. Like you. She came here seeking asylum. Alpha Jack allowed her to stay if she agreed to rehabilitate and join Bloodhound as a pack member after her probation. I took her in.”
I caught the was.
“What happened to her?”
“She died giving birth.”
“But Alaina had her father, right?”
“She knew King Ash for a short time. Less than a year. She didn’t really know him. Her father just passed recently. King Ash. Colin killed him.”
I wince. How much destruction did he cause?
Maybe Alaina and I have more in common than I thought. I assumed that, with her being queen, she probably lived this fantastical and lavish lifestyle. It sounds like she was just as alone as I was—at least until she found her mate.
Does that mean there’s hope for me?
“Is she happy?” I ask, hopeful.
“She’s the happiest I’ve ever seen her. Dax coming for her at the Hunt was the best thing to ever happen to that girl. She was against the idea of going to another pack at first, I know she wanted to stay here.”
“Why?”
Who wouldn’t want to live at a castle and be royalty?
“I know it might be hard to believe, but it can be just as uncomfortable having things as it is to not have things.”
“How so?”
“It’s scary to have something to lose. Something someone can take.
Someone who can leave. Part of the reason Laina struggled so much to let Dax in was her fear that he wouldn’t stay if she did .
. . and I guess it’s also because Bloodhound was all she’d ever known.
And all she ever thought things would be.
Change and taking a leap of faith is hard.
But now she wouldn’t change what she found at Crescent pack for the world. ”
“What did she find?”
Jemma looks at me and smiles softly. “Family.”
Her story gives me hope. Jemma doesn’t know it, but it’s exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve been a rogue practically my entire life. I’ve been kept, had, used and discarded. It’s always been me versus the world. Choosing a different path for myself is scary but also thrilling.
I could choose to be more. I could have more. I could have a mate, a pack and a family all my own if I choose to attend the Hunt. But that would mean giving up Caleb.
Am I prepared to do that?