CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Though overcast the following morning, the skies signified little of the rain that had beset them the past few days.
Darcy had woken early and was immediately flooded by memories of the prior evening and the young woman he had held in his arms as she recovered from the fine and pleasurable end of desire fulfilled.
He could still hear her groans. How soon they had escalated into hasty cries!
Hearing and seeing a woman brought to pleasure was incredibly satisfying.
And provocative. But his own gratification was inconsequential in his position and not to be brooked, especially at the first encounter.
“How long is she staying as your guest?” he inquired as he and Abby took breakfast at a small table before a window in a quaint parlor of the West Wing.
“She is visiting family and stayed the night because the roads were poor. Are you traveling on to Rosings to-day?”
He watched her as she poured more coffee into his cup. Though he had not been much in her company of late, he knew her well enough to discern an agitation, albeit minute.
“Yes. My effects are being prepared as we speak.”
“And you mean to quit Trenwith House this morning?”
“As early as you wish.”
“Pray do not misconstrue my question, Fitzwilliam. You know you are welcome here for as long as you wish.”
The warmth with which she smiled upon him satisfied him that she was not trying to hasten his departure. But he wondered what might be troubling her. He would not have hesitated to offer his assistance if he could.
“I take it you will not be traveling to Hertfordshire again, if Charles means to quit Netherfield, but he only recently acquired the place did he not?” she inquired with more of her customary gaiety.
“His sisters and I are persuasive.”
“Ah, and why can you not allow a grown man his own choice in property?”
He decided to confide the truth. “Charles is in love—again. But I think it shall pass, as it has before.”
He reached for a slice of toast and ham to distract from the grimness he felt, but Abby was too perceptive.
“Indeed? You do not approve of his lady of choice?”
“It is a poor match, and her family objectionable, to term it mildly.”
“But that does not trouble your friend?”
“His sisters and I are in full agreement that his attachment to Miss Bennet would only do him harm.”
Abby looked up sharply from her coffee. “What has this family done to merit such a harsh assessment?”
“Their offense is not confined to a single egregious act but several instances displaying a want of character. Fortunately, they live in Hertfordshire, and if Charles can be convinced to quit his residence there, they may not cross paths for some time, if ever.”
“Your judgment has always been sound, but does it apply to every member of the family? Surely this Miss Bennet cannot be disagreeable if Charles is partial to her?”
Darcy frowned. “Miss Bennet is quite amiable and, from what I can determine, gentle in nature, if not a touch simple. She has also a sister who is…interesting.”
“Interesting?”
He realized the error in his choice of adjectives, for women were prone to pouncing on descriptives of other women.
“Intelligent,” he corrected, then felt the need to add as many negative qualities to dampen Abby’s curiosity.
He had come to Trenwith House to forget, not expound upon, Miss Elizabeth.
“But far too at ease with her intellect, at the risk of overestimating her own abilities. And rather verbose for my taste.”
While drinking his coffee, he felt Abby’s bright, keen eyes upon him. He changed the subject, inquiring, “What is to become of your latest pupil?”
“If you are staying at Rosings a while, she can continue with you. If you are up to the task.”
He nodded. The distraction he had hoped for at Trenwith House was very promising. For the first time in many days, his first thought in the morning was not of Miss Elizabeth Bennet.
*****
The clock above the fireplace mantel chimed the noon hour, surprising Lizzy awake.
She could not remember when last she had slept till such a late hour.
Surveying her chamber at Trenwith House from her bed, she flushed in recollection of all that had transpired last night.
Had she indeed allowed a stranger to flog her?
Had she thrilled to his whipping and abandoned herself to its seductive qualities?
And had he, through the application of pain with pleasure, elicited the most violent, yet delightful, release?
She clenched her thighs in affirmation. His hand had been there, in her most private area.
Her own hand wandered to that part. How was it a man, and a stranger at that, produce a result more satisfying than her own hand?
She fingered the nub of flesh that he had so skillfully plied.
Feeling the carnal craving coming upon her, she stopped.
Though a delicious consequence had greeted her surrender yesterday, she wished to confirm she could exert control of herself and her body.
Nor could she dawdle in bed longer. What a wanton she had become!
“You are nursing a cold,” Abby defended for her when Lizzy decried the lateness of the day. “I can hear it in your voice still.”
The two women sat in the dining-room, partaking of a light meal. Having missed breakfast, Lizzy ate heartily of the bread, meat, and cheese.
“And I am pleased you slept well in an unfamiliar bed,” Abby continued. “I pray you were not awash in excessive guilt and remorse upon waking.”
Lizzy waited till the maidservant had left the room before answering, “I admit to some shock and horror at what I had done. But excessive? No. After all, I had given it sufficient thought prior to committing myself.”
“Nonetheless, emotions can and will evade prediction.”
“But regret is a rather useless sentiment. For what purpose should I bemoan that which I cannot change and which I knowingly and willfully engaged in?”
“You would not advise, if you could, your past self to desist and take a different course?”
“I would not. The lesson was…quite satisfactory.”
A broad smile spread over Abby. “I am relieved and very, very glad to hear it. Forgive my persistence, but I wanted you to be quite certain. I once had a student who had all the appearances of confidence in what she did, only to suffer a severe case of buyer’s remorse the following day, lamenting that she had committed some great sin and could never again look her family in the eyes with honesty.
Contrary emotions are to be expected, and the first lesson is always the most awkward. ”
Lizzy blushed. “Your appointed instructor had a reassuring way about him.”
“Did he?”
“Yes. Though I think I provoked him at times, he was…a gentleman—if one can apply the word in such situations.”
