Chapter 13 Elowen
ELOWEN
I get back to the temple just in time to duck in the back door of the dorm and change my soiled robes for fresh clean ones. I feel guilty as I do so. Maybe I don’t deserve to wear clean robes—not after what I did with Theron.
I don’t see any of my dorm mates around and I wonder where they are. Have any of them managed to survive the curse or circumvent it like I did? Did any of them find a male as kind as Theron, willing to help them without changing the color of their eyes?
It’s almost time for the Evening meal when they start trickling in. And I see at once that not a single one of them was as fortunate as me. Lorelei, Hortence, Terylin, Shantilla—all of them have large, rounded bellies under their robes and all have green eyes—mostly bloodshot from crying.
Last to come in is Mirabella. She looks at no one but only goes straight to her cot. Nobody seems inclined to talk—I see a few glances shot in my direction but I’m sitting with a pillow over my stomach. I don’t need to flaunt the fact that I overcame the curse when none of them could.
Then, the moment we’ve all been dreading happens. Sister Agatha comes through the front door of the dorm and claps her bony hands together.
“Alright, girls,” she says sharply. “Now it’s time for…” She trails off and her faded blue eyes go wide. “Merciful Goddess—what has happened to you all?” she demands.
Again, no one says anything—at first. Then Lorelei says,
“Mirabella made us go to a witch’s house and steal wish flowers.”
“What?” Mirabella’s green eyes flash. Apparently, she’s decided there’s no use using the magic eye drops when they can’t hide what she’s done. Or what’s been done to her, more accurately. “Don’t you lie,” she snaps at Lorelei. “You wanted to go get the wish flowers too!”
“No we didn’t—you made us!” Shantilla says. She turns to Sister Agatha. “Mirabella made us steal the flowers and then the witch came and caught us and put…” Her voice wobbles. “Put a curse on us.”
“A curse? What kind of curse?” Sister Agatha demands.
“It made us go out to the town to find men!” Hortence exclaims.
“And it made us let them change the color of our eyes,” Terilyn says in a low voice.
“So the whole lot of you went out and let yourself be defiled?” Sister Agatha’s expression is growing more horrified by the moment.
“It’s not our fault—blame that witch!” Mirabella snaps. “She put this curse on us—and forced us to get pregnant too!”
“Merciful Goddess!” Sister Agatha shakes her head. “I can’t believe it! Are all of you defiled?”
“I’m not,” I say, in a small voice.
“What?” Mirabella turns on me, her green eyes narrowed in disbelief. “You liar—I saw you at The Anvil. You’re as defiled as the rest of us!”
“No, I’m not.” I stand up from my cot, putting the pillow aside to show myself.
“Elowen is just so fat you can’t tell that she’s pregnant,” Lorelei sneers.
Which is a lie. Yes, I’m curvy but you could certainly tell if I had a belly like the rest of them, which makes them all look nine months gone.
“My eyes are still blue,” I say, instead. I’m done with their insults—they can call me “fat cow” all they want—they’re the ones with strangers’ babies kicking in their bellies.
Sister Agatha comes across to me and takes me by the chin in her pincer-grip. I try not to wince as she leans in to study my eyes. Her breath smells musty and faintly fishy.
At last she lets me go and steps back.
“Well, at least one of you had the sense to keep her legs closed!” she declares. Then she glares at the rest of the girls. “The rest of you must all leave the temple at once. The Goddess won’t have wanton girls under her roof.”
I feel a twinge of guilt mixed with shame. I was wanton enough with Theron—he was just good enough to help me break the curse without changing the color of my eyes.
The other girls are whining and complaining, and Melanie is protesting that it isn’t fair.
“I saw her at The Anvil—she was with the smith!” she shouts, pointing at me. “There’s no way she’s still pure! She got fucked the same way we all did—I know it!”
“Mirabella, language!” Sister Agatha exclaims, looking scandalized. She shakes her head. “I don’t know how I ever thought you were a good, decent girl when clearly you’re just a slut.”
“It was the witch’s fault!” Mirabella protests angrily. “Take it up with her—with Grizalyn! She did this to us! She cursed us!”
“It wasn’t the witch who spread your legs for whoever it was you were with,” Sister Agatha says grimly. “Now all of you—out! Before the Goddess strikes you down for brining your wanton ways into her house!”
She forces the girls to pack their things and then pushes them out the door.
“But where will we go?” Hortence asks, tears in her eyes. “My family won’t want me like this!” And she nods down at her protruding belly.
“There’s a halfway house for unwed mothers in the next town over,” Shantilla says, speaking up unexpectedly. “We could go there.”
“We’d better hurry!” Lorelei exclaims, clutching her belly. “I feel ready to burst!”
“I don’t care where you go, as long as you never darken this doorway again!” Sister Agatha declares. “I’m ashamed of you, girls—all of you!”
She forces them to leave, tears in their newly green eyes as they walk out the back door of the dorm. Clearly she doesn’t want any outsiders to see them—it would doubtless damage the reputation of the temple.
At last, when they’re all gone, she turns back to me.
“Well? How is it you were able to resist the curse when none of the others could?” she demands.
“I…I don’t know.” I can feel my cheeks getting red as I remember that I didn’t really evade the magic—it’s just that Theron had mercy on me.
Sister Agatha narrows her eyes.
“I know Grizalyn—she was once a Priestess here. She’s very powerful—so powerful that she was the Holy Advisor to the royal family for a while. How did you evade her magic?”
I shake my head.
“I…I didn’t take any of her wish flowers,” I say at last, which is true, at least—though it doesn’t explain the truth of how I managed to break the curse while keeping my eyes blue.
“Hmm…” Sister Agatha studies me sternly for a long moment. At last she says, “Something’s off about this, though I don’t know what. I’ll be keeping a close eye on you, girl! So be careful what you do.”
Then she turns and sweeps out of the dorm, leaving me full of shame and guilt and fear. I was wanton too. Just because I didn’t get my eyes changed or get pregnant, doesn’t mean I was a saint.
Every girl in my dorm got kicked out of the temple and only I remain…but I don’t deserve to. How long can I keep my guilty secret?
Forever, I tell myself. I’ll never tell a soul, and I’ll never do anything wanton again. I won’t even touch myself anymore. I’ll stay away from Theron and all men for the rest of my life. I’ll be pure and good for the rest of my life and I’ll beg the Goddess of Nature for forgiveness.
I have no idea how soon my promises and good intentions are going to fail.