Chapter 53 – Asmodeus
A LOVE LIKE THAT
ASMODEUS
Ifloat inside the veil between worlds, just outside of their reality. I watch them. I spy on that precious, most beautiful explosion when two halves finally collide, becoming one. The power radiates out of them and across the cosmos. Such beautiful chaos.
Their love puts a smile on my face and brings tears to my eyes.
I understand now why Lucifer coveted those souls so much.
I understand why he yearned for that gift.
My brother Lucy, ever the asshole, was one lucky angel.
He was promised a soul, a happily-ever-after of sorts.
The Light thought he was entitled to it.
We weren’t all promised such a glorious fate.
Some of us held down the fort and held out hope that we’d be blessed as well.
Not me though. The woman I loved, she had no soul.
I’d loved her before time existed. I held out hope that one day we would be mated, though it only happened to the soul blessed.
I’ve waited for so long. I’ve loved her from the shadows.
I’ve protected our offspring. I’ve given them everything, even though she hates me.
I take one last look at Vale and Ash, my light shining in both of them. I feel their connection in my heart, and it makes me so happy. I hope it’s enough. I hope they’re brave and strong in their love, so they can survive their future trials. For there will undoubtedly be many.
I regret nothing. I don’t regret parting with a bit of my light for their happiness.
I don’t regret bringing her back. To see this beautiful match is worth every torture, every pain it’s brought me.
You see, my angelic brothers believe I’m mad.
They believe I brought her back without care for them and their well-being.
The Angel Killer, the balancing fire, the annihilator, the limb of Asherah.
There are only two beings who can unmake angels.
The Light, which created them, and the wife Asherah, who was the embodiment of chaos.
Before the goddess Asherah ceased to be, she created an immortal.
They had within them the power of cleansing fire.
A power so strong, so feared that the entire supernatural world had been afraid of them at one time.
Now they were little more than legend, forgotten long ago.
Even though they were immortal, they often died very human deaths.
Their magic was strong, but their bodies were not.
If they weren’t burned to ashes after death, they wouldn’t be reborn.
They were lost so long ago, hunted to extinction.
Asherah was left to balance the scales, but she had no worshippers, and lost her strength, ceasing to exist like so many other gods.
Her last gifts were to Lilith, the blood, creating the first vampire and the Angel Killers, her fire.
My grandson Ashmodai was fated to the last one, but she was gone with no memory of what she’d been. Her soul was floating in the veil, trapped and hidden there by someone or something. She was lost until I found her.
I searched for a vessel for her soul, and it was fortuitous when a human man, Phillip Granger, began to call my name, worshipping me as if I was some god.
Honestly, it disgusts me how he drew these humans from the Light to worship someone he compared to a devil.
His beliefs gained traction though, and he was able to form a cult.
Then he married a pretty young premed student named Shannon Dalton from Silver Springs, Georgia.
Shannon was unique, she carried vampire genes, the blood of Asherah. Not enough to turn but enough that she could carry Vale to term and birth her back into the world.
I did all I could to bring her back for Ashmodai.
I knew he’d find her in the end because that’s how mates are.
They find each other because they must. Still, I did all I could to steer them to each other.
They must be complete, and he’d struggled for too long without her.
The soul was never meant to be split. It was a punishment to all immortals, that came with such an amazing side effect, fated mates.
Their curse became their salvation. The bond so strong when two beings shared one soul.
I left the veil, inspired by their new bond.
I’ll see my love. It’s been a few weeks since I visited her, but her silence is painful to behold.
“My beautiful Lilith, I’ve missed you,” I speak into the darkness.
I unveil the halo I try to keep hidden in the mortal world, and it lights up the large tomb.
“My love, your grandson is now bonded to his mate. I made sure of their union before coming here. I thought you would want to know. I hope this news gives you some happiness.”
Lilith has slept for a thousand years. Her porcelain skin wraps tightly around her bones.
She’s starving herself, trying to find a peace the Light may never grant her.
