Chapter 25 Mehar
MEHAR
I couldn’t stop thinking about that night. It had been a week since the attack, but my body still remembered. The way that man grabbed me outside the bakery. The fear that shot through my veins like ice water. The helplessness of being smaller, weaker, unable to fight back.
Some men were monsters. I knew that better than most. My father was my first monster.
And then Ahmad taught me that lesson every day for four years.
And just when I thought I’d escaped that world—just when I thought I was safe—some random stranger reminded me that danger was everywhere. That being a woman meant being prey.
But then there was Thad.
He’d appeared out of nowhere, like he sensed I was in trouble. Pulled that man off me. Protected me. Held me while I shook and cried and fell apart in his arms.
I still got chills thinking about it. Not from fear—from gratitude. From relief. From the way he’d looked at me after, like hurting me was the worst thing anyone could ever do. Like he’d burn the world down before he let it happen again.
Maybe that’s why I was falling so fast. Because I finally knew what it felt like to be protected instead of preyed upon.
“You’re glowing.”
I looked up from my phone to find Serenity curled up on the other end of the couch, watching me with a knowing smirk. She had on a silk robe, her dark hair swept into a messy bun, a glass of wine dangling from her fingers even though it was barely seven o’clock.
“I’m not glowing.”
“Girl, you’re lit up like a Christmas tree.” She tucked her feet underneath her, settling in like she was about to interrogate me. “You’ve been staring at your phone and smiling for the last twenty minutes. Who you texting?”
“Nobody.”
“Mmhmm.” She took a sip of her wine, still watching me. “It’s Thad, isn’t it?”
I felt my face get hot. “Maybe.”
“Maybe my ass.” She laughed, shaking her head. “You’re in love with him.”
“I am not in love with him. We’ve only been talking for a few weeks.”
“Mehar.” She set her wine glass down on the coffee table and turned to face me fully.
“I’ve known you for almost a year now. I’ve seen you at your lowest—fresh out of that marriage, scared of your own shadow, flinching every time somebody raised their voice.
And I’ve watched you come back to life. I was there when you got your first tattoo, bought your first pair of red bottoms, learned how to twerk. ”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re a terrible teacher.”
“I’m an excellent teacher. You just ain’t got no rhythm.
All that ass and you can’t make it bounce.
But if I—a boarding school kid— can twerk, so can you.
” She grinned, but then her expression softened.
“My point is, I know you. And I haven’t seen you look like this since…
honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look like this. My cousin has you wide open.”
I wanted to deny it. Wanted to play it cool, keep my guard up, protect myself from the vulnerability that came with admitting out loud what I already knew in my heart.
But this was Serenity. My girl. My sister in everything but blood.
“I think I’m falling for him,” I admitted quietly. “And it scares the hell out of me.”
“Why?”
“Because this is the first time I’ve ever fallen in love. I didn’t get a choice before. I was forced to marry Ahmad.” I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging them. “And I just know how men can be.”
“Thad ain’t Ahmad.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know my cousin.” She picked up her wine again, swirling it thoughtfully. “Thad’s a lot of things. He’s cocky as hell, he moves fast, and he definitely got hoe tendencies—I ain’t gonna lie to you about that. But he’s not a woman beater. That’s not his style.”
“What is his style?”
She shrugged. “He likes pretty things. Likes to show off. Likes having a bad bitch on his arm. But he’s not gonna put his hands on you. That I can promise.”
I wanted to believe her. And honestly, everything I’d experienced with Thad so far backed that up. He’d never raised his voice at me. Never grabbed me too hard. Never made me feel small or afraid. If anything, he made me feel… safe. Protected. Like nothing could touch me when I was with him.
It was a foreign feeling. And maybe that’s why it scared me so much.
“Enough about me,” I said, needing to change the subject. “What’s going on with you and Mega?”
Something shifted in her face. A softness I didn’t see often. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.”
“About what?”
She set her wine down again, and I noticed her hands were trembling slightly. Her pupils were a little too wide, her movements a little too loose. She was high. I’d seen her like this enough times now to recognize the signs.
I didn’t say anything. Not tonight. Once everything with Zainab was settled, I was going to talk to her brothers. They needed to know what was happening with their sister. She needed help. Real help. An intervention.
But that conversation could wait.
“When the lease is up,” Serenity said slowly, “I think I’m gonna go live with Mega.”
My heart sank. I knew this was coming—had felt it building for weeks as she spent more and more nights at his place, came home less and less. But hearing her say it out loud still hurt.
“Oh.” I tried to keep my voice neutral. “Okay.”
“I know it’s sudden. And I know we said we were gonna ride this out together, figure out who we are outside of the bullshit we escaped from.” She reached over and grabbed my hand. “But Mega… he’s good to me, Mehar. He takes care of me. And I think I need that right now.”
