Amelia
The clock is ticking. My time is running out. Just two days left until I have to move to Harlington Castle.
My heart tightens as I stand in front of the royal family’s crypt: The place where Philipp now rests.
“Why did you leave me to deal with all this mess alone, hmm?” My voice is quiet and trembling because it hurts.
It hurts so much. He was my best friend.
My safe haven. He was my ticket to freedom, and I was his.
But now I’m being locked in an even smaller cage, carrying the burden of his decisions, while he, somehow, is free. And I resent him for it.
A hidden anger rises, overshadowing my grief, and I have to swallow hard. Tears burn in my eyes, and I don’t know how to handle this pain, this anger, or the dark despair lurking in my heart.
My final thought startles me, sending waves of shame and disgust coursing through me. Philipp didn’t want to die. He wanted to live. But he was determined to hide himself, his desires, and who he truly was. To keep it all a secret from the world.
Slowly, I sink to the ground, sitting cross-legged in front of the mausoleum as tears stream down my face.
When did I become so bitter? When did my thoughts turn so dark?
“I’m sorry, Phil. Truly. If I could…”
“What exactly are you sorry for, Goldilocks? Hmm? Go on, share it with your future husband.”
Nicolas’s rough voice is right at my ear, and I let out a scream. Startled to my core, I leap to my feet and try to move away. But he’s faster. He grabs me, pulling me against his chest.
The sudden contact, the feel of his muscular arms around my hips, around my body, sends a shiver down my spine, leaving me more than a little unsettled.
“Ahhh, damn it. Are you insane? What the hell are you doing?” I gasp, both angry and breathless, as his storm-gray eyes bore into mine, holding me captive. And I wonder if his eyes were always this mesmerizing.
He smells like leather and something else I can’t place. But, God, it smells good. So damn good.
Lately, I’ve flinched from touch, especially unexpected and uninvited ones, but his grip is gentle, not hurting me. So, I stay still—at least, that’s what I tell myself.
“Why so jumpy, Goldilocks? Got something to hide? It’s just me, your new ticket to the crown,” he purrs, an arrogant smirk curling on his lips.
Excuse me? Ticket to the crown?
He…That…
The ticking, seething mass inside me erupts with a force I can’t control.
“Ticket to the crown? THAT’S what you think of me?
You hypocritical, arrogant asshole! I loved your brother.
He was my best friend. He was better than all of us combined.
You really think I care about that fucking crown?
The fuck I do. I couldn’t care less! I don’t want to be queen, nor do I want anything else from you.
I want Philipp back. I want the pain to stop.
I don’t want to hurt anymore. But I made him a promise, and I intend to keep it.
So shove your crown up your arrogant, self-righteous ass and leave me alone. ”
I can’t hold back the sob burning in my throat. I punch Nicolas in the chest to break free from his grip and stumble backward.
“Just leave me alone. In two days, I’ll be whatever everyone expects me to be. Until then, stay out of my way. I don’t want you. I don’t want any of this.”
Raising one hand defensively, I wipe my eyes with the other. Nicolas stands stiffly, his face unreadable, but his fists are clenched.
Tall and broad, with disheveled dark hair and that leather jacket, he looks dangerous. Dangerously handsome.
Instinctively, I step farther away, unsure of him, which only unsettles me more. So, I do the only thing that feels right in that moment. I turn and walk away.
Away from him.
Away from all this mess I never wanted.
But the emotions—the fear, the grief—follow me like a shadow.
I can feel Nicolas’s gaze burning into my back, but I don’t turn around. I disappear into the bushes, heading toward the castle park.
Panting and gasping for air, I dart out through the massive gate separating the park from the royal cemetery and hurry to my car.
I’m alone here. My brother doesn’t know where I am, and I have no intention of returning to Perlington House anytime soon.
Fumbling, I pull my phone from my pocket and tap on Lizzy’s contact. I need my best friend.
“Lia, hey—”
I cut her off immediately.
“Can we meet? Now? I… please,” I beg her, because I… I feel so… I don’t even know. It’s all too much, and I want to crawl out of my own skin.
Suddenly, the weight of what I have to do in two days, what is expected of me, hits me like a bomb. It takes my breath away, and I feel like I’m drowning in my own panic.
“Meet me at the lake in half an hour. I’m on my way.”
I nod, even though she can’t see me, but she’s already hung up.
My body is buzzing as I open my car door with trembling fingers and slide inside.
How dare he say something like that? How dare he label me a title-chaser? He doesn’t know me at all.
But you don’t know him, either, my inner voice chimes in smugly. I shove the thought aside. I don’t want to hear it. He’s a jerk.
I start the engine, and as I glance in the rearview mirror, I spot a black motorcycle, and its rider, parked at the far exit of the park. Nicolas.
It dawns on me that he and Philipp must have seen each other far more often than I thought. But I’m in no mood for rational thinking or arguments right now. I’m far too upset.
My heart skips a beat, and my anger at him, and at the whole situation, flares up again.
I start the car, lift my chin defiantly, and flip him the middle finger as I drive past, then step on the gas. I speed through the gate faster than I should, ignoring the guards shaking their heads. Normally, I’d be embarrassed, but I just need to get away.
Twenty minutes later, I’m out of the city and turning onto the gravel road leading to Lizzy and my lake.
It’s our sanctuary, secluded and peaceful, where no one else goes.
It’s not large, but it’s beautiful, hidden within a grove of birch trees.
The grove itself has an incredible charm, with its white trunks and branches swaying in the wind, inviting you to sit there for hours.
