Chapter Nineteen #3
“Oh my god!” Her free hand flew to her mouth. “You been raising them by yourself all this time?”
“Yea.” Logic took the blunt from her.
“Oh my god, Logic! That is so sad.”
“Sad enough for you to be my girlfriend?” He grinned at her.
“Can you stop flirting?” Tyler popped him on the forearm. “That’s so wrong.”
“It is, but I did what I had to do. Them my babies, and if I had to walk across fire to make sure they didn’t touch the flame, then that’s what it is. Shit ain’t always been perfect, but we do what we gotta do…you feel me?” Logic glanced at her as they pulled up at a light.
“I feel you.” Tyler nodded. “When is the last time yall saw her?” she asked, still full of questions.
“She started coming around a few months ago. She at the crib spending time with them now.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Not gone lie.” Logic filled his lungs with smoke, held it for a few seconds, and then released it.
“I feel some kind of way, but I try to keep that shit to myself because I don’t want the troops thinking they have to feel the same way.
If they want to have a relationship with their mother, then that’s cool. I’m just not fucking with her.”
“Do they wanna have a relationship with her?
“Sage does, but the twins don’t fuck around. She missed some major milestones in their life, and no matter how hard she tries, she’ll never get those moments back. I had to walk them through their first periods, take them to get fitted for their first bras while trying to keep a neutral face.”
“Little Ms. Thrash Mouth didn’t help with that?”
“Nah.” Logic chuckled at the nickname she gave Scottie.
“She was cool at one point, but she started moving funny, and I don’t fault her.
I never expected her to put her life on hold because I had to, but I don’t like that fake shit.
She was doing celebrities’ hair at the time and that shit went to her head. ”
“Want me to beat her up?” Tyler arched her eyebrow. “I have some pent up anger and I’d give her ass a quick one-two for playing in your face.”
“Nah. I don’t want you out here fighting.”
“Oh, you a good one.” Tyler shook her head. “I would have tried to fight her and yo mama.”
“Yo wild ass always trying to put your hands on somebody.” Logic coughed.
“It gets my point across.” She shrugged.
“What about you?” He handed her the blunt.
“What about me?”
“Your parents, are you cool with them? I know you said you were visiting your mom the other day. Where she at? Locked up for beating somebody up?” he joked. “Is that where you get that violent shit from?”
“My mom is in a nursing home.”
“She cool?”
“She’s alive,” Tyler answered the loaded question, taking a puff and handing him back the blunt.
“Is that a good thing or bad thing?” Logic asked, picking up on her tone.
“Depends on the day,” she replied evenly.
“We don’t have to get into all this if it’s going to make you sad.”
“It’s fine,” Tyler sighed, cutting him off. “My father’s wife hit my mom in the head with a hammer when I was ten. She survived, but she isn’t the same. She doesn’t know that I’m her daughter, her favorite show is Gracie’s Corner, and she loves chicken nuggets.”
“Ah shit.” Logic reached over and grabbed her hand, pulling it into his lap as he drove.
“So, to answer your question, sometimes I’m thrilled that I can still see her, spend time with her, and on good days, she lets me hug her.
On the flip side, I miss her. I miss talking to her without pretending she’s not my mother.
I miss singing while we cook, and our random trips to the store to buy a bunch of junk food.
I miss her picking me up from school early because she’s bored.
” Tyler smiled. “We used to drive around Gosse Pointe and pick out houses because my daddy swore he was going to move us out of the projects. I think I miss feeling safe most of all. No matter what she did or how much she drank, my mama made sure I was well taken care of. Now all she does is sit in a wheelchair, wait for a nurse to change her diaper, and watch cartoons. I’m probably about to sound like a bitch, but sometimes I think she’d be better off dead. ”
Silence
Logic sat back and digested her confession.
Mourning a living, breathing person was in a whole different ballpark.
The grief was heavier, and you're always filled with a small amount of hope that things could get better, but they never do, and that’s harder to accept than a dead person never coming back.
With death, you knew it was final, but the type of pain Tyler was experiencing would live on as long as her mother was breathing, and Logic understood that 100%.
“I’m sorry to hear that, baby girl.” He brought her hand to his lips.
“It’s cool. I’m over it.” Tyler gave him a small smile.
“Are you though?” Logic cocked his head to the side.
“Yea, why you say it like that?”
“Because I’m sure witnessing that shit came with a shitload of mental issues. That’s not something you move on from. You learn how to live with it, find a few ways to cope with it, but it never leaves you.”
“I deal with it just fine.” Tyler shrugged.
They shared a brief look before Logic focused on the road. He wouldn’t press the issue, but he was starting to see her a little more clearly. She wasn’t just some out-of-control singer with a nasty drug habit. Tyler’s problems were rooted.
“Where your pops at?” Logic quizzed.
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since I was eleven. He came to visit me once, and he sent money to my aunt for a while, but that was it. No calls, visits, none of that shit, so he’s dead to me.”
“Damn.” Logic gripped the steering wheel. “That’s some bitch nigga shit.”
“Yep.”
“So if that nigga left, who took you in?”
“My aunt.”
“The mint can hoe?” His eyes doubled in size.
“Yep.” Tyler chuckled at his reaction. “I moved into her basement and Lord, that shit a story all by itself.”
“Wait.” Logic paused to gather his thoughts. “She’s your mom's sister?”
“Yea, but they were distant. Before she took me in, I only saw her like once and I was young as hell. She was supposed to take care of me, but she’s so fucking vindictive and didn’t care what I did as long as she was getting paid.
I was fourteen and her hoe ass daughter was getting me drunk off my ass while her boyfriends watched me dance. ”
“Them niggas ever-
“No,” Tyler quickly answered. “It never got that far until she introduced me to Dex. He was twenty-two and I was sixteen. By the time we started messing around, I was seventeen and signed to Oakwood. As long as my aunt was cashing the checks, she didn’t care about me laying up with a man six years my senior. ”
“Mannnnn,” Logic stressed. “You got me about to pull up on all these muthafuckas.” He couldn’t imagine his sisters going through some shit like that. Everyone in Tyler’s life had failed her, including her mother.
“Logic.” Tyler turned to him. “I know you probably feel like you need to save me, but you don’t.
I’m good.” She touched his hand. “Shit a little rocky right now, but I'll bounce back. You need to focus on you and your career. You’re just getting started and making your way through the industry is going to be a battle all by itself. I don’t need you fighting mine too. ”
“I hear you,” Logic lied. “We’re at our first stop.”
Looking out the window, Tyler frowned at the two big machine guns on the front of the building.
“A gun range?” she skeptically questioned.
“They have a shooting range, but I booked something a little different for us.”
“Oh god.” Tyler side-eyed him as he cut the truck off.
Like always, Tyler flipped down the mirror, checked her makeup, and reapplied her lip gloss. By