Chapter 12 Brandi
brANDI
I watched that black Bentayga pull off from the curb, and something about it made my stomach twist.
Zahara was in the front seat, that big fine nigga with the pretty eyes, Prentice, behind the wheel, and Yusef in the back looking like he’d seen a ghost. They couldn’t get out of here fast enough. Damn near ran to that car soon as they finished talking to me.
Zoo came up beside me on the church steps, hands in his pockets, watching the same thing I was watching.
“You see that shit?” he said, low.
“See what?”
“How fast they bounced. Like they couldn’t wait to get away from here.”
I wrapped my arms around myself even though it wasn’t cold. “People grieve different, Zoo. Maybe they just needed to go.”
“Nah.” He shook his head slow. “That wasn’t grief. That was something else.”
I didn’t want to hear this. Not today. Not standing outside the church where I’d just buried my only child. But Zoo had that look on his face—that dog-with-a-bone look that meant he wasn’t gonna let whatever this was go.
“Come on.” He nodded toward the side of the church where it was quieter. “I need to tell you something.”
We walked around the corner, away from all the mourners still standing around, hugging and crying and doing whatever people do when death reminds them they ain’t got forever. I leaned against the brick wall and Zoo stood in front of me, blocking out the afternoon sun.
“I talked to Tyler and Deon,” he said.
“When?”
“While we were inside.” He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag before he continued. “They told me some interesting shit about Nigel and that boy Yusef.”
My heart started beating a little faster. “What kind of shit?”
“They said Nigel and them was punking Yusef. Running his pockets, slapping him around, taking his shit. Been going on for months.”
I exhaled slow. Okay. So my son wasn’t perfect.
I knew that. I’d seen him come home with sneakers I ain’t buy.
Chains that wasn’t his. AirPods still in the packaging.
I ain’t never ask too many questions because I ain’t want to know the answers.
I thought that most of those gifts had come from Zoo.
Besides, what money did Yusef even have?
Zahara kept him in lame brands. He never had on any of the new shit.
Something ugly flickered in my chest. Something that felt too close to guilt. Had I known my son was out there terrorizing other kids? Had I seen the signs and just… looked the other way? I knew that Nigh was feeling himself. Knew he was a bit of a bully.
Nah. I pushed that shit down quick. Nigel was a VICTIM. My baby was DEAD. Whatever he did or didn’t do to that boy, he ain’t deserve to die for it.
“So? Boys is boys, Zoo. Nigh-Nigh was just… you know. Establishing dominance. Being the alpha. You can’t run your school if you letting niggas punk you.”
“That’s facts.” Zoo nodded, blowing smoke out his nose. “That’s exactly what I taught him. See weakness, exploit it. Can’t be soft out here.”
“Exactly. So what’s the problem?”
Zoo was quiet for a second, looking past me at something I couldn’t see. “The problem is… what if somebody got tired of being punked? What if one of them weak niggas decided they wasn’t gonna be weak no more?”
I laughed. Couldn’t help it. “You talking about Yusef? That lil geeky-ass boy? Zoo, please. He scared of his own damn shadow. You seen him in there—couldn’t even look at the casket without looking like he was about to pass out. That boy is a whole lil bitch.”
“Maybe.” Zoo took another drag of his cigarette. “But you know who else was a lil bitch back in the day?”
“Who?”
“That nigga they was with. Prentice. The one who stepped up on me like he was gonna do something.”
I thought about him. Tall. Fine as hell if I was being honest. Built like he lived in the gym. Locs hanging past his shoulders. And those eyes—cold as ice when he looked at Zoo. Like he wasn’t scared of shit or nobody.
“What about him?”
“We went to middle school together. MLK.” Zoo flicked ash on the ground. “And back then? That nigga was fat as fuck, B. Big as a house. And he had a stutter so bad he could barely say his own name. Used to get clowned every single day. Everybody and they mama used to fuck with Prentice Banks.”
I couldn’t picture it. That man I’d just seen? Fat? Stuttering? Getting bullied?
“You lyin’.”
“I’m dead-ass.” Zoo’s face was serious as a heart attack. “He was the biggest lick at our school. Easy target. Until one day he wasn’t.”
“What happened?”
“He killed a nigga.” Zoo said it flat. Matter of fact. Like he was telling me the weather. “A nigga named Tre who had been bullying him for years. Prentice caught him after school and beat him to death with a padlock. Crushed his whole skull. Right there in the schoolyard.”
My stomach flipped. “What?”
“Did eight years. Came home a whole different nigga. All that fat gone. Stutter gone. Fear gone.” Zoo dropped his cigarette and stepped on it. “That soft lil bitch turned into whatever the fuck he is now.”
I didn’t say nothing. Just stood there trying to make it make sense.
“So think about it, B.” Zoo stepped closer to me.
“You got a grown man who killed his bully when he was a kid. Now he’s playing stepdaddy to a lil nigga who’s getting punked the same exact way he was.
You don’t think he maybe saw himself in that boy?
Maybe put a battery pack in Yusef’s back?
Told him to stop being a victim? Showed him how to handle his business? ”
“Zoo…” I shook my head. “Yusef is twelve. He’s a baby. Prentice wouldn’t be crazy enough to give him a gun.”
“And Prentice was thirteen when he caught his body.” Zoo shrugged. “Age don’t mean shit when somebody push you far enough.”
“Nah.” I kept shaking my head. “Nah, you wrong about this. Yusef ain’t got it in him. That boy is soft. He play piano and do chess club and all that bougie shit. He ain’t no killer.”
“Then why couldn’t he look me in my eyes?” Zoo’s voice got hard. “Why he damn near choke when I asked him some simple questions? Why that nigga Prentice stepped in front of him like he was protecting a witness?”
I didn’t have answers.
Zoo started walking back toward the front of the church. “I’ma find out, B. One way or another. Believe that.”
I stayed where I was for a minute. Leaning against that brick wall. Watching people leave in their black dresses and dark suits, crying over my baby like they actually gave a fuck.
And I thought about Yusef. That skinny, quiet, scared little boy.
The way he froze at the casket. The way his whole body was shaking. The way Prentice kept his hand on his shoulder like he was holding him together.
Or holding him back.
Nah. It couldn’t be.
…Right?