Chapter 38 Zainab
ZAINAB
“So.” Serenity glanced at me from the driver’s seat. “How y’all holding up? For real.”
I didn’t know how to answer that. How do you sum up everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours? My nephew was still missing. My man was at war. And my sister—the one who was alive—was sitting in the backseat looking more relaxed than I’d ever seen her.
Mehar was wearing tight jeans and a fitted top from our mall trip.
Gold hoops in her ears. A delicate chain around her neck.
A little mascara and lip gloss—nothing dramatic, but enough to highlight the features Ahmad had kept hidden for years.
No hijab. No abaya. No layers of modesty he had demanded she hide beneath.
Just Mehar. Looking like a regular woman in her mid-twenties instead of a ghost wrapped in black fabric.
It should’ve made me happy. And it did. But it also made me nervous.
Because the woman who had shot Ahmad five times and smiled about it was also the woman who now looked like she could walk into any club in DC and blend right in. And I wasn’t sure what she planned to do with that freedom.
“Honestly?” I finally said. “I don’t even know anymore. Every time I think things can’t get crazier, they do.”
“That’s life with the Banks men.” Serenity laughed, but there was understanding beneath it. “They attract chaos like magnets. But they also handle it. Prime especially. That man would walk through fire for the people he loves.”
“I know.”
“He’s gonna get Yusef back.” Her voice softened. “I’ve known my brother my whole life. When he sets his mind to something, it happens. Period.”
I nodded, swallowing past the lump in my throat. “I know he will. I just… I hate feeling useless. Sitting on the sidelines while he’s out there fighting.”
“Girl, you’re not useless. You’re the reason he’s fighting.” Serenity reached over and squeezed my hand. “That man was a walking corpse before you. Going through the motions. Killing people. Making money. But not really living. You woke something up in him.”
“She’s right.” Mehar’s voice floated from the backseat. “I see it whenever we’re all in the room together. The way he looks at you. I’ve never seen a man look at a woman like that. Like she was oxygen.”
I felt my cheeks warm. “Y’all are being dramatic.”
“We’re being real.” Serenity grinned. “Welcome to the family, sis. For better or worse.”
The nausea hit about twenty minutes from the beach house.
One minute I was fine, listening to Serenity tell a story about the time Justice tried to cook Thanksgiving dinner and almost burned the house down. The next minute, my stomach was doing backflips and my mouth was filling with saliva.
“Pull over.”
“What?”
“PULL OVER.”
Serenity swerved onto the shoulder so fast I barely had time to throw open the door before I was hurling into the grass.
Everything I’d eaten that day—which wasn’t much—came back up in violent waves. I gripped the door frame, my body heaving, tears streaming down my face from the force of it.
“Oh shit.” Serenity was beside me in seconds, holding my locs back from my face. “Girl, are you okay? What happened?”
Mehar appeared on my other side, rubbing my back in slow circles. “Was it something you ate? Or is it nerves? You’ve been through a lot today.”
I shook my head, spitting the last of the bile onto the ground. “I don’t know. I just… one second I was fine, and then…”
I trailed off. My brain was trying to tell me something. Something important. But it was buried under layers of stress and fear and exhaustion.
“Zainab.” Mehar’s voice was careful. Measured. “When was your last period?”
The question hit me like a bucket of cold water.
When WAS my last period?
I tried to think back. Tried to remember. But the past couple of months had been such a blur—Meech’s parole hearing, meeting Prime, moving in with him, the kidnapping, Zoo, running for our lives—that something as mundane as my menstrual cycle had completely fallen off my radar.
“I…” I straightened up slowly, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “I don’t remember.”
Serenity’s eyes went wide. “Wait. Are you saying…”
“I don’t know. I can’t remember. Everything’s been so crazy, I haven’t even thought about it.”
Mehar and Serenity exchanged a look. The kind of look that said they were both thinking the same thing.
