19. Sloan
Chapter nineteen
Sloan
T he door hits the wall with an ear-splitting bang as Blake shoves it open with his back. It’s only after I take a moment to recover that I register why he’s coming in ass first.
“Oh my God, what did you do?” I jump up to try and stop the door from knocking him off balance as it swings dangerously close to the crutches supporting his weight.
“I slid out on a turn and was stupid enough to try to save myself from falling. Sprained my ankle.” He hobbles to one of the chairs in the reception area and drops heavily onto it, propping a wrapped foot on the adjacent chair.
“Why is trying not to fall stupid?” I take the crutches and prop them against the wall.
“Any time you put your foot down to stop a fall, chances are something’s gonna bend in the wrong direction. It’s a lot easier to recover from cuts and bruises than a sprain, so I should’ve just kept my foot on the pedal and landed on my leg.”
I’m not a biker but I can’t really argue with that logic.
“Why are you even here? You shouldn’t be walking around.” I hover over him, hands on my hips.
“I wanted to tell the kids in person why I couldn't ride with them for a few days, and then I just wanted to sit down so I figured I’d pop in here.”
I can’t help rolling my eyes despite the fact it was a nice gesture to meet with the kids.
“How bad is it? What did the doctor say?”
“Haven’t been to one yet.” He runs a hand through his already disheveled hair.
“Where’d the crutches come from then?”
“Leftover from a knee surgery I had a few years back. I figured they’d come in handy again at some point.” He flashes me a mischievous smile. Leave it to Blake to be proud of having the foresight to predict he’d get injured again.
“Mind if I check it out?” I kneel down, anticipating no resistance.
“Sure.”
I gingerly undo the Ace bandage to uncover a puffy purple ankle. Though the color is garish, it’s actually a sign of healing. The swelling suggests it’s still too tender to touch, so I carefully wrap it again.
“You’re not gonna massage it? I thought injuries were your specialty?”
“Rehabbing is my specialty.” Shooting him a withering look, I bind the bandage. “You don’t massage injuries. If I touch it right now, you’ll be howling in pain.”
“What’d you ask to see it for then?”
“Curiosity.”
“You enjoy seeing me injured?” he pouts.
“I enjoy seeing the transition from injured to healthy.” I toss him a wicked smile of my own.
“Sadist,” he mumbles under his breath.
“Is that any way to talk to the guy who’s going to help you fix this? ”
“I meant savior .”
“That’s better.” Sealing the wrap around his ankle, I drag a chair in front of the one he’s sprawled in and prop up his foot. “Stay here. I’m going to grab some ice and then we’ll talk about a plan to get you back to normal.”
I dash over to the training center, relieved to find it empty so I don’t have to ask permission or justify taking several cooling packs; the kind that turn cold when you crack them open. Then I head back to the spa and cover Blake’s ankle.
“Where’d the fancy ice come from?” He lifts his chin toward the stack of supplies sitting next to where I’m kneeling on the floor.
“The training center.” I secure the pack to his ankle with an Ace wrap.
“Oh. I thought maybe you grabbed it from your fancy new digs upstairs.” His eyes sparkle with mischief.
Shit .
“You know,” he continues, biting back a grin. “When we talked about this client you had a thing for you failed to mention he’s also our boss, and you literally had him by the balls. And here I thought I was the one flirting with disaster by hooking up with the customers. You’re crazier than I gave you credit for.”
“Ugh, please don’t start.” I close my eyes and exhale heavily. “It’s bad enough the whole town is probably speculating, I don’t need my friends to start in on it, too.”
“Sorry.” He has the decency to dip his head in a show of guilt. “But seriously, you had to know talk would start when you moved into the same building as him. A building no other employee lives in.”
“I did.” I sink back on my heels.
“Then why do it?” His eyes soften as he searches my face, as if the answer he’s looking for is written there .
“Honestly, it was an opportunity to see how Carter really feels. Whether he just wanted the convenience of having me close or whether he wanted me .” My shoulders lift in a lame attempt to justify my thought process.
“And?”
“I think he wants me.” I bite my lower lip and dip my head, bracing for more skepticism.
“You think ?”
“Well, we haven’t made any promises or anything, but it’s not all sex between us if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“I was,” Blake confirms. “But Sloan, as long as the two of you hibernate up here in his fancy apartment, it kind of is just sex. Or that’s how it will look anyway.”
He’s not telling me anything I don’t already know, though I’d naively believed we’d have a few weeks at least, maybe even a month, before people caught on.
“You think it’s better to put ourselves on display? That won’t stop any talk. It’ll probably just make people talk more.”
“Yeah, but they’ll be talking about how they saw you at dinner or on a trail, not that they saw you heading into his building again . If this isn’t just sex, then get out there and show everyone it’s not what they think.”
