Chapter 16 – Oliver
COULD IT BE?
OLIVER
Vale is radiant. I knew when she locked up in my arms I’d have to touch her.
She was wound up so tight I knew she’d go over the edge if I gave in.
As much as I want to deny this living, breathing thing between us, I can’t.
I’m drawn to her, obsessed. I want it all even though I know it’s not a good idea.
I’ve never wanted a virgin before. What could I offer them?
One night of pleasure, then I’d be gone.
So I left the virgins to better men. She’s different though, drawing me in, forcing me to see all that wild, untamed beauty.
I’m not capable of looking away. I have very little control with her because I want to give in.
Of course I want to push her away too. I want to keep her safe.
It’s that duality that made me offer to teach her.
I know she isn’t broken. I know she can do it.
I also know her mind was racing and she struggles to stay in the moment.
I want to press her down into that blanket, to shove my cock so deep inside her that she’ll lose herself and scream like a banshee. I want to drop her at her door, her voice so hoarse she can barely speak.
When Vale lets go, she becomes her true self.
She’s a goddess upon wings of fire. She burns everything around her.
Now that I’ve been burned in that fire, nothing feels as good, nothing tastes as sweet.
No amount of feeding has calmed the hunger since meeting her, not until last night when she gave me her essence.
She got off by forcing her energy into me.
It was so powerful I almost came as she filled me to the brim.
It’s the first time I’ve felt full in a long time.
Does she understand what she’s doing? There’s no evidence she even realizes what she’s doing.
The way she forces it inside me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
It’s warm, like the flames that flash in her eyes.
It vibrates with her release, bursting inside me.
What is she? Could she be a witch? Maybe a hybrid like me.
I recognize vampires, witches, and Lilu by their aura energy.
We recognize each other, but Vale doesn’t have that. She feels like a mortal.
I’m forcing her to watch me now as her body calms. At this point I wonder if her cunt is so wet it’s soaking through those tight jeans. I want all that slippery wetness. It’s mine.
“What if I told you I wasn’t done with you yet? What if I told you I need to make you come again?” The fact is I need more. I want to gorge on her pleasure again and again. Is this what it feels like to be addicted to a Lilu?
Vale smiles and drops back onto the blanket. She stares up at the sky, her legs spread, with one propped up on my thigh. She huffs out a breath as she watches the heavens. I keep touching her, stroking up her calf to her knee, then back down.
She tugs her tank top down to cover her breasts, but she doesn’t pull it all the way down.
I can still see her abdomen with that little dip above her navel—I hunger to taste it with my tongue—and her pants are still open, revealing the top of those white lace panties. The sight makes my cock twitch.
Does she understand how beautiful she is? My heart feels like it’s being crushed when I look at her. I ache for her. I want to do dirty, unspeakable, fucked up things to her. Dammit! I wish she was mine.
She breaks the silence with a soft whisper. “I don’t think you proved me wrong. If it weren’t with you, I wouldn’t have been able to. I don’t want to need you like this, but I do and that scares me, so much.”
I lift her leg and lay it down gently on the blanket.
I lie beside her on my back. It’s not long before I see a meteor burst across the sky.
They burn so hot, so bright for such a short period of time, then they’re gone, their light snuffed out.
Just like mortals. Gone. My worst nightmare is witnessing Vale’s light burn out.
I grab her right hand in my left, then slide my fingers between hers.
I hear her quick intake of breath. Why has no one ever held her hand?
“I know you don’t believe me, but I swear you’re not broken.
You don’t need me, not really. You’re just as you should be,” I say to reassure her, but she doesn’t look at me.
“Thank you.”
I rub my thumb over the joint of her thumb. Her fingers are so delicate against my own. She squeezes my hand in hers.
“Are there so many meteors every night?” I ask as I run the tip of my finger up and down her arm, then back to her wrist.
“No.” Her voice is a whisper at first, then she clears her throat. “I’ve never seen so many on the same night. It’s beautiful.”
I press my palm over her right hip, feeling her hip bone protruding slightly. I inch my hand closer to her navel, then run my thumb over that beautiful dip. Her stomach muscles clench.