As the trees thin out, you can see the small, pebbled beach leading to the shimmering blue of the lake.
On the accessible side, there’s a weeping willow where I always sit, enjoying the view. It’s my place to find peace.
When I park next to Lizzy’s baby-pink Audi, I can’t help but smile. She loves that color and insisted on her car being painted exactly like this. In that regard, she’s truly a princess.
The gravel crunches under my soles as I make my way to the willow. Lizzy is already sitting beneath it with two coffee cups, scrutinizing me as I approach.
“What happened?” she asks immediately, noticing my trembling fingers as she hands me one of the cups. I take it from her with a grateful nod.
So much for calming down.
Lizzy knows exactly how shaken I am. With a sigh, I sink onto the grass beside her, leaning back against the trunk.
“Everything. Or more accurately, your brother. Or the fact that in two days, I’ll be moving into that castle, which suddenly feels way too small, dark, and suffocating,” I admit helplessly, shrugging because I can’t even explain the chaos inside me.
“My brother?” Of course, that’s the first thing she picks up on, and I exhale sharply.
“I was at Phil’s grave. I wanted… I wanted to talk to him, clear my head. Then Nicolas showed up out of nowhere and scared the shit out of me, just to smugly inform me that I’m some kind of title-chaser. He made it sound like I only cared about becoming queen.”
I’ve worked myself up again, my heart racing wildly. The very thought of what he implied makes my blood boil.
“Yep, that definitely sounds like my dear brother,” she says dryly, letting out a sigh.
“Look, I’m not trying to defend him, but Phil and Nicolas were close.
Really close, even if it didn’t seem that way to you.
They were brothers, Lia, and Nicolas loved Phil.
He’s not handling his death well, not that it excuses his behavior.
He can be a real asshole when he wants to be. ”
I snort.
“Clearly, he wants to be an asshole around me. And it’s hard to believe they were close.
Phil barely mentioned him. Nicolas was never around, and when he was, he usually caused trouble that Phil had to bail him out of,” I retort stubbornly.
Because I don’t want to believe that Nicolas isn’t as bad as he seems. And I don’t want to believe that Phil kept their close relationship from me.
That thought stings, and I can’t make sense of it.
Lizzy notices my internal struggle and smiles sympathetically.
“Phil protected Nicolas like a treasure, because he knew him well enough to understand everything he’d been through.
And no, he didn’t mean to hurt you by keeping how often they saw each other a secret.
But let’s be honest, Lia. You formed your opinion about Nicolas a long time ago.
Would you have believed Phil if he’d tried to convince you otherwise? ”
Her knowing gaze pierces me, and I resist it with all my might.
That’s not who I am.
Yes, you did exactly that, retorts my impulsive inner voice, and I’d love nothing more than to silence it. Because damn it, they’re both right.
“No. No, I wouldn’t have. I’m not even doing it now,” I admit through gritted teeth, begrudgingly conceding, and Lizzy bursts into laughter.
“Your dentist is going to love you if you keep clenching your jaw like that. But don’t worry, I get it. Nicolas is… difficult.”
I let out a derisive snort, unwilling to give him even an inch. Not after his little stunt earlier.
“Okay, okay, very difficult. But you’re going to have to find a way to deal with him. And besides, this is your chance to finally get out of Perlington House. Isn’t that still your main goal?"
Lizzy leans back against the tree trunk, sipping her latte macchiato, studying me closely.
“Yes. Yes, it is. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to play the obedient little wife when your brother drives me insane just by existing,” I confess, looking at her helplessly.
I have no idea how to handle this situation or my erratic, impulsive emotions.
Yes, I need to get away from Henry, but at what cost?
“You know what? Let’s leave all this crap behind us for today and go out.
The crew hasn’t seen us in forever, and I know for a fact they’ll be at Purge tonight.
Let’s blow off some steam and clear your head, hmm?
” She looks at me with a mischievous sparkle in her gray eyes.
“Yes? Yes? Yes? Come on, Lia,” she pleads, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Okay, okay, but only because you mentioned the kids,” I give in with a sigh.
Lizzy and I volunteer to work with former street kids, now part of a royal-sponsored program for homeless youth.
We teach them dance—street dance, shuffle, ballet, the works.
I studied social work, which prepared me well for future queenly responsibilities, but my passion outside of books has always been dance.
Same with Lizzy. A few of the former program participants often hang out at Purge.
“Yes!” She claps her hands in excitement but accidentally spills her coffee, letting out a startled yelp as her pants get soaked.
“Oh no, my beautiful coffee,” she wails dramatically, and I burst out laughing. Of course, her grief is for the latte, not her jeans.
“It’s fine. You’ll drink ten more before we even head out.
I’ll call Henry and tell him I’m staying at your place.
Otherwise, he’ll try to forbid it again.
If I say I’m staying at the castle, he won’t object.
No need for him to know we’re going out.
” A buzz of anticipation stirs in my stomach, excitement humming through me.
The thought of an evening without overthinking—without Henry—is too tempting to resist.
“Then let’s go, Lady Perlington. Time to pick out an outfit for the evening. Who knows? Maybe you’ll even find someone to have a little fun with,” she teases with a wink, and I groan.
“Just because my sex life has been nonexistent for MONTHS doesn’t mean you get to play matchmaker. Don’t even think about it,” I warn, raising a finger but unable to hide my smirk.
“There’s nothing wrong with a good, satisfying sex life, my dear. Quite the opposite. You’ll see. Now let’s go. We have a mission.”
She bounces to her car, and I follow her with a sigh. Somehow, I have the distinct feeling this night is going to be unforgettable.