Deep down, I know Blake is right, and since I already boasted to Carter that I wasn’t going to worry about what people say, I should back that up and venture out with him on my arm. But not worrying about the gossip and inviting into our lives by going out in public are two different things. Are we ready for that? Even if we are, is it the smart thing to do, considering the scrutiny he could face from his father ?
“You’re hesitating,” Blake interrupts my thoughts. “You think he’ll refuse?”
“Not like that.” I shake my head firmly. “It’s just that Carter’s taking risks, too. Our relationship or whatever it is probably won’t go over well with the people he answers to. The ones financing the resort. I don’t get the impression they’ll approve of employees interacting with the management.”
“All the more reason to show the town it’s not just sex. That way if management questions it, you have their support.”
I feel Blake watching me as I turn that over in my mind. There’s a certain amount of logic to showing the town this is more than two people hooking up, but it could also lead to questions I’m not sure either of us are prepared to answer. I mean, I don’t even know what to call us, so how can I explain it to others?
“You’re overthinking,” Blake interrupts my train of thought. “Grab a meal and drop by The Underground afterward for a drink. Easy.”
“What do we say when people ask what we’re doing?” I wring my hands together.
“You say you’re grabbing a meal and getting a drink,” he deadpans.
“Won’t people ask if we’re on a date? What do we tell them?”
“Probably, and yes. That’s the whole point of going out in public, right? To show people you’re together.”
“You know what I mean.” I smack his arm. “We haven’t labeled anything so what do we call each other?”
“Carter and Sloan. Or my date. Are we done with the ice? I can’t feel my ankle anymore.”
“Yeah, we’re done with the ice.” I start to undo the wrap securing the cool pack to his ankle. “I can’t wait for the day when you’re in my shoes. Starting a relationship in this town isn’t as easy as you make it out to be. ”
“That’s why I’m not in one,” he states wryly.
“The eternal bachelor, huh?” I give him a hand to help him rise off the chair.
“Not eternal. I’m just not going to put myself under the town microscope until I’m sure I’ve found the one .”
“How will you know who that is if you don’t date the person first?” I hand him his crutches.
“The way I understand it, the right person strikes you down like a bolt of lightning. When I feel that, I’ll know it’s the one.”
Once again, Blake’s offhand comments have me reeling. Struck by lightning . That’s the perfect way to describe what I feel around Carter. At first, it was just his looks—the man is legitimately beautiful—but the more he reveals about himself, the more enamored I am with who he is as a person.
He doesn’t wear it on his sleeve—hell, he seems to go out of his way to hide it—but there’s a giant heart inside Carter that drives everything he does, and I love that about him. Could that mean… It’s too soon for something like that, right? I don’t even have the guts to call him my boyfriend, much less the man I love. Yet, what I feel for him is more than lust. More than merely respect or affection.
I’ve known for a while now my feelings exceed those of desire or attraction, but I’ve been trying not to let them wander into love territory. Not when there are still so many unknowns about where this thing between us is going. Could I love Carter? Without question. Do I already? It’s best if I don't answer that. Not without knowing how he feels.
“Get out of your head, dude.” Blake waves a hand in front of my face. “You just got done telling me Carter’s taking a risk by dating you, which I’m guessing he wouldn’t do lightly if it could upset the people he answers to. So stop wondering what you mean to the man and just make it official already.”
“And if it’s too soon?”
“Wait any longer and the choice is going to be made for you, if it hasn’t been already. This town is too small for a secret that big.” He offers a reassuring smile to make the words sting less.
“You’re right,” I concede with a heavy sigh. “Time to go out in the open.”
***
“Hey,” Carter calls out as he enters the apartment.
“In here,” I answer from my spot on the couch.
At his urging, I scaled back my shifts at Murphy’s so we could spend some evenings together, but before he gets home, I usually have a few hours to kill. Sometimes I cook, which is still a work in progress, so mostly I read. I feel a little guilty doing nothing while Carter’s still at the office, but I’ve been working back-to-back shifts for nearly a year, so it’s nice to reclaim a little quiet time for myself.
“What are you reading that has you so deep in thought?” He sits next to me and tips my chin up for a quick kiss.
“Why do you think I’m deep in thought?”
He runs the tip of his finger between my eyebrows. “You’ve got a crease right here that you only get when you’re overthinking.”
“I’m not over -thinking.” I rub circles into my forehead as if it will make the line go away. “I’m just thinking.”
“What’s the difference?” The corner of his lip pulls upward like he’s fighting a smile .
Closing the book, I force myself to meet his gaze. “I know what I want. I don’t know how you’ll feel about it, though.”
“Sounds serious.” Carter’s fingers toy with the hair at the nape of my neck.
“Maybe a little.” I bite my lip and stare into his whiskey brown eyes, which soften with concern as he waits for me to speak. “I don’t want to keep this a secret anymore.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? That’s it? No objections?” I feel my jaw drop despite the fact this is exactly what I wanted.
