Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Austin
Oh god, no. No, no, no.
I immediately went to the edge, barely breathing as shouts boomed around me and strangers rushed outside. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t fucking breathe. My head kept spinning as I stared at him, but then a moan parted his lips.
“Did you fucking push him?” a man called up.
“What?” I squeezed out.
“I heard them arguing about some woman,” the stranger said to another person. A crowd was starting to form.
No. I would never do that. I would never push someone off a roof—
“What the hell is going on?” Mateo’s voice was like a splash of cold water in the face. I spotted him and Dallas coming through the gate, sirens swelling in the distance.
Then I saw Evie running across the street with June right behind her.
I had to get down. I made my way over to the ladder and climbed down quickly, trembling once my boots hit the ground. More shouts sounded, but I couldn’t catch my breath. I slumped back against the wall.
Nick had fallen off the roof, and it was my fault. I didn’t secure the scaffolding. He could have died. He could still die—what the fuck was I thinking?
A firm hand gripped my shoulder and Levi’s face appeared in front of mine. “Austin, what is going on? Are you okay?”
I heard that stranger’s voice again. The one saying I pushed Nick.
“I didn’t push him,” I rasped.
“I know that,” Levi scoffed. “Fuck. You look like you’re about to pass out. We need to get you some water.”
“I have to take groceries to my mom—”
“Austin.” Levi gave me a gentle shake. “Stop it, okay? Just stop. Come on.”
His arm slid around my waist, and I didn’t push away the support. We rounded the corner, and I went still.
Evie was bent over Nick, tears streaming down her cheeks. That one guy kept talking at the small crowd that had gathered. They were fighting over a woman.
It wasn’t true, not really. But Evie’s eyes darted up to me, and the look of betrayal on her face was a knife to the heart.
An ambulance pulled up at Mateo shouted for one of the EMS guys, directing people away. Eyes were on me, blaming. It didn’t matter that I’d told him not to climb up, this was my fucking fault.
June pulled Evie back, but she shrugged her away, marching over to me. “Did you push him?”
“What?” I breathed out.
“Evie,” Levi growled. “He would never do that.”
How could she ever believe I’d do something like that? Her eyes met mine once more, but she turned away, letting June pull her away towards the ambulance. I watched as they put Nick in a neck brace and onto a stretcher.
I was going to throw up. Levi’s hand tightened on me. “Come on.”
“I should go with them—”
“You’ve done enough,” Evie called. “Stay away, Austin.”
She really thought I’d hurt him.
Did everyone think so little of me? I pushed away from Levi, ignoring his words as I darted toward my truck. I reached for my keys, but then Mateo was there, blocking me.
“You’re not driving yourself right now,” he said seriously. “Austin, give me the keys. You’re panicking.”
I shoved him back, but he grabbed my wrist and twisted me around, putting me into a headlock. He wrenched my keys away. “I’m about two seconds from knocking you the fuck out, man,” he muttered. He released me and pushed me around toward the passenger side. “Get the fuck in the truck.”
My ears were ringing as I got into the seat. Mateo climbed into the driver’s side and started it up, backing up and whipping the truck around with ease.
“You think I did it?” I whispered.
“What? Fuck no. Of course not. Jesus.” Mateo let out a string of curses, looking over at me. “What in the hell is going on? Have you eaten or had water? You look sick.”
“I don’t know,” I whispered.
All I could think about was Nick. His body on the ground.
Evie looking at me.
She really thought I would do that.
“Just take me home,” I said. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You’re not fine at all. You’ve been hyperventilating for like the past five minutes.”
Had I? I felt numb. I felt like I’d completely lost control of my life and I had so much to do, I couldn’t even think anymore. I felt like I was sitting alone in the dark, and no matter how many times my friends tried to point me to a lighthouse, I just couldn’t find my way.
Mateo slowed as he pulled into my driveway. He turned the truck off and looked over at me, but I couldn’t look back at him.
“I’m gonna say this once,” he whispered. “I told you the other day your scaffolding was loose, and you knew about it. You knew getting up there was a risk to your life. And I thought you fixed it. But you didn’t.”
“I didn’t think anyone else would get up there.”
“And you? What about you getting up there? What if you fell off the roof and broke your neck, Austin?”
“I don’t know.”
“Fuck,” he muttered. “Dammit. I just, I . . . Why would you risk your life that way?”
“I don’t know.”
Mateo fell silent, and I felt the weight of his disappointment in me, drawing me down further and further.
“Do you think he’ll die?”
“No,” Mateo said. “Not at all. The neck brace was a precaution. I think he broke a rib or two possibly, and I think he’ll be banged up.
But he’ll be okay. You, on the other hand, I don’t know.
I don’t think you’re okay at all. I’ve known you for a long time, but you’ve hit the bottom, Austin. You can’t keep living like this.”
“I need to go inside,” I said.
“Yeah.” He didn’t give me my keys, though.
“You don’t need to stay.”
“I’m not going until you’ve eaten in front of me, had some water, and sat down on the couch. And I’d expect everyone to come by to see you.”
“Or no one,” I said. “Since apparently everything thinks I’m capable of hurting someone like that.”
“Levi didn’t think that. I didn’t either.”
“But Evie did.” I closed my eyes. I couldn’t get her expression out of my head.
“Evie heard that one asshole say something awful. She’s probably scared and confused right now. Even June looked terrified. I’m sure Nick will set the record straight. It was an accident. We all know you.”
I didn’t say anything else, but nodded as Mateo got out of the truck.
Why did every muscle suddenly feel so lethargic? I didn’t even want to move. I felt like there were weights tied around my ankles and every single step took a herculean effort.
Mateo opened my door. His mustache dipped with a serious frown. “Should I carry you?”
“No.” I finally got out and followed him inside my house.
Mateo pushed me towards the living room. “Go. Sit. Take your boots off.”
I was numb. Robotic. I did as he asked, but still couldn’t stop replaying what just happened.
It was my fault. It was my fault. And I never wanted something like that to happen, but it fell on me.
Would I ever be able to do anything right?
I wasn’t sure.
I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.