Chapter 58 #2
His fingers catch my wrist. “Be careful, whatever it is you intend on doing on All Coins Day. Even if he’s busy, he has eyes everywhere.”
“I know,” I murmur, smoothing my clothes. “But we’re too close to finishing this to back down now.” I head for the door.
“Do you know yet what you will say?” he asks suddenly.
I pause at the door. “I have ideas, but I don’t know the exact wording, yet.”
Kaelis stands slowly; our eyes meet, and there’s a sudden weight in the air. “Tell me. Before you make the wish, tell me what you’ll say.” He swallows hard. “I…I’ll forget anyway, won’t I?”
The words hit like an arrow straight to my heart, stealing my breath, pain flooding my body. Kaelis must see it, because he gives a tired and sad smile. We’ve both been avoiding this truth.
“I won’t be a Worldkeeper, and I can’t be the one to make the wish, so I’ll forget.” He shrugs like it’s nothing, even though we both know it’s anything but.
“I could ask them,” I blurt.
“To induct me?” He blinks. “They’ll never agree.”
“I could get one of the cards required for induction,” I persist. Being confronted with the idea of him forgetting has me cold all over. “We’ll do it in secret.”
“Clara—”
“Then we can—”
“Clara.” He’s crossed to grab my shoulders, stopping my hasty words. His hands slide down my arms, finding mine, our fingers lacing together. “It’s all right.”
It’s not. But I don’t have an opening to say it. Not when he’s speaking so quickly. Not when his resignation is so heavy.
“All I want is for you to tell me before it happens. It won’t matter in the end…But I want to know, if only for a short while, what awaits me in a new world order.”
I give a slight nod. “I will, I promise.”
He hooks my chin and lifts it to meet his eyes. “Clara, don’t worry. I have loved you in every world. There is no version of me that is not devoted to all of you. You are the essence of my being. That is our immutable destiny.”
“You truly believe that.” It’s not a question because I see it on his face.
“Never have I believed in anything more.” He releases me.
Even though I want to sink into him, I force myself to leave.
There’s work to be done. Places to be. And the idea of not having him at my side…
as the Kaelis I know…is so crushing that if I don’t force myself to leave and keep moving forward, then I might just curl up in his room and pretend nothing else exists.
Rain dampens the academy, bringing with it the faint smell of salt from the sea that the storm clouds roll in from.
I cross through one of the cloistered halls that circle the large central greenhouse and stare at my reflection in the misty glass.
It’s probably one of the last proper storms we’ll have until winter sets in and snow creeps down from the mountains.
Students move with purpose, murmuring among themselves, talking about their preparations for All Coins Day. I grow more numb with each passing hour, knowing what that day will mean—all I will lose and gain.
“She’s going to be doubling her force.” I recognize the speaker: Alor. “We’ll be protected, don’t worry.”
I keep my eyes focused ahead, barely slowing my pace as Alor and the other student come up behind me.
“I wish they’d just find her already,” the other student mutters.
“Emilia says she’s close. I’m sure she is.”
They pass me, and soon the conversation is beyond my hearing. I stare warily in the direction Alor went for only a second before continuing down a different passage.
Vaduin doesn’t look surprised to see me when I open the door to his office.
“Gregor is moving today,” he says as I shut the door. “Sorza went out ahead to scout for him.”
I pause. Everything in me says to find out where they are and offer whatever help I can. But I refrain. This is his goal. And I don’t want to risk my interference impacting his ability to join the Worldkeepers.
“I hope it goes well,” I say calmly. “But I’m sure it will. Gregor is good at what he does, and Sorza is nothing if not resourceful.”
“Bristara trained him well.” Vaduin nods. “And Sorza”—he chuckles—“in some ways her audacity reminds me of myself.”
“All other preparations for initiation going smoothly, then?” I ask.
“We will be ready.” The time is almost here…“Your sister?”
“She’s making progress.” It’s all I can say.
Thal has been working with her regularly.
She speaks now when she’s not under the influence of their card.
Very little, and only the bare minimum. But she does speak.
“There’s something else I’m here for.” His eyes flick up to mine.
“Do you know of a book titled Cornerstones of the Minor Arcana?”
It’s a fraction of a second. A blink. But he tenses ever so slightly. A dilation in his pupils and a short inhale, cut short, that he can’t hide.
“You do.” I’m not sure if he would’ve denied it, but I speak before he has the chance.
“It’s an old book.”
I cross and sit on the other side of his cluttered desk. “Is it as basic as the title sounds?”
“At its time, yes. But now? It might be considered revolutionary.”
“Oh?”
“From what I’ve heard, it contains something about the idea that there are these ‘cornerstones’ to the Minor Arcana that could make them powerful enough to challenge a Major.”
I strum my fingers on the armrest of my chair. What’s Ravin’s play here? To find something to challenge the summoning of the World? It’s the only thing I can think of.
“Where would this book be?” I ask.
“I’ve only seen mentions of it in the footnotes of a few ancient tomes.
” So it’s important enough that Vaduin has gone looking for it…
Curious. “The only place I know it would have been is in the great library of Clan Hermit. But not much is left there now, and what remains is forbidden by the crown.”
It’s possible, then, that Ravin brought it up merely to annoy Kaelis and poke at a sensitive spot…
“Why?” Vaduin gives me a pointed look. He gave me information without question. I’ve learned there is an unspoken agreement between us—knowledge for knowledge.
“Ravin is looking for it.” A frown tugs on the corners of his lips at that information. “Do you know why that might be?”
After a long moment of consideration, he shakes his head. “Can’t say I can think of a reason. It is an esoteric text and largely regarded as inaccurate by more modern Arcanists, its theories refuted.”
I stand. “If you think of anything more about it, let me know. If Ravin is after it, then it can’t be good.”
He nods in agreement, and I leave. To tend to my sister. And whatever state Gregor returns in from this mission I’ve given him.
I go down to Arina’s room to wait, relieving the Worldkeeper who had been tending to her with genuine thanks. Then I set to pacing. The light is dim when the door finally opens again. I turn, heart in my throat as I lay eyes on Gregor.