“Nope.” He flashes a sexy grin, pulling me to him for another kiss. Before he can make contact, I put my hand on his chest and push him back.
“What about your dad? The board? Don’t we need some kind of plan?”
“The fact that you’re asking makes me think you want me to talk you out of it.” His gaze morphs from heated to wary.
“No, of course not,” I protest. Taking his hand in mine I do my best to elaborate. “It’s just that I’ve been through all the pros and cons, and I think there will actually be less speculation about what I’m doing with you if people know we’re together. Can you say the same about your dad, or the board?”
“Does it matter? You don’t want to keep this a secret.” He strokes his thumb over the back of my hand.
“I don’t, but I will if it puts you in jeopardy.” Just because I’ve come to terms with the stigma I might suffer by what I’m doing with Carter doesn’t mean he’s ready to risk his career. Even if I might mean something to him .
“I know you would.” This time I don’t fight him when he pulls me in for a tender kiss, which sends my heart into overdrive. But my giddiness is cut short when I hear his heavy sigh.
“Truthfully, I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to make my dad happy.” Carter’s distant expression hints at the stress that prompted Janice to bring me in to help. “He’s indulging this endeavor because it’s my dream, but his dream is to have me work for him. If I do anything to screw it up, like mixing my personal life with business, there’s a chance he pulls the plug. I think I can head that off by giving him a viable plan to make the resort profitable, but as far as our relationship goes, the longer we keep this a secret the worse it will look when it comes out. From a professional perspective, it makes sense not to hide anymore.”
Carter’s logic is sound—it’s the same conclusion I came to for my own reasons—though part of me had been hoping it would be emotion, not logic, that led him to agree with me.
Willing my voice to stay level, I say, “So we’re on the same page?”
“Why do I get the impression that’s not what you want to hear?” He strokes my cheek, ignoring the question.
“Of course that’s what I want to hear. It’s the smart thing to do.” I stare at my lap to keep him from seeing the disappointment I’m sure is all over my face.
“Fuck smart.” His hand slides to my chin, tipping it up so I’m forced to meet his eyes.
“What?” I gasp.
“Sloan, I agree getting rid of the secrets is smart career wise, but saving our asses is not my primary motivation.”
“It’s not?” I blink in rapid succession, too stunned to form any words. I don’t know how Carter knew I needed to hear that, but his words resonate deep in my chest, making me think it’s not too soon to think about the ‘L’ word.
“Hell, no. The fact that coming clean works in our favor is just a bonus. The real reason I want to do it is because you deserve better than to be kept in hiding. We both do. Keeping this a secret worked when I wasn’t sure where it would go. Where I wanted it to go. Now I am.”
“Where’s that?”
“All the way.” The heated gaze that accompanies those words sends my heart racing once again.
“We’ve already gone all the way.” I’m baiting him, but I need him to say what I think he means.
“We have,” he agrees, tugging me forward so I have to straddle his lap. “Physically.”
“Did you have something else in mind?”
He sets his hands on my hips, fingers roaming over the tops of my thighs. “Well for starters, I’ve never had a boyfriend before, and I think I’d like to try that.”
“Boyfriend, huh?” I trap my lip with my teeth, so I don’t smile like a loon.
“And even though you stay here most nights you don’t actually live here, and I’d like to try that, too.” His fingers drift toward the inside of my legs.
“Give up my fancy employee housing? Why on Earth would I do that?” I run my hands over his chest, unable to stop myself from touching him.
“So I can fall asleep and wake up next to the man I’m in love with. Are we on the same page now?” His eyes lock onto mine.
My hands freeze in place, his steady heartbeat under my palm the only sound in the room. “What?” I whisper .
“You heard me. I love you, Sloan. I’m in, all the way.” I expect him to smirk or wink, something to bring us back to the playful tone he had seconds ago, because there’s no way I heard him right. His whiskey brown gaze doesn’t waver.
When I baited him a minute ago, I was fishing for him to call me his boyfriend. In no way did I expect him to take it to this level. Not yet. I hoped he would one day, though I figured that day was well in the future.
“You’re awfully quiet.” Carter takes his hands off my thighs and cups my face. “Does that scare you?”
My head barely moves between his palms as I shake it side to side. “It surprises me.”
“Why would that surprise you?” His thumb caresses my cheekbone.
“I guess I didn’t expect you to feel the same way I do so soon.”
“So soon?” That thumb brushes over my lower lip. “I’ve been breaking every rule with you since day one.”
“Are you saying you’ve loved me this whole time?” My breath catches in my throat, the implications of that too overwhelming to process.
“I’m saying there could never be any other outcome. The moment you walked into my office I was yours.”
My heart is still a puddle inside my chest when he takes me to our bedroom and claims me.