Chapter 3 #2
“It’s far more exciting than how I’ve been spending my time here.” A distant look crossed Ariel’s face. Joline was afraid she said something wrong, but how could she have? They were just discussing shopping.
“What’s wrong?”
Ariel sighed. “I have to ask permission to leave campus.”
“That’s pretty normal around here; don’t feel bad.
If your doctor doesn’t let you leave, we can find something fun to do here.
They just started a weekly game night.” Huggie Gibeault, the Campus Activities Coordinator, created new events for patients, staff, and cadets to have a chance to mingle and meet others.
Joline found them a great way to meet new people and take a break from her grueling schedule...
when she had the courage to go alone, which she often didn’t.
This was her second year, and she still felt shy around almost everyone.
Yet, somehow, that feeling melted around Ariel.
“When’s game night? It could be our backup plan in case my warden doesn’t let me leave.”
Joline laughed. “Sounds like a plan. Game night is every Friday, so you have some time to ask.” Joline looked down at Ariel’s full plate. She couldn’t help it. “It’s got to be hard having people tell you what you can and can’t do. I’d be a little depressed.”
“Depressed? I’m not depressed.” Ariel nearly spat the words.
Joline raised an eyebrow. She didn’t intend to strike a nerve. “I didn’t say you were. I was musing about how I would feel if I had someone telling me what to do.” She shrugged to show it didn’t really matter.
Ariel huffed. “I’m sorry. I’m easily defensive.
I’m trying to work on that.” She looked down at her plate as if finally noticing she hadn’t eaten a thing.
“I probably am a little depressed, if I am brave enough to admit it. I’ve been through a lot of changes recently.
Some days I’m not sure I know up from down.
” She locked her green eyes on Joline. Goosebumps erupted down her arms. Ariel was pretty.
Very pretty. And her eyes seemed to see right through you, but in a good way that left Joline nearly breathless.
The green of her eyes matched the color of new leaves on a fresh spring day.
Or the deep waters of a murky pond when the sun’s rays hit the surface just right. Her eyes reminded Joline of home.
“You don’t have to apologize,” Joline whispered, trying to catch her breath.
“But I do. And I need to think before I speak.”
“If you are depressed, maybe getting out will help. And, like I said, even if you can’t leave campus, game night should be fun.
They say they have a ton of games to choose from.
I’ve been trying to get my roommate to go with me, but we don’t share many similar interests.
” Joline didn’t think her roommate liked her very much, but that could also be her anxiety talking.
Ariel pushed the food around her plate as if it disgusted her.
With a sigh, she took a small forkful of salad.
She took a delicate bite, reminding Joline of a child forced to eat her vegetables.
Joline followed suit, nearly inhaling her meatless meatballs.
She didn’t realize how hungry she was. As Ariel took another nibble, Joline pulled a book out of her sack and started reading as they continued to eat in silence.
It was comfortable not feeling the pressure to talk. Even Ariel seemed to relax a bit.
Ariel took a bite of her hamburger. “Mmm. I forgot how good meat is.”
Joline chuckled. “The meatless meatballs aren’t bad either. My animal side usually dictates what I crave for some reason.” She shrugged, not being sure if that was odd.
“Me, too. Except I am not a fan of bugs, so I eat other certified non-shifter protein. I think I’ve worked out a compromise with my animal side.”
“It can be hard to go against your instincts,” Joline noted, remembering how her stomach reacted the first time she tried to eat meat.
Though not all shifter diets were restricted by their animal type, some were.
Joline wasn’t sure if the difference was one’s genes or personality. “I also love hanging out in trees.”
“Porcupines climb?”
“We’re good climbers.” Joline loved bragging about her animal talents. While a porcupine may not make the ‘Eh Team, she thought they were a pretty cool animal. Though she may be biased. Just a little. “We’re in the rodent family. I think they sometimes get a bad rap.”
“I can understand that. I’m a shrew. We’re not rodents, but the school bully used to call me Ratiel. Nothing against rats, but…” She looked down at her tray as if unsure how to finish.
