Chapter 37
“You are too generous to trifle with me,” he said, his words filled with an intensity which confused Elizabeth. “Tell me at once if you are attached to your cousin.”
Elizabeth was taken aback by both his words and his passion. She did not think he had the right to make such an enquiry, but as it was of no great import, she confirmed that they were not romantically attached, adding only that she did not know why it was of any interest to him.
Mr Darcy reached towards her as if to take her hand, but she stepped back before he could grasp it.
“You need not act shocked; my feelings for you have been evident to all for some time now. I have tried to overcome my attraction, knowing well that your family is not the equal of mine, but it will not do! You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
“Love me?” she said, her tone incredulous and her eyes wide in shock.
“Love me?” she repeated. “How can you– who has from the very first looked down on my family, refusing even to consider me as an adequate dance partner– say such a thing? You even declared that you would never leg-shackle yourself to such a family, and even now, as you declare yourself, you disparage my family’s connections.
You are a gentleman, and I am a gentleman’s daughter; we are therefore equal.
I have never sought your affection, and you have bestowed it most unwillingly.
I can therefore presume that this was merely a moment of madness, and you will, on thinking of it, be glad of my refusal. ”
“This is the only response I am to receive?” he asked. “Near every interaction between us, I have made clear my interest in you, yet you now declare yourself unaware of my affection. Did it give you some perverse pleasure to see me thusly rejected because I once refused to dance with you?”
“If you think that the reason, you are mistaken. I only mention it to illustrate that from the very earliest point of our acquaintance you demonstrated your ill manners and lack of consideration for the feelings of others. But I have much greater issues that formed my feelings for you. Mr Wickham...” she said, and paused to form her thoughts; she did not wish to reveal anything which would harm her sister’s reputation.
“You knew that Mr Wickham was not a man to be trusted, yet you chose to do nothing. It was only after he had left the neighbourhood that the true nature of his perfidy was revealed, but you knew it all, did you not?” she asked, and he confirmed he did.
“And more than that, do not think I am unaware of your influence on your friend Mr Bingley. My sister Jane was heartbroken,” she tried to continue, but Mr Darcy interrupted.
“Heartbroken? She has not so much as even mentioned his name, when we met either here in Kent, or in town. Yet you expect me to believe that her heart was engaged?”
“My sister does not wear her heart on her sleeve, and she is a lady. She would not be so forward as to enquire after a man she had no understanding with, and who failed to even bid her adieu when he left the neighbourhood.”
“So this is your opinion of me?” he asked, and seeing that Elizabeth had nothing to add, he merely bowed and turned to walk back to Rosings.
Elizabeth did not even reveal to Jane that Mr Darcy had proposed.
They said goodbye to their cousin the next day; it was time to return to Longbourn.
But it would not be long before they would see Mr Collins again.
For he was to come before summer to start to learn about estate management.
Elizabeth was lost in her thoughts of Mr Darcy’s proposal as the carriage reached the road which led away from Hunsford.
She was only drawn from her thoughts when, not far from Hunsford, a dark-haired man with wavy hair – on a horse that looked remarkably like Mr Darcy’s – overtook them, but Elizabeth knew it could not be he, for he had no reason to leave Kent in a rush.