I squeezed her hand back, even as worry gnawed at my stomach. Mega was BCC. Dangerous. And Serenity was spiraling—the drugs, the partying, the reckless behavior. Moving in with him wasn’t going to help her get better. It was going to make things worse.
But I couldn’t say that. Not right now. Not when she was looking at me with those wide, hopeful eyes, waiting for my blessing.
“If he makes you happy,” I said carefully, “then I’m happy for you.”
“Really?”
“Really.” I pulled her into a hug, holding her tight. “You’re my sister, Ren. I want you to have everything you deserve.”
She hugged me back, and for a moment it felt like the old days—just the two of us against the world, healing together, growing together.
Then her phone buzzed. She pulled back to check it, and her whole face lit up.
“That’s Mega. He wants me to come through.”
“Go,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’ll be fine.”
“You sure? I don’t want to leave you alone—”
“Thad’s picking me up anyway.” I glanced at my phone. He’d texted ten minutes ago saying he was on his way. “Go be with your man.”
She grinned, already heading toward her room to change. “Look at us. Two bad bitches in love.”
Thad pulled up in his black Audi twenty minutes later.
I slid into the passenger seat, and before I could even close the door, he leaned over and kissed me. Slow and deep, his hand cupping the back of my neck, his tongue sliding against mine until I was breathless.
“Damn,” I whispered when he finally pulled back. “Hello to you too.”
“I missed you.” His eyes roamed over me. I had on a body-con cream sweater dress that hugged my curves perfectly. “You look good.”
“You always say that.”
“Because it’s always true.”
He pulled off, one hand on the wheel, the other finding its way to my thigh. I let it rest there, warm and heavy, as we drove through the city toward his apartment.
We hadn’t been going on actual dates lately. The dinners, the club nights, the romantic gestures—all of that had faded into something simpler. More domestic. These days, we just went to his place, ordered food, watched movies, and ended up in his bed.
I should probably be bothered by that. Should probably demand more effort, more romance, more proof that this was going somewhere.
But honestly? I didn’t care. Being with him felt easy. Natural. Like we’d skipped past all the awkward getting-to-know-you stages and landed somewhere comfortable.
When we got to his apartment, he ordered Thai food and we ate on his couch, my legs draped over his lap while some action movie played in the background. I wasn’t really watching. Just enjoying the feeling of his hand absently stroking my calf, the warmth of his body next to mine.
“You’re quiet tonight,” he said eventually. “What’s on your mind?”
“You ever lose somebody close to you?” I asked softly. I had been thinking about Zainab and Zahara a lot the last few days, especially with Zainab’s arrest.
He was quiet for a moment. “Yeah. My homeboy got killed a few years back. Still think about him.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It is what it is.” He shrugged, but I could see the weight behind his eyes. “What about you?”
I took a deep breath. Let it out slowly.
“My older sister,” I said. “Zahara. She was Zainab’s twin.”
His hand stilled on my leg. “Was?”
“She died. Almost two years ago now.” I stared at the blank TV screen, unable to look at him while I said this. “She was murdered.”
“Damn.” His voice was soft. Sympathetic. “I’m sorry, Mehar. That’s heavy.”
“She and Zainab were identical. Did everything together growing up. I was one of the young ones, always trying to keep up with them. We have a lot siblings. I’m not close to any of them anymore now that I’ve cut contact with my father.
” I smiled sadly at the memory. “But they used to finish each other’s sentences, have whole conversations without saying a word.
Twin stuff. I was jealous of it sometimes, but mostly I just loved watching them together. ”
“Y’all were close. All three of you.”
“As close as we could be growing up in that hellhole.” I felt the familiar sting of tears and blinked them back. “And then one day she was just… gone. Some random act of violence, they said. Wrong place, wrong time.”
“That’s fucked up,” he said quietly.
“That’s what Zainab was arrested for, her murder. But she ain’t do it.”
“Damn. I’m sorry to hear that. Quest’s girl will work it out though.”
“I hope so.” I finally turned to look at him, and his face was so open, so concerned, that something in my chest cracked. “I think about her all the time. Wonder if she was scared. If she suffered. Zainab… she’s never been the same since. Losing your twin is like losing half of yourself.”
He pulled me closer, tucking me against his chest, his arms wrapped around me tight. “C’mere.”
I let him hold me. Let myself sink into the comfort of his embrace, the steady beat of his heart against my ear. For a moment, I could almost forget all the pain, all the loss, all the unanswered questions.
“I got you,” he murmured into my hair. “You hear me? Whatever you need, I got you.”
I closed my eyes and held on tighter.
He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and neither of us said anything for a long time.