10. Noa
Noa
“Are you ever going to spill the beans on who that hunk of danger was this morning?” My co-worker Jenny slides her butt onto the edge of my desk, looking for details.
“The father,” I confess, no longer trepidatious about thinking of him that way, because Carmine has truly stepped up and shown he wants us.
There’s still the niggling fear that it’s only because of the baby, but then I remember when he showed up the first day, uncertain if the baby was his but still wanting us.
“Whoa, girl, you lucked out. That baby is going to be a gorgeous little one.” Frowning, I don’t like the way she’s thinking of Carmine.
“I suppose so.”
“Besides, he looked like a lot more than just the father with the way you two were lip-locked in here this morning, and then the way he watched you until he couldn’t anymore. The man is possessed.” Knowing she’s trying to be cute and playful doesn’t help the sudden jealousy I feel.
“Could be.” Answering noncommittally is the only way I know to protect myself.
“What do the kids think of him?” Jenny has two children around Joey and Kylie’s ages, so we’ve had a few playdates in the past and will likely have more in the future.
“Joey is still guarded, but Kylie and Emma adore him.” Admittedly, that’s why it’s become easier to allow myself to believe we have a future together. Joey is the only reason my heart still protests.
Jenny hums before sharing, “Kids know things,” and leaving.
Like I don’t already know that. Mine all know more than they should. Their lives haven’t been the easiest, and even now, we’re all still navigating our way through.
The afternoon passes slower than the morning did, and by the time last period nears its end, I’m close to passing out.
I did some reading today. It said that pregnancy with boys can sometimes be more exhausting than with girls, and at the moment, I’m convinced this baby is a boy, because how can there be a deeper level of fatigue if it’s not?
My head nods back and forth as I register a masculine chuckle followed by warm hands on my cheek and neck. Recognizing that it’s Carmine makes it easier to keep my eyes closed and just enjoy his touch for the moment.
“You’re too fucking adorable, mama.” His lips press to mine, and my entire body perks up a little more.
“Mmm, more like frumpy,” I correct him. I wasn’t pleased with my weight gain at today’s OB appointment, but there’s not much I can do when I’m creating a life.
“Beautiful to me. But we need to talk about what you’ve been sleeping in.
” Embarrassment turns my face tomato-red.
“There’s no more of that. No more sacrificing because the kids need something.
” My eyes open, tears clinging to my lashes, seeing the concern etched on his handsome face.
“I get why you’ve been doing it, but tonight that stops. Got it?”
I nod as the bell rings, and he grabs my bag from under the desk, then helps me to my feet.
Waving goodbye to Jenny, she shoots me a wink, obviously hinting at how hot she thinks Carmine is, and as I walk beside him, I can see why.
Well, I’ve always seen why. He’s got perfect bone structure, there’s only a small hint of grey in his short, coffee-colored hair and perfectly groomed beard.
He seems to have a beautiful golden tan all year round, and those full lips that I know are built for pleasure make my mouth water.
But it’s his electrifying jade-green eyes that have always held me hostage.
They hold secrets and depths that I’ll likely never touch.
When they’re warm and affectionate, I forget about everything else in the world.
I know that when he’s watching me, I command his absolute attention.
“You’re staring,” he smirks.
“Daydreaming.”
He opens the car door for me, buckles me in, and tosses my bag in the back. We’ve barely pulled away from school, and I already feel sleep catching up with me as my eyes close. The next thing I know, I’m being woken up by a kiss.
“Feel like sleeping beauty.” I smile against Carmine’s lips, and he chuckles.
“You certainly are.” His tongue licks at my lower lip as he unbuckles me and draws back enough for me to look beyond him to see the kid’s school. “We’re here.”
It’s as I step down while holding his arm that reality hits. “We don’t have the car seats.” Panic tightens my chest. I can’t believe I forgot about that.
“Hey, it’s alright. I transferred them to my SUV before leaving your apartment.
It’s all good.” Spinning around, relief nauseates me as I glance into the back seat.
How did I miss that? “Ah, mama. So sweet, so caring.” His lips on the side of my neck make me melt into him as he presses his sturdy chest to my back, scooping my belly into his hands and holding the weight for me.
“Oh god, that feels good.” The instant relief almost makes me cry. It’s so immensely comforting that I start to shake. It’s been so damn long since I’ve felt any sort of support.
“Noa, hey, fuck. Please don’t cry.” I didn’t realize I was until I felt him leaning forward and kissing the tears off my cheeks. “Joey’s mistrust of me is bad enough. He sees that I’ve made his mom cry, and he’ll never give me a chance.”
Laughing, I give Carmine all my weight, and he takes me without issue. “Happy tears, I promise. It just feels so good. My back isn’t screaming, and I feel like I can breathe again.”
“Then I’ll do it as often as I can.” His soft words make my heart thump fiercely against my chest.
“Mommyyyyyyy!!” Emma’s delighted shout makes us both turn to see her running full speed, with Joey chasing after her from the playground, and Kylie gathering their things. Sophie ensures someone watches the other children and comes over as well.
“Miss Carmichael, I’m glad I caught you. Can we speak for a second?” Joey won’t look at me, and it’s clear that I’m not going to like this.