“You can and shall! I do not take my role lightly in these affairs and prefer an honest account, good or bad, of the people I have entrusted with such significant responsibilities.”
“The instructor had an interesting set of rules…”
“Structure and discipline provide security. Many would think that freedom shall always be the preferred circumstance, but it is not so. Sometimes, there is more freedom within the imposition of limits.”
“I can accept such reasoning, though it is not in my nature to play the subservient. Men have the authority whenever they wish it, but I have always believed women quite equal to the other sex.”
“That your instructor is a man is a coincidence. I could have appointed a woman. I have always believed women superior to men in more cases than not. You, my dear, could take the role of master once you have attained the proper education and skill level. As for subservience—I think it more of an exchange. You are granting another the responsibility of overseeing your pleasure so that you may free yourself to indulge, to allow yourself, body and mind, to be present in the moment.”
“He made mention of punishment. Is that necessary?”
Abby smiled. “Perhaps not, but it adds to the pleasure.”
On the surface, such an assertion made little sense, but Lizzy felt its truth deep in the warmth of her body.
“Are you interested to see how?” Abby asked.
Lizzy nodded.
“Wonderful! And will you take a second lesson with the same instructor?”
“I would.”
The words came out quicker than she had planned, but before they could make arrangements, a servant appeared to announce Mr. Collins had arrived.
Lizzy could not have been more disappointed, but she rallied herself that some time and distance from Trenwith House could prove beneficial to reflection and ease the giddiness she felt at all that had transpired here.
She faced a quandary in that she had as good as promised the Collinses that she would cease her friendship with Mrs. Trenwith, but a continuance of her ‘lessons’ would not be possible without Abby.
Desperate to depart as soon as possible, Mr. Collins insisted on standing outside while the stable hands tried their best to relieve his gig of the mud clinging to the wheels. Once he and Lizzy were headed back to the Parsonage, he explained his rationale for confronting the poor roads.
“Lady Catherine is expecting her nephews. Although an explanation for your absence could have been provided—it was unfortunate but understandable that the weather forced you to stay at Trenwith House—I would rather eschew any mention of it that we may not place her ladyship or her family in awkwardness of hearing it.”
Lizzy readily agreed, for Trenwith House now held too much significance to herself.
She applied herself in assisting Charlotte the remainder of the day, but only with much effort could she engage in dialogue with her friend, for her mind persisted in returning to Trenwith House and recalling the many ways in which he had touched and fondled her.
How many more lessons remained? As many as desired and required by the student? How many lessons would she wish for?
“I protest,” Charlotte said later that day as they replaced fresh flora in all the vases. “You are unwell and weary. I could not require your assistance at the expense of your health.”
“It is a mere cold that sounds worse than it feels,” Lizzy replied while suspecting that her appearance of weariness owed itself to a wandering mind.
“I have seen colds worsen into influenza.”
“I assure you I feel quite up to task.”
Enough time had passed as to remove all distress of the disturbing dream Lizzy had of Mr. Darcy.
She could now laugh in recollection of it, for she was sure Mr. Darcy was not a man to be found engaged in such a position.
It amused her to wonder what sort of lover he could be.
Despite her own limited experience, she nonetheless felt empowered to form judgment, and predicted he would be as stiff and un-engaging as he had always been in the company of others.
She fancied he would be awkward, bumbling, flustered, for it would have been beneath him to appreciate and apply himself to pleasuring another human being.
Woe to the poor woman who must submit to Mr. Darcy for a lover!
“What thought makes you smile?” Charlotte asked.
Lizzy was saved from having to answer by the entry of Mr. Collins, who, judging from his fast breathing, must have hurried home to deliver intelligence that Mr. Darcy had indeed arrived.
On the following morning, he hastened to Rosings to pay his respects.
There were two nephews of Lady Catherine to require them, for Mr. Darcy had brought with him a Colonel Fitzwilliam, and, to the great surprise of all the party, when Mr. Collins returned, the gentlemen accompanied him.
Charlotte had seen them from her husband's room, crossing the road, and immediately running into the other, told the girls what an honour they might expect, adding,
“I may thank you, Eliza, for this piece of civility. Mr. Darcy would never have come so soon to wait upon me.”
Lizzy had scarcely time to disclaim all right to the compliment, before their approach was announced by the door-bell, and shortly afterwards the three gentlemen entered the room.
Colonel Fitzwilliam, who led the way, was about thirty, not handsome, but in person and address most truly the gentleman.
Mr. Darcy looked just as he had been used to look in Hertfordshire—paid his compliments, with his usual reserve, to Mrs. Collins, and whatever might be his feelings toward her friend, met her with every appearance of composure.
Lizzy merely curtseyed to him without saying a word.
Colonel Fitzwilliam entered into conversation directly with the readiness and ease of a well-bred man, and talked very pleasantly; but his cousin, after having addressed a slight observation on the house and garden to Mrs. Collins, sat for some time without speaking to anybody.
He seemed more awkward than ever before—troubled even.
Lizzy thought he glanced at her with a reaction that appeared very much like dismay.
At length, however, his civility was so far awakened as to inquire after the health of her family.
She answered him in the usual way, and after a moment's pause, added:
"My eldest sister has been in town these three months. Have you never happened to see her there?"
She was perfectly sensible that he never had, but she wished to see whether he would betray any consciousness of what had passed between the Bingleys and Jane, and she thought he looked a little confused as he answered that he had never been so fortunate as to meet Miss Bennet.
The subject was pursued no farther, and the gentlemen soon afterwards went away.