Chapter 36
I nod, squaring my shoulders. Despite the quiver in my belly, an ember of resolve ignites inside me.
I may love Victor Rogan and he may love me. I may be carrying his son, but we are not meant to be together in this life.
I need to think with my head and not with my heart, for my own good as well as the good of my child.
“Let’s begin,” Alara says. “I want you to close your eyes, feel the child growing within you, feel his needs. Feel your own needs, the physical needs and not the emotional. This is very important, Hannah, if you’re to succeed in what you were meant to do.”
My eyes pop open. “What I’m meant to do?”
“Take your father’s place on the throne, of course.”
“It’s not a throne I ever wanted.”
“It’s not a throne he ever wanted either, as you well know. But it is your fate, your destiny. And that of the child within you.”
“My child will be more wolf than vampire. Will our people accept him?”
“That is far in the future,” Alara says. “Please. Let’s concentrate on getting your craving under control.”
I have so many questions, but I agree with Alara. Rogan is not mine, and I must no longer yearn for his blood. I let out a breath, and the air shifts around us. My pulse syncs with the rhythm of the torches’ crackle, and I force my mind to focus.
It’s far from easy, but after a few more breaths, I think of my son and he gives me strength.
“Control,” I say softly, closing my eyes.
Though the memories of Rogan’s blood claw at my conscience, I shove them back, locking them away in a mental vault fortified with steel will.
Tonight, I am not prey to the beast.
Tonight, I am its tamer.
I open my eyes. Alara circles me like a hawk, her eyes never leaving mine.
“Your body is a vessel for ancient power, Hannah, as is the child growing within you. Your son has a special purpose in this life, and for the next several months, he depends solely on you for his existence. Use that. Use the love you have for this unborn child conceived in love if not fate. For he was conceived in a fate of a different kind.”
I lift my eyebrows, but she continues.
“Use that love to control your mind. To command your mind. To do what both you and your child need.”
Sweat beads at my brow as I tamp down the hunger.
“You need blood to nourish your body,” Alara continues. “Concentrate on the physical need.” She takes a silver chalice from a nearby stone table and brings it to me. “Drink, Hannah. Drink what your body and the body of your child need.”
I tremble as I retrieve the chalice from Alara and bring it my lips.
“Drink,” she says again.
I take a tentative sip of the blood in the chalice. It’s dark and delicious, with a lusty blackberry undertone.
But it’s not wolf blood.
I draw in a breath and take another drink.
I let it flow down my throat, nourishing my son and me.
I allow it to strengthen our bodies, nurture our souls.
“It will take some time,” Alara says, “but you now know that you do not require the wolf’s blood for you and your son to survive. It will get easier.”
I swallow another sip and then nod, even though I have my doubts.
“Do not doubt,” Alara says harshly.
“Are you a mind reader now?”
She shakes her head. “No. Just intuitive. Clairvoyance is not an ancient power of our people.”
“What is that power, then?” I ask.
“You will learn all about it,” she replies, “in due time.”