Chapter 52 Elowen
ELOWEN
My heart won’t stop pounding. It feels like it’s trying to climb right out of my chest as I sit on the soft leather couch, my hands clenched tightly in my lap, my fingers twisting together until they ache.
The fire crackles softly in the hearth across from us, casting a warm, flickering glow over the room, but I still feel cold inside.
Or maybe not cold. I feel empty—achingly, unbearably empty.
I try not to look at Theron. I really do.
But I can feel him beside me—feel the heat of his body like a second fire, stronger than the one burning in the hearth.
I can smell him too— that spicy, masculine scent that wraps around me and settles low in my belly, making the ache there throb even harder.
Goddess help me, the curse is worse than ever. It coils inside me like something alive, tightening and twisting, leaving me restless and raw and desperate for something I can’t seem to reach on my own. Every breath I take feels too shallow…every shift of my body only reminds me of what I’m lacking.
What I need…what only he can give me.
I swallow hard and force myself to look anywhere but at him—at the flickering firelight, at the carved wood of the furniture, at the dark, shadowed corners of the room where the light doesn’t quite reach.
At last my eyes land on Salazar.
The Fire Demon sits across from us, long legs crossed, one elegant hand draped casually over the arm of his chair.
The flames that make up his body burn a little brighter here in the dim room, casting strange, shifting patterns of light across the polished floor and walls.
He’s watching us, those glowing eyes move between us with quiet, deliberate interest, as though he’s already savoring something that hasn’t happened yet.
I don’t like it. I don’t like the way he looks at me. I don’t like the idea of him watching what’s about to happen. The thought makes my stomach twist uneasily.
But even as that unease flickers through me, it’s swallowed almost immediately by something stronger.
The ache…the need. It pulses through me, hot and insistent, drowning out everything else—my fear, my embarrassment, even my anger at Theron for rejecting me last night.
I shift slightly on the couch, pressing my thighs together in a futile attempt to ease the constant throb between them. It doesn’t help. Nothing helps.
Goddess, please…I can’t stand this much longer!
I close my eyes for a moment, trying to steady myself, trying to breathe through it. But all I can think about is him—about Theron. The way he looked at me before. The way he touched me. The way he made me feel so wanted and safe.
My breath catches in my throat, and I open my eyes again, unable to stop myself this time as I turn to look at him. He’s already watching me.
His gaze is dark and intense—locked on my face as though he can’t look away any more than I can. There’s something in his expression that makes my chest tighten—something raw and conflicted and aching in a way that mirrors how I feel inside.
He wants me—I can see it. I can feel it.
And yet…he’s holding himself back.
My throat tightens and I wet my lips, my voice coming out softer than I intend.
“I’m scared,” I admit.
It’s only part of the truth. I’m scared of this place. Scared of the demon watching us. Scared of what might happen if we go too far.
But more than that, I’m scared he’ll pull away again. That he’ll stop. That he won’t be able to give me what I need without taking things too far.
Theron must be feeling the same way because his jaw tightens and he shifts slightly beside me, his hands curling into fists on his thighs.
“I know, baby,” he says quietly. His voice is rough, like he’s forcing the words out past something lodged in his chest.
I take a shaky breath.
“I don’t like him watching,” I say, glancing briefly at Salazar before looking back at Theron.
The demon only smiles faintly, as though my discomfort amuses him.
“But…” I hesitate, my fingers twisting together again as heat floods through me, stronger than ever. The words feel embarrassing…humiliating. And yet I can’t keep them in. “But I need this,” I whisper.
My cheeks burn, but I don’t look away this time.
“I feel so…empty,” I admit, my voice trembling despite my best efforts to steady it. “Like there’s something missing inside me and I can’t fix it on my own. I tried—I tried so many times, but it’s not enough.”
The confession hangs in the air between us, heavy and raw and Theron’s eyes darken further, something flickering there that sends a shiver through my whole body.
“Baby…” he starts, his voice low and strained. “I just don’t know if this is a good idea.”
“I trust you,” I say quickly, before he can go on—before he can pull away again like he did last night.
After all, that’s the truth that matters most. More than my fear or embarrassment—more than anything. He’s never hurt me and I trust him not to now.
“I trust you,” I repeat, more firmly this time. “Even if you don’t trust yourself.”
For a moment, he just stares at me—really stares. It’s as though he’s searching my face for something—doubt, maybe, or fear—some reason to stop.
But I don’t look away—I can’t. Not when everything in me is reaching for him—begging for his touch, needing his big, muscular body against mine.
The silence stretches between us, thick and charged, broken only by the soft crackle of the fire. Then, slowly, he exhales and something in his posture shifts.
His hand lifts, hovering for just a second as though he’s still deciding…still fighting himself. Then he reaches for me.
His fingers brush mine—just a light touch, barely there, but even that small contact sends a jolt through me.
My breath catches sharply, and I lean towards him without thinking, my body responding instinctively, desperately.
Theron’s jaw tightens again, but this time he doesn’t pull away.
“Elowen…” he murmurs, my name rough on his lips. “Baby…”
“I know,” I whisper back, even though I’m not sure what I’m answering. All I know is that I can’t bear the distance between us anymore. And for the first time since last night—he isn’t stepping away.
He’s still holding back—I can feel it in the tension of his body, in the careful way he touches me as though I might break.
But he’s here with me and that’s enough…
For now.