Chapter 38 #2
He sank into me again, his tears soaking through my shirt. Finally, he settled completely. Maybe he finally realized I was serious.
“I remembered something,” he murmured. “One time, when I was like fourteen, I walked into his studio. It was after you and I beat the shit out of each other.”
A smile tugged at my lips. “Fuck. I remember that.”
“Yeah. You broke my nose.”
“You broke my goddamned wrist on my jacking-off hand.”
His laugh shook him. “Sorry. Well, I went in and got blood everywhere. And he was in the middle of painting, and usually when he was doing art, I tried to leave him alone. But he looked up and saw me, and he put everything down. He helped me stop the bleeding—didn’t scold me, didn’t give me shit about fistfighting you again.
He just got me cleaned up and told me he loved me.
I don’t think he was proud of me, so that’s not why he told me he loved me. I think he just . . . did.”
I smoothed my fingers through his hair. “I know he did. I envied the hell out of your relationship with him.”
His arm slid around my waist, draping over me. “You never talk about your mom. I know she moved right before you did.”
“Yeah. I was homeless for the last three months of high school.” He started to sit up, but I scolded him by hissing between my teeth. “Don’t ruin the moment. I’m trying to be vulnerable.”
“I didn’t know.”
“No one but the school counselor and principal did. I ended up living in the car I’d bought the summer before. I made it work.”
“Fuck, Nick. Why didn’t the adults help you?”
“I was a problem child. They didn’t want a problem.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“Yeah. Maybe. But my mom just needed to get the fuck out. Didn’t even say good bye.
She left a note. And I don’t blame her, you know.
This town is so small and everyone remembers who you were, even if it’s not who you are.
She didn’t want to be a parent. She didn’t want me. And I can’t blame her. I wasn’t easy.”
“But she left you. She’s your mom—”
“She was,” I said. “I don’t speak to her anymore. I figured out how much money she spent on me between the ages five to eighteen, sent it back to her after some of my investments paid off, then told her she’d never see me again.”
I couldn’t keep him from sitting up now. He wriggled free from my arms and shot up, scowling down at me. “That’s bullshit.”
I chuckled and reached up, running my fingers through his beard. Three days of scruff looked good on him. “You get so angry for other people, and you don’t reserve a single ounce of that care for yourself.”
He grabbed my wrist and gently turned my hand. His throat bobbed as he studied it. “Which one was it?”
“The other hand,” I mumbled.
He dropped that one and picked up the others, bringing my knuckles to his lips. My heart skipped a beat as he pressed a gentle kiss over them.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know if I would have behaved differently if I would have known, and I’m sorry. You deserved better. I’m glad you’re here now, though.”
“Are you?” I murmured.
He kissed my knuckles again and a shiver of need curled through me.
“Austin,” I whispered. “Are you really glad I’m here?”
His cheeks reddened. “Yes. I am. I’m happy you’re in Whynot. I’m happy you’re with Matthew and Evie. I’m . . . possibly a little jealous.”
“Me too,” I whispered.
His eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Yeah. Really.”
That lingered between us, but then he pressed his lips together. “I probably smell awful right now.”
“You could smell worse. But also, we could take a shower. And then watch a movie.”
He raised a brow. “Are you trying to seduce me?”
“Is it working?”
“Yeah.” He kissed my hand again then released me, sitting back. “I still think I’m broken.”
“Burnout isn’t quickly fixed,” I said. “We need to figure out how to get stuff off your plate. You’re going to have to do this thing called asking for help. Maybe even, I don’t know, go to therapy.”
He made a face. “I hate that.”
“Oh I know. We’d never catch Austin Whynot asking for help from the people who love him, huh?”
His expression darkened. “I don’t like you very much. Still.”
I grinned. “Oh, so you love me?”
“Of course not,” he grumbled.
“But you want to kiss me.”
“Possibly. But only when you’re not acting like this.”
I sat up with a grin and pushed him back onto the bed. I straddled his hips and his eyes went wide. “Like what? Like this?” Something hardened beneath me and I arched a brow. “Right. Tell me again you hate me, Austin Whynot. I love it when you lie like that.”
“Fuck you,” he mumbled.
“Do you want me to?”
His cheeks were so scarlet now, it was cute. It made the freckles on his face light up. “Maybe.”
“That means you have to get out of bed.”
“No it doesn’t. Beds are made for sleeping and fucking.”
“Yeah, but I want you in the shower first. You smell like depression. I can fuck the depression out of you once you shower.”
“That’s not how depression works.”
“I know, but I can still try.” I rolled my hips, and he bit his bottom lip, his cock hardening fully against me. “Come on, napkin.”
“You can’t call me napkin,” he protested as I slid off him.
I tugged my shirt overhead as I walked towards the adjoining bathroom, letting out a soft whistle as I looked around. “You haven’t done bad for yourself, Whynot.”
I heard him behind me and smiled as he grabbed my elbow and spun me around, backing me up against the wall. Within a blink, my arms were around his neck, and his lips were on mine.
Finally.
All the years of fighting with him, and I knew his body almost as well as my own.
I tugged his hips closer to mine and groaned as his teeth scraped my bottom lip.
My kiss with him was unlike the ones with Matthew or with Evie.
It was rough and demanding and edged with a deep lust I remembered burying all those years ago.
God, it’d been easier to fight him than kiss him back then.
But things were different now.
Austin grunted as our kiss deepened, swallowing both of us whole. I grabbed the waistband of his sweats and pulled them down, his cock bouncing free as the clothes pooled at his feet. He broke the kiss with a gasp as I closed my hand around the length of him.
“Fuck.”
His fingers fumbled with my jeans, but he managed to unbutton them. I kicked them off, my cock already hard too. He let out a curse when he saw the glint of silver.
“You know, I thought Evie was fucking with me the first time she mentioned those,” he said.
“Nope,” I said as he knelt. Fuck, fuck, fuck. The sight of him getting on his knees had pre-cum dripping from my tip. He closed his hand around the base of my cock and studied the piercings, his eyes wide. “Jesus, Austin. I thought we were gonna shower.”
“We are,” he said. “I just wanted to see them up close.”
“Well they can be up close and down your throat after we shower.”
He shot me a broody look. “I don’t like the way you take care of me.”
“Yeah. Sure. I hope your shower tiles are kind to your knees, old man.”
Austin chuckled. “We’ll find out.”