Her beautiful hair continues to grow, even in her self-imposed exile.
It’s so long it spills over the edge of her stone resting place.
Once it had been as red as fresh blood, but now it’s dull like dried straw.
I hold out my palm and call the dust around her.
It’s much easier to manifest from something, rather than nothing.
I mold the matter, creating a hairbrush, then run it through the long strands, getting the tangles out.
Afterward, I plait it for her again. I’ve done it many times.
I do try to care for my Lilith’s earthly body even when she will not.
I call fresh water and a soft cloth and rinse the dust from her skin while tears fill my eyes.
“I think the first time I cried was when you birthed our son. Those months before his birth and after were the happiest of my existence. I miss the days when you allowed me to love you, Lilith. You know, I still love you. I wish you would come back to me.”
I tell her of Tiberius and his granddaughter Lily, who was named after her. I tell her of Lais and all the beautiful grandchildren she bore. I tell her how she’ll be a great-grandmother again when Gabriella gives birth.
“I saw Ash and Vale unite. It made me long to be at your side. I don’t need a soul to know that you’re the only woman I’ll ever love.
One hundred thousand years could pass between us and I’d still live with the hope of belonging to you again.
I’ll always be here, waiting for you. I’ll always watch over our children. I swear it.”
I promised her, every time she slept for long periods, that I’d watch over them. I have done my best, hoping the choices I’ve made will be looked upon kindly by her when her eyes open again. I want her to look at me with love again.
It takes hours to cleanse her body of dust, but in truth I slow my actions purposely.
Her hair braided and secured, I clip and file her nails.
I run floral oils into her skin so it doesn’t crack.
With every touch my heart breaks. I press my ear to her chest, listening for a heartbeat to thunder to life.
It still beats, but it’s been so long since she’s fed that I don’t know when the thump will come.
I’ve been here for hours now and not heard it beat, not even a shallow breath.
“I’m worried, for this body is much worse for wear than it has been in the past. How long must you do this?” I ask as I lean in over her face, watching and waiting for her to inhale.
My tears fall on her face, dripping down over the extreme angles of her emaciated cheekbones. They slide across her skin, all the way to her mouth, where they disappear through her barely parted lips. She drinks my pain.
“Will you feed on my tears, dearest Lilith?”
I press my lips against hers. I breathe deep, trying to pull her scent into my lungs, but her blood isn’t flowing. It’s only dust in her veins and no matter how I wish she’d awaken, she hasn’t in so long. She’s been asleep for much longer this time.
“When you come back, will you please love me again? Please love me,” I cry over her, hoping my tears revive her. “Dammit, Lilith! I love you. Don’t leave me. Please wake up.”
I grab her head in my hands, watching. Once she woke up by my very presence alone because her hatred burned so brightly. I’d fucked everything up. She’s hated me for so much longer than she’d ever loved me. But I wouldn’t give up, I couldn’t. She was as much a part of me as the Light.
“I need you in this world,” I sigh.
I should leave her here. This is what she wanted.
She wants to sleep. But conflict is coming and she has to open her eyes.
I do the thing that will make her hate me even more than when she went to sleep.
I tear into the meat of my hand with my teeth.
I make it hurt as punishment for what I do now.
I pry her lips apart with my thumb, just enough, and drip the golden ichor into her mouth.
I watch as it spills between her lips. I’m desperate for her to wake. The world needs her. I need her.
Drastic changes happen over her body as the ichor fills each cell, healing all that’d been broken, all that’d been starved.
Her cheeks already look much less hollow.
I look down at her hips. Before they looked like jagged knives about to burst through her delicate skin. Now her flesh is filling with life.
By the time I look back up at her face, I notice the long braid is the color of blood once more.
My beautiful Lilith will come back. Her face is no longer that of sunken death.
Her plump lips fill with blood, her cheeks fill out and flush rosy.
Every moment I watch she becomes more beautiful.
She’s the most exquisite female to ever be created, all pale in comparison to her.