Chapter 58 Elowen
ELOWEN
There’s something different between Theron in me now that he’s changed the color of my eyes. I don’t know what it is—I can’t define it or describe it, but I swear it’s there.
I just don’t know what it is.
I feel…connected to him now. Connected in a way I didn’t before. I can always feel his Drake’s emotions when he’s in that form, but I was never able to feel Theron’s before.
Now I’m getting his emotions loud and clear—regret and remorse are uppermost. I guess he feels sorry for changing the color or my eyes. But also, he seems upset—possibly for the same reason his Drake is upset.
Does he not want to lose me? Does he want to keep me with him?
But how would that work? And besides, when we started this quest—or series of quests—he made it clear that we would be going our separate ways afterwards. How could we not, considering that I’m going to work the Time Weaving and put us all back in time to where we didn’t even know each other?
His Drake doesn’t seem to like that idea. After Theron Shifts, the huge dragon snorts and rolls his golden eyes at me and I swear I feel guilty.
“Look, I have to work the Time Weaving spell,” I try to explain to him. “I have to go back to stop a lot of bad things from happening. I need to get back to my old life.”
But I can’t help thinking that going back to the long, boring days at the temple, to Sister Agatha’s strict supervision and the crowded dorm with the girls who all hated me for being a half-breed isn’t nearly as appealing as it used to be.
However, I have no choice. No matter how upset it makes Theron’s Drake, I must go back in time and reverse what has happened to me. As I am right now, with green eyes instead of blue, I’m ruined.
A Fae maiden cannot have green eyes and be unwed—it simply isn’t heard of. Anyone who looks at me now will think, “slut,” when they don’t see a ring on my finger or any marks of marriage on my pointed ears—which are expensive gold and silver earrings some High Fae prefer to finger rings.
It’s one reason I almost took Salazar up on his offer to give me a new set of clothes. But in the end, I was afraid that he might charge me some other awful toll I couldn’t or didn’t want to pay. He forced Theron and me together, after all—who knows what else he might do?
He forced you—right, a dry little voice in my head says. Like you weren’t desperate for Theron to touch you—to take you. Like you didn’t want him filling you…fucking you.
I push the thought away as I step up on the Drake’s waiting foreleg and get settled on his broad back. He helps me mount but doesn’t duck his head back for any scritches behind his eye-ridges. It seems he really is upset with me.
I wish I could explain in a way he’d understand that I’m ruined now, and I have no choice but to work the Time Weaving.
But it’s too late for explanations. He’s already lifting off—his vast, sail-sized wings beating the air and raising us high over the Southern Wastelands.
It’s a long trip to the King’s Court, which is located in the very center of the kingdom. But however long it is, I know I’ll wish it was longer. I don’t like the idea of leaving Theron and his Drake behind—I’ve become fond of both of them.
More than fond.
You love them both, whispers a thought in my head but I push it away. Because I know if I let myself think like that, I’m going to cry.
I can’t cry right now—I have to be strong. I have to stay on track and do this spell. It’s the only way to get back to where—and when—I belong. So even if it breaks my heart into a million pieces, I’ll do it.
I have no other choice.