“Help your sisters, please,” I tell him, but Carmine already has Emma in his arms, and Kylie slips into the backseat. “What’s going on?” I ask as we step away from the car.
“Joey wasn’t supposed to be here today. He was suspended, remember?”
“Which is why I made arrangements for him to go home with his friend.” The boy lives across the street. I see him playing in his window now as he watches TV.
“Well, Joey didn’t stay there.” She crosses her arms.
“So why didn’t you call me?” It’s what they should have done.
“Because I knew you were likely on your way here already.”
The kids are in daycare for 30 to 60 minutes a day, depending on how quickly I get out of school and maneuver traffic.
“How long was he here for?”
“Not long.” She begins shifting on her feet.
“And where was he?” I ask.
She sighs and points to a public bench on the other side of the fence. “He sat there. The girls joined him on our side of the fence.”
“So, technically speaking, he did nothing wrong except make sure that he was over here for when I arrived to pick them up and stayed off the property.”
“That’s not the point; he knew the rules.” She’s defensive now.
“Did he cause any disruptions or problems? The kids were just having free play, right?” That’s how they explained things to me when I signed up for daycare.
“Well, yes.”
Carmine has been listening, and when he steps forward to stand with me, I chew on my lip because I have the feeling this won’t go well.
“What did he do wrong, then?” Joey stands by the open passenger door, pretending to play with Emma in her buckled seat but still listening. “Are you policing public streets now?”
“Of course not.” Her tone rises slightly.
“I’ll be having a word with the director and the school about this.
You’re saying the child did nothing wrong, yet he can’t sit on a public bench quietly, causing no disruptions, and obviously in view of the person who was watching him until his mom arrived.
” Carmine points across the street to where the friend’s mom sits on the step and waves.
Joey must have told them that’s where he was supposed to be at this time.
“I understand you have rules and regulations, but your place is behind that fence. Joey did nothing wrong.” Standing up for my brother when he’s being punished for something that frankly could have been handled better is the easiest part of my job.
“Look, I’m not trying to be confrontational; I had to bring it to your attention.” The teacher’s hands rise, but it’s obvious that she’s trying to put the blame on the boy.
“You most certainly came over here for a confrontation. You didn’t bother to call Noa, and now you’re acting superior. Stop while you’re ahead, or I’ll have your job too.”
With a hand on my back, Carmine leads me away. He points to the back seat, indicating for Joey to get in, while helping me into the front seat.
“What’s happening?” Kylie asks as Carmine pulls away from the school. “Where’s Mommy’s car?”
“Mommy needed a break, and I wanted to see where you went to school and daycare so I could arrange for you guys to have your own driver.” Carmine gives her a playful wink, and my sweet sister eats it up. Joey appears concerned, and Emma babbles away, oblivious.
“Hey, that’s mine!” Joey yells as we park in front of our apartment building, and I see the movers carrying out his dresser that’s loaded with stickers he’s collected over the years.
“What are you doing with that? Put it back!” He jumps out of the car and tries to stop the people from loading it into the truck.
“Mommy, why are they taking our stuff?” Kylie asks tearfully.
“We’re moving,” I simply reply, and she perks up a little bit.
“How do you feel about your own princess room?” Carmine asks as he turns towards the back while Kylie unbuckles and stands between the seats.
“Will I have a princess bed?” He nods sharply. “Well, where will Emma sleep? She’s always slept in my room.”
He looks between the girls as I get out of the vehicle and open Emma’s door.
“Do you still want to share a room?” Kylie gazes down at her sister as she waves at the movers and smiles before shrugging.
“If you want to share, that can be arranged. Or we can make sure there are two beds in each of your rooms, and you can decide who sleeps where and when until you want your own space.”
Kylie’s jaw drops. “We can do that?” She looks at me for confirmation.
Taking a deep breath, I embrace everything Carmine offers us. “If Carmine says so, then you sure can.”
She squeals, startling Emma, and jumps into his arms. His peaceful face is the last thing that crumbles the walls around my heart. It’s obvious his affection for my siblings, and I find myself no longer wanting to fight over every little thing.
“Mom!” Joey shouts as I remove Emma from her seat and set her on her feet. “They’re taking all of our stuff.” At this point, he’s near tears.
Guiding him over to our building’s stoop, I sit with him and explain, “We’re moving, Joey. Your things are coming with us.”
“Where are we going?” His eyes begin to dry up.
“To Carmine’s house. Everyone gets their own room, and Carmine has said you can decorate or paint it however you want.” He didn’t say that exactly, but I get the feeling he won’t say no to them.
“You get a real bed?” he asks, and red tinges my cheeks as I nod.
Joey throws his arms around my neck and whispers, “As long as you get a bed,” before darting over to where Carmine stands, holding Kylie’s hand as she observes the movers.
Emma hops up next to me and lays her head in my lap, eyes closing. She needs a nap.
Watching the two men in my life carry on a brief conversation before Joey offers his hand causes my heart to explode with love.
This is a huge step for Joey, and I’m so proud of him.
He’s had so many upheavals in his short life, too many of them have been abrupt, and he’s always taken them in stride.
Hopefully, this will be the final major change until the baby comes.