“Okay.” Serenity was already pulling out her phone. “There’s a CVS like five minutes from here. We’re making a stop.”
“Serenity—”
“Don’t argue with me. We’re getting a test. Multiple tests.
And we’re gonna find out for sure.” She was grinning now, her earlier concern replaced by barely contained excitement.
“Oh my GOD. What if you’re pregnant? Prime is gonna LOSE it.
In a good way. That man wants babies so bad, I can tell.
He’s always playing with Justice’s daughters, spoiling them rotten—”
“Can we not get ahead of ourselves?” I climbed back into the car, my legs shaky. “It could be nothing. Could just be stress.”
“Could be.” Mehar settled into the backseat, a small smile on her face. “But it could also be something.”
The CVS run was an experience.
Serenity marched into that store like a woman on a mission. Grabbed a basket. Headed straight for the family planning aisle. And proceeded to grab every pregnancy test on the shelf.
“Serenity. That’s like eight tests.”
“Nine.” She tossed another one in the basket. “First Response. Clear Blue. The generic brand. We’re covering all our bases.”
“I don’t need NINE tests—”
“You need at least three. The rest are backup.” She was already heading toward the register. “Oh, and we need snacks. Can’t take a pregnancy test on an empty stomach. That’s like… bad luck or something.”
“That’s not a thing.”
“It’s a thing now. I just made it a thing.”
Mehar was laughing quietly behind us. Actually laughing. The sound was so foreign, so unexpected, that I almost stopped in my tracks.
My sister was laughing in a CVS while we bought pregnancy tests. A month ago, she couldn’t even leave her house without Ahmad’s permission.
Life was wild.
Serenity grabbed chips, gummy bears, and three bottles of water. “For hydration. You gotta pee on the sticks, so you gotta hydrate.”
“Thank you for that reminder.”
“I’m helpful like that.”
We paid and got back on the road. My stomach was still uneasy, but now it was mixed with something else.
Anticipation.
Was I pregnant?
The thought alone made my head spin. A baby. Prime’s baby. Growing inside me while the world around us burned.
Part of me wanted it to be true. Wanted something good to come out of all this chaos. Wanted to give Prime the family I knew he secretly dreamed about.
But another part of me was terrified. How could I bring a child into this mess? Yusef was still out there, being tortured by a madman. My sister was dead. I was living under a stolen identity. And the man I loved was currently at war with one of the most dangerous people in DC.
This was not exactly ideal baby-making circumstances.
But then again, when had anything in my life been ideal?
The beach house was dark when we pulled up.
We filed inside, Serenity flipping on lights as we went. I didn’t stop to breathe, didn’t stop to think. Just headed straight for the bathroom, the CVS bag burning a hole in my hand.
“Come get us when it’s time to wait,” Serenity called after me. “We’re doing the three minutes together!”
I handled my business, set the test face down on the counter, and opened the door.
They were already standing in the hallway. Waiting.
“Three minutes,” I said.
Three minutes.
That’s how long the test said to wait. Three minutes to find out if my entire life was about to change.
We sat in the living room—me curled up on the couch, Serenity pacing by the windows, Mehar tucked into the armchair. The test sat on the coffee table, face down, taunting me.
“This is the longest three minutes of my life,” Serenity muttered. “And I once waited two hours for Prime to finish a ‘quick errand.’ Two hours. In the car. No AC.”
“What was the errand?” Mehar asked.
“To this day, I don’t know. He came back with a smoothie and told me to mind my business.”
I laughed despite myself. “That’s terrible.”
“Didn’t even offer me a sip.” Serenity shook her head. “The disrespect.”
The timer on Serenity’s phone went off, interrupting my laugh.
We all froze.
“Okay.” Serenity’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Moment of truth.”
I stood up slowly. My hands were shaking. My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat.
I picked up the test.
Turned it over.
Two lines.
Positive.
“Oh my God.” The words came out strangled. “Oh my God.”
Serenity scrambled to her feet. “What does it say? WHAT DOES IT SAY?”