“Vale,” I say and let her name hover in the air for a moment. “Thank you for bringing me tonight.” My hand moves closer to her ribs, and I feel each rung. Her body is a masterpiece, her skin like silk. I want to touch and taste every single inch.
She turns away from me and tries to catch her breath. It’s what she always does, she tries to calm any emotion instead of just letting it happen. It’s like everything feels too much for her. I wish she didn’t feel that way with me.
“You’re welcome.”
I slide closer and wrap my arms around her, pulling her into me. God forgive me, but she feels perfect in my arms. She fits so well, as if she was built only for me. I spread my hand out against her stomach and pull her closer still.
“You’re not close enough,” I whisper into her hair.
“It's never enough. Never close enough. I always want more. I know I shouldn’t want you like this. It’s not right to want anyone like this. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” I hate it that she feels the need to apologize for wanting me.
I burrow my face into her long hair, taking deep breaths of her scent.
She smells like fragrant gardenias and springtime.
I steal her into my lungs. “Don’t apologize for wanting me.
I’m not sorry for wanting you. I’m not sorry for touching you.
I’m only afraid I’ll go too far.” I nuzzle into her neck.
“Never apologize for wanting me. You must know I want you just as much. I need you just as much. I ache for you just as much.”
I grind my hips against her ass so she can feel how hard I am for her.
I’m a bastard because I want to tempt her.
She needs to run away and forget me. I still my hips before I get carried away.
I don’t know if I’d be able to stop myself.
My monster is so close to the surface, stealing my resolve to leave her alone.
“Why do you think it’s wrong to want me?”
“I’m a demon,” she whispers, and it’s the last thing I could imagine coming from her lips.
“What do you mean?” I tense up beside her. Is she like me? Is it possible?
She takes a moment to think before she explains. I wish she didn’t. I’m losing my mind, needing to know if we’re the same. By the time she starts talking, I want to rip out my own hair.
“Women are the downfall of man. I am capable of monstrous things.
I hold the seed of original sin inside me.
I am ungodly for my desires. I am vile for my pride.
I am built to attract men to their own destruction, to lose their immortal soul.
My joy is darkness. I should turn away, to deny myself any earthly pleasures.
I am the fire of destruction. I am a devil, a demon, a muse to sin.
“Every thought about you is a sin. Lust is a sin. The way I want you is monstrous because it inspires you to get farther from the light of God. My flesh is to tempt you. My body a vessel of evil because I am a woman.”
I don’t know what to say when she finishes. I don’t know if she believes it or if it’s something she’s parroting back to me. “Who told you that?” I ask, but I know exactly who told her this bullshit.
“It was a week before my sixth birthday, the first time he tried to take the demon out. He told me a story about innocent Adam and the darkness of Eve. How women were soulless creatures, created to inspire darkness, jealousy, and pain. So he took everything away, even my breath for a time. He took the stars in the skies. He took my mother when she disagreed. He broke her, so she’d stand there silently at his side while he spewed such hatred toward me, toward other women.
“‘You must be silent. You must not desire. Joy is evidence of your sin. You must not touch a man until he has made you his wife. You must not look at a man who is not your husband. You must not leave the house unchaperoned. You must force all those feelings down because it is the devil tempting you. It is the fires of Hell that burn you trying to escape. If you feel that joy, the fires escape. You will destroy the world if I don’t take it out of you.’”
She sounds so lost it’s as if she’s not here with me.
I know what trauma is like, the memories, and how one moment you’re present and the next it feels like you’re there in the past, experiencing it all over again.
Right now, she’s seeing him preaching this bullshit to her, feeling the weight of every sinner on her shoulders. I hate it.
“I am the flame which engulfs the world.”
When she finishes, my heart breaks for her. What kind of father could tell their child such horror? To make them believe they’re a demon because of what’s between their legs. No wonder she searches the stars. She’s searching for a way out, to escape.
I hold her tightly in my arms as her spine arches back into me. Her hips press harder against mine.
“You feel so good, Oliver. You feel a lot like joy, and you know what that means, right? It must be wrong. It must be sinful to want you. The things I want are definitely sinful.”