Chapter Ten #3
“They say pride comes before a fall, Miss Kendall, and I have always thought dignity is overrated.”
“Maybe so, but I shall cling to mine regardless.”
“Spoilsport.”
“What bad experience?” The question popped out unbidden because she not only wanted to move the subject away from her, but because she was curious. “If it isn’t too impertinent to ask, of course?”
“Abigail fell out of a tree and broke her leg as a child. Badly. There was blood everywhere. All my fault. I was a stupid, distracted sixteen-year-old and I took my eyes off her and she nearly died as a result. Haven’t been able to abide the sight of it since.
” His nose wrinkled and he dropped the last crust of his toast before he pushed his plate away.
“Not my finest hour.” She wanted to ask for more details of that accident, especially why he blamed himself for it, but didn’t because his gaze now looked haunted enough just by the memory.
“I suppose that explains why you are so protective of your sisters now.”
“That combined with their uncanny ability to dive headfirst into trouble. They are both much too reckless and always act before they think.” Then he pinned her with his stare. “You are a girl, Miss Kendall, so you will know the answer. At what age will they grow out of it?”
“I suppose that depends very much on the person. I daresay some will always be reckless if they believe it is right to be.” Much like herself.
Portia knew all the risks associated with her involvement in the newspaper, knew how harsh the consequences could be if she ever fell foul of the law, yet took the gamble anyway.
He folded his arms, drawing her attention to the tanned skin of his forearms. “That is not the reassuring answer that I was hoping for.”
“If you had specified that my answer was meant to make you feel better, I wouldn’t have answered honestly, your grace. I shall try harder next time you ask me for my opinion to only say what you want to hear.”
“Urgh.” He huffed. “Please don’t. I get enough of that from everyone else.
Aside from my sisters, of course, or my mother.
” He pulled a face when he said the word “mother” as if she were somehow more of an irritation to him than his rebellious sisters were.
“Have you any idea how frustrating it is to be constantly fawned over and flattered? Or worse, constantly lied to by pretty much everyone who swears the oath in court to tell the truth and nothing but the truth then does nothing of the sort. Trust me, Miss Kendall, when you are burdened with the titles of both duke and magistrate, genuine honesty is a rare gift indeed. So I beg you, even if I do not like it, continue to always be completely and refreshingly honest with me.”
Guilt and shame swamped her because she could never be completely honest with him and had lied to him more times than she cared to count already.
“That won’t be hard as I am apparently very opinionated, your grace.
” That “your grace” instantly reminded her that, despite how affable and easy he was to be around, he was still both a duke and a magistrate so she probably should keep her often controversial opinions to herself.
And as such, it would not do to ever be too cozy in his company. No matter how much she was enjoying it.
“It’s late so, I’d best hide away all this evidence of your clandestine foraging before someone discovers it.
Then I shall take you to bed.” That last bit sounded like an invitation, but before Portia could correct the end of her sentence with “I shall help you back up to your bed” she was sure his gaze heated for a moment.
But then the yearning that she thought she saw—perhaps wanted to believe she saw—was gone. And he was standing.
“I can take myself, Miss Kendall, as I have importuned you enough already this evening.”
“Let me help you.” She stood too. “You are supposed to be keeping your weight off your leg.” No matter how much he had left her off-kilter, and how much more off-kilter she would be if he had to wrap his arm around her again, she did not want him to do more damage.
“No need.” He stayed her advance with a raised hand. “I managed to get down by myself, so I daresay I’ll manage to get back up myself in much the same way. It’s hideously undignified so for the sake of my manly pride, I would prefer to shuffle back up on my backside in private, Miss Kendall.”
“I thought you just said that dignity was overrated, and that pride always comes before a fall?”
“When I said that, I obviously wasn’t talking about my dignity or my pride, Miss Kendall, so I shall cling to both regardless, if you don’t mind.
” His smile was ironic. And perhaps a little wistful, as if he too knew that the pair of them really shouldn’t be enjoying one another’s company quite as much as they currently were.
“Please take your time following me up the stairs, and thank you for feeding me.”
Portia wasn’t sure if she was relieved by that reprieve or disappointed. “It was my pleasure.”
And, rather bizarrely, it was.