I held up the test, my vision blurring with tears.
“I’m pregnant.”
Serenity screamed. Actually screamed, so loud it probably scared every seagull within a mile radius. She launched herself at me, wrapping me in a hug so tight I could barely breathe.
“OH MY GOD! YOU’RE PREGNANT! YOU’RE HAVING A BABY! I’M GONNA BE AN AUNTIE!”
“You’re already an aunt,” I managed. “Storie and Dream—”
“I’M GONNA BE AN AUNTIE AGAIN! THIS IS THE BEST NEWS EVER!”
Mehar was smiling from the doorway. A real smile, not the polite one she’d worn for years under Ahmad’s roof. “Congratulations, sis.”
“I can’t believe this.” I was crying now. Happy tears. Scared tears. All the tears. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
Serenity finally released me, bouncing on her heels like a kid on Christmas. “We have to tell Prime. We have to call him RIGHT NOW—”
“No.”
She stopped bouncing. “What? Why?”
“Not yet.” I wiped my face, trying to get myself together. “This news… it deserves to be delivered in person. After Yusef is safe. I don’t want Prime distracted. He needs to focus on ending this war and getting my nephew back.”
Serenity looked like she wanted to argue, but she didn’t. “Okay. Okay, I get it. But the SECOND that boy is home safe, you’re telling him.”
“I will. I promise.”
Mehar pushed off the doorframe. “Well, I guess this means you won’t be taking me to the club anytime soon.” She laughed, light and easy.
I looked at her. Making jokes about going to the club.
A month ago, she couldn’t even show her hair in public.
I should’ve been happy for her. And I was. But I was also worried. Because the freedom she’d craved for so long was finally here, and I had no idea what she was going to do with it.
“The club is the last thing on my mind right now,” I said carefully.
“I know.” Mehar shrugged. “But maybe after. When things calm down. I’ve never been to one. Ahmad thought they were haram.” She rolled her eyes. “Everything was haram to him. Dancing. Music. Happiness.”
There was an edge to her voice. A darkness that flickered beneath the surface before she smiled again.
I made a mental note to keep an eye on her. My sister had been through hell. She deserved freedom, yes. But she also needed healing. And I wasn’t sure those two things were going to happen at the same pace.
Later that night, I stood on the deck, looking out at the water.
The moon was full, casting silver light across the waves. The air was cold and salty, filling my lungs with each breath.
I pulled out my phone. Opened my messages. Found the thread I’d started months ago—the one I used when I needed to talk to my sister.
I knew she’d never read them. Knew these messages disappeared into the void. But it helped. Made me feel like she was still there, somehow. Still listening.
Me: Hey Za. It’s me. Again.
Me: I have news. Big news.
Me: I’m pregnant.
I paused. Watched the cursor blink.
Me: You’re going to be an auntie.
Me: I wish you were here. I wish I could tell you in person. I wish you could meet Prime and see how happy he makes me.
Me: I’m scared, Za. Everything is falling apart and I’m bringing a new life into this mess. What if I can’t protect this baby? What if I fail like I failed Yusef?
Me: But I’m also happy. Isn’t that crazy? In the middle of all this chaos, I’m happy. Because this baby is proof that something good can come from pain. That love can grow even in the darkest places.
Me: I miss you every day. I carry you with me everywhere I go.
Me: Watch over us, okay? Me, the baby, Yusef, Prime. We need all the help we can get.
Me: I love you, sis. Always.
I hit send. Watched the messages disappear into the digital void.
Then I put my phone away and placed my hand on my stomach. Flat still. No bump yet. But there was life in there. A tiny heartbeat that would grow stronger every day.
“We’re gonna be okay,” I whispered to the baby. To myself. To Zahara. “We’re gonna get through this. All of us.”
The waves crashed against the shore. The moon hung heavy in the sky.
And for the first time in weeks, I felt something other than fear.
I felt hope.