CHAPTER SIX #2
The carriage of Lady Catherine approached the Parsonage around the following midday.
Lizzy, Charlotte, and Maria were engaged in light conversation and heard the thump of a piece of furniture being overturned in the study where Mr. Collins was engaged in reading.
A moment later, Mr. Collins had thrown open the door and stood breathless upon the threshold.
“Quick, Charlotte!” he called. “It is Lady de Bourgh herself!”
Charlotte leaped to her feet and joined her husband in exiting the house to greet the carriage before it came to a stop. Maria and Lizzy joined them outside.
Mr. Collins attended her ladyship like a moth to a flame, assisting her from the carriage, escorting her inside, and installing her in the best seat in the drawing-room, that she may enjoy the view out the window but not have to contend too much with the sun’s rays.
“We were to take tea at the top of the hour, if your ladyship would care to join us?” Mr. Collins offered.
Lady Catherine regarded the room with the air of a schoolmaster reviewing a composition for errors of spelling or grammar.
As her countenance was naturally a dour one, it was difficult to ascertain her thoughts.
The room must have met with her approval, however, for she made no recommendations to Charlotte and instead replied to Mr. Collins,
“I think tea would be in order.”
The delight of Mr. Collins was writ plainly upon his face as he motioned at Mrs. Collins.
Lady Catherine addressed herself mostly to Mr. Collins on matters of the parish, inquiring after his intentions for Easter service and endorsing certain passages she deemed most appropriate for the occasion, all of which Mr. Collins absorbed with the greatest rapture and repeated nodding of the head.
When tea was served, Lady Catherine at last turned her attention to the other persons in her company.
“Miss Elizabeth, I heard you had a visit with Mrs. Abby Trenwith.”
From the sides of her eyes, Lizzy could see Mr. Collins with a satisfied expression.
Without waiting for confirmation, Lady Catherine proceeded, “You should know that the company of Mrs. Trenwith is not one that will serve you well.”
“Indeed?” Lizzy replied.
The lightness of her tone seemed to rattle Lady Catherine a little. “I speak in earnest. All good society shun the woman.”
“What has she done to merit such malignancy, I wonder?”
“You need not wonder, but her grievances are not paltry.”
“In my experience, she has been nothing but amiable.”
“A simple young woman like yourself would not be wise to her arts.”
Lizzy was unsure if the adjective applied to herself was intended as a compliment, but then, she did not think she would necessarily welcome praise from Lady Catherine.
“When Mr. Collins told me that Mrs. Trenwith had stopped at the Parsonage, I had to intervene,” her ladyship continued.
“And we are fortunate to be the recipients of Lady Catherine’s time and benevolence,” Mr. Collins supported.
“Mrs. Trenwith had invited me to assist her in cataloging some books for an orphan asylum,” Lizzy explained.
Lady Catherine appeared as if she had sniffed a disagreeable odor. “Beware, child, she engages in a variety of inappropriate activities.”
Lizzy wanted to inquire how a charitable donation qualified as an inappropriate activity, but she suspected nothing Mrs. Trenwith did would earn the approval of Lady Catherine.
“Last month she was distributing leaflets advocating the abolition of slavery.”
“Do you not think slavery an institution that ought be questioned?”
Mr. Collins paled and even Charlotte, who was more accustomed to Lizzy’s attitudes, splashed the tea she had been pouring.
“If it is,” Lady Catherine said with narrowed eyes, “it is not the business of women to address such a solemn subject. It is quite unbecoming in a woman of her station and wholly improper of her to rouse the masses to attend a matter that has nothing to do with them and is above their comprehension.”
Lizzy flushed. She almost knew not which of Lady Catherine’s insults to confront first.
“Surely my lady does not think the mind of the fair sex inferior to that of a man?”
Or you would not instruct Mr. Collins half as often as you do, Lizzy added silently.
“On the whole, no,” Lady Catherine replied, “but women do have more delicate constitutions, and it is not our duty to comment on matters that are the responsibility of Parliament. Out of compassion, I did approach Mrs. Trenwith and advised her as much, but she clearly has not taken heed of what I had to say.”
Lizzy wondered if that was not Abby’s greatest offense.
“I must say she keeps an odd assortment of servants,” Mr. Collins offered.
The Indian housekeeper and butler, as well as the Chinese driver, were certainly not what Lizzy was accustomed to seeing, but their performance differed not at all from what was to be expected of a domestic.
“Yes, her late husband was known to bring settlers from China and attempt to secure employment for them with English shipping companies. He was a friend of a man named John Anthony and promoted his naturalization. Imagine! A Chinaman with all the rights and privileges of a British citizen. I find it all rather shady business.”
“Aside from her offenses of a political nature, of what other crimes is she guilty?” Lizzy asked.
The stumped look of disconcertion upon Lady Catherine convinced Lizzy that her ladyship was not aware of Mrs. Trenwith’s erotic proclivities.
“Suffice it to say that Mrs. Trenwith is a vulgar and suspect person. Only a fool or crook would seek her company.”
Mr. Collins gave an emphatic nod and echoed, “It behooves us all to discourage her association.”
Feeling the discussion to be at an end, Lady Catherine then proceeded to commend Charlotte on serving a brew that was similar to the one that she herself was partial to serving at Rosings.