“Without caring to learn more about your animal, they lumped you into a category that didn’t fit, just to be cruel.
” Joline shook her head. “Kids can be so mean.” Some neighborhood kids teased her little brother, calling him Porky the Porcupine because he was a little overweight.
They hurled their own inventive insults at her when she tried to shoo them off.
“What are you reading?” Ariel asked, nodding to Joline’s book.
“An Introduction to Explosives. I’m hoping to get into the Advanced Explosives class next year with Professor Firestone.” Joline wasn’t sure what she wanted her specialty to be as an agent, but explosions seemed cool. She figured she’d try a little of everything until she found her niche.
“Whoa!” Ariel’s eyes lit up. “They teach you to blow stuff up?”
“Yeah. Sometimes it’s needed in the field.”
“I didn’t know this place was that cool. They seem kind of uptight to me.” Joline must have had some sort of a look on her face because Ariel quickly added, “It could be because I have a lot of restrictions.”
“It could be hard to get used to, especially if you didn’t choose to come here.”
“What do you mean by that?” Ariel sighed, probably noting the harsh tone of her voice. “I mean—” She appeared to be fumbling with her words, probably trying to find a different way to phrase it.
“I’m a cadet; I’m here by choice, but not everyone is. Aren’t you a patient?”
“I guess you could say that. I see Dr. Brown practically monthly, and between group and individual counseling, I’m doing some form of therapy four times a week.” Ariel looked down at her food as if uneasy about something.
Joline wasn’t sure why Ariel reacted that way.
She sounded like a patient to her. And while she didn’t dodge the question, she didn’t fully explain her confusion—or offense—either.
Maybe she didn’t like the label “patient.” Joline wanted to ask her what she’d prefer as a designator, but decided not to pry.
Ariel had a right to her privacy. If there was something she didn’t want to share, she didn’t have to.
“Well, in any case...” Jolie shrugged as if to reassure Ariel it isn’t that big a deal either way.
“I guess I’ve just never thought of myself that way.
” Her brow wrinkled as if a concerning thought had passed through her mind.
“I really need to go. I have a standing appointment with Agent Stone. I’ve been…
He’s asking me questions about a case, even though I’ve not been all that helpful.
” A rosy blush crept across Ariel’s golden skin.
“I’m sure you’re doing the best you can,” Joline offered. She didn’t want Ariel to feel bad about something she couldn’t help.
“But I’m not.” She dropped her fork on her tray.
“I’m not trying at all. Unless you count trying to be difficult.
” She gave a dark laugh. Joline hated to admit that it sent a shiver down her spine.
She figured Ariel had some issues, but maybe she was more complicated than Joline anticipated.
Joline hoped she wasn’t biting off more than she could chew by trying to be her friend.
“Maybe that’s part of the healing process. Or something you can bring up in therapy. If you want,” she added quickly, not wanting it to come off like she was telling Ariel what to do.
Ariel shook her head. “I just wish I wasn’t so confused all the time. My mind is swimming.” She put a hand to her forehead as if it could slow the racing thoughts inside.
“If you ever want to talk to someone who isn’t a therapist, I’ll be around.” Joline gave a supportive smile. While it wasn’t her job to fix Ariel, she could support her through her healing journey.
Ariel nodded. “I’ll try to be here tomorrow around five again for dinner. This was… nice.” She offered a small smile, though it didn’t reach the corners of her eyes. Joline thought Ariel looked exhausted. And without another word, she picked up her tray of half-eaten food and left.
Joline wondered what was on Ariel’s mind. She was clearly weighed down with something. She just hoped Ariel would be able to free herself from her burden.
She thought back to what Ariel said before she left.
This was… nice. While she said it as a compliment, it also sounded like she was surprised.
Joline wondered what the shrew shifter went through.
So many possibilities swarmed Joline’s mind that she decided she’d never be able to guess.
But there was one thing Joline was sure of: whatever Ariel had gone through, she must have been lonely.
Joline understood that feeling all too well.