Chapter 7
It had been almost a full day since Ariel had confessed her dark past to Joline at her tree.
She had feared that Ariel would have been embarrassed about it and wouldn’t show up to dinner, but she’d been pleased to be wrong.
The moment she’d stepped away from the food line and looked around for a place to sit, she’d caught sight of Ariel, who’d enthusiastically waved her over to the table she was already sitting at.
Her excitement about the fact that Ariel had shown up for dinner dimmed when she read over the flyer Ariel had handed her. “What is this?”
“A club I’m starting. For all former experiments of Dr. Grimm.” Ariel beamed at Joline, looking proud of herself.
Joline knew the name Grimm. He was a notorious experimenter, with many labs raided and many experiments rescued and brought to FUCN’A.
While Ariel hadn’t stated who she worked for, Joline was pretty sure that this flyer revealed it.
She packed that information away—not wanting to delve too deeply into her feelings about a growing friendship with someone who had formerly helped out one of the worst-of-the-worst.
“I was hoping you’d come to the group,” Ariel said after giving Joline a moment to read.
“But I was never an experiment of anyone.”
“I know. But you’re my friend, or the closest thing I have to one around here, so I want you to be there.
” Ariel’s eyes darted between Joline’s face and the table, as though it took all the courage she had to admit such a thing.
Joline couldn’t help but warm at the embarrassing admission, though, as she herself felt similarly towards Ariel.
“But it’s a peer-led support group, and I’m not a survivor of Grimm…
won’t that be a problem?” Joline asked. She didn’t want to take the wind out of Airel’s sails, but she wanted the club to be fair to the others who may be there.
This seemed like a big step for Ariel. Before last night, Joline didn’t think Ariel would have ever admitted she was a former experiment.
“Well, it’s my club, so, no.”
“Won’t the other members mind?”
Ariel shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s their problem, if they do.”
Joline put a hand on Ariel’s arm. “I’m willing to go and support you, and I think this is a great idea, but check with the others first to make sure it’s okay.
I know it’s your club, and they’ll probably be fine with it, but it’s polite to ask first instead of assuming.
” She hoped Ariel didn’t think she was treating her like a child, but taking others’ feelings into consideration might not be one of Ariel’s strong suits.
Joline shuddered, knowing from her classes that this was something that many of the rescued experiments struggled with, after spending so much time just trying to survive.
It was something that had been figuratively beaten out of them while in captivity. Sometimes literally.
Ariel nodded her head, not looking the least bit offended. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She glanced down at her plate of spaghetti. “I’m not used to thinking about how other people will feel about things. Or caring about it.” If Joline didn’t know better, she’d say Ariel looked a little dejected.
She waved a hand at her friend. “Don’t worry about it. You’re getting used to being out of the lab. There’s going to be a learning curve.”
“I wish the rest of my therapy group agreed. They seem to think I should be un-brainwashed by now.” Ariel looked down at her tray, pushing the meatless meatballs around in her pasta.
Joline paused, taking a moment to smile to herself at the realization that Ariel had taken her recommendation for the meatless meatballs, before taking a bite of her salad. Once she finished her bite, she said, “I thought they taught that everyone heals at their own pace.”
“I guess that’s okay for everyone but me,” Ariel said with a sigh. Her shoulders hunched forward. “I’m apparently taking too long.”
“Who told you that?”
“Someone from group.”
“Well, that person is entitled to their feelings on the situation, but it doesn’t mean they’re right about it.
Were you able to find your counselor last night?
” Joline wondered what had sparked this change in Ariel since the last time they’d talked.
It was a big step that not only had she brainstormed the support group idea, but she also had made up handouts, and likely distributed them throughout the day.
That was far more optimistic and engaged than she’d been the night before.
Ariel shook her head. “She was already gone for the day. I ran into the person from group instead.” She bit her lip. “I’m not supposed to share names.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to. Maybe this person was trying to push you to change or just really felt the need to share with you their frustration that you’re not healing at the same pace as the others. Whatever their reason, they’re not taking your feelings into consideration, and it’s not fair.”
Ariel gave a shy smile. “How did you get so good at talking to people about feelings and things?”
“I’ve been a big sister for a long time. My brother needed a lot of support growing up.” Joline noticed Ariel’s face crumple as a wave of sadness passed over it. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No.” Ariel sighed and plopped a meatless meatball in her mouth, chewing quickly before continuing.
“My brother was a little like that himself. Maybe it’s time for me to finally talk to him.
Well, there’s probably a patient I need to chat with, too.
I owe her an apology. Heck, there’s probably a lot of apologies I need to give out. ”
“Take your time,” Joline soothed, knowing none of that would be as easy as it might sound. There was a lot of hurt done, and everyone reacted in their own ways to apologies. “Remember that actions speak louder than words. Starting this group is a good step to take.”
“And asking them before I bring in a non-survivor is a good way to show that I’m thinking about them. Thank you for suggesting it.” She smiled. “These meatballs are good, by the way. Thank you for the recommendation.”
“Anytime! I’m glad you like them.” Joline watched Ariel as she devoured her food. At least she finally got her appetite back. Joline figured that was a good sign.
As if noticing Joline watching her, Ariel explained, “Shrews need to eat a lot of calories. I’ve not had much of an appetite lately. I probably should slow down, or I’ll make myself sick.”
“No worries. I was just thinking how good it was to see you eating today. You didn’t seem all that hungry yesterday.”
Ariel nodded. “I wasn’t.”
Joline smiled, then dipped her head as her heart jumped a little. She was so glad that Ariel had shown up for dinner, and even more pleased she wanted her to join the support group. She hoped that meant it was okay to bring up the topic of doing something together over the weekend again.
Joline tapped her leg with apprehension. She didn’t want to take away from Ariel’s excitement over her newly formed club, but she had to ask, “Did you ask whoever you need to if you can go to town with me this weekend?”
“No.” Joline’s heart dropped as Ariel shook her head. “Not because I didn’t want to ask, I’m just not sure if that’s a question for my counselor or the agents in charge of me.”
“Oh, okay.” Joline tried not to let disappointment take over. Her reasoning made sense.
“Maybe I’ll ask them both. But..” Ariel stopped, her brow wrinkling in concern.
“I’m not sure if I deserve to go to town.
I’ve been less than forthcoming in therapy and to the agents who were asking me to help them.
That’s why I decided I want to help by starting this club, but I have no right to ask for a favor when I’m not pulling my weight. ”
Joline felt her eyes widen. “Whoever told you a thing like that?” When Ariel stared down at her plate, Joline continued, “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. It just sounds like that person wasn’t a real friend. It sounds very quid pro quo.”
“But isn’t a trade fair to ask for?”
“It may feel like it’s an even trade, but often a person in power takes advantage of someone and creates an unfair trade.
” Ariel looked confused, so Joline tried to explain it another way.
“Let’s say you’re sick and not feeling well.
I would come over and help you out, knowing you can’t do some of it yourself because you need to rest. I’m not doing that expecting you to give me something in return.
Our friendship would be enough for me. And with friends, you’d do something nice for me at some point.
But it isn’t expected. It’s given freely. ”
Ariel cocked her head sideways, her auburn hair swinging over her shoulders. “That still sounds like a trade to me.” She shrugged before polishing off her food. “Do you think they allow seconds here?”
“Of course they do.” Joline couldn’t believe that Ariel had been here a year and not known that. She’d just talked about how shrews needed a high calorie count, but this whole time she’d been deprived. “Why wouldn’t they?”
Ariel’s face blanched slightly. “You probably don’t want to know what I had to do to get seconds with Dr. Grimm.”
As Ariel left to get more food, Joline felt a tear streak down her cheek.
She wasn’t sure what was worse, hearing about the horrors that happened to Ariel, seeing her not fully realize just how bad they were, or knowing that Ariel was so accustomed to bad treatment that she just assumed FUC would be the same.
At least Ariel was starting to recognize it all now.
Joline helped open that door for her. Guilt stabbed at Joline’s stomach. What if Ariel wasn’t ready for it?
Ariel came back with a full tray and a smile on her face. “They even let me have an extra piece of garlic bread.” When she caught Joline wiping at her face, she asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I just feel awful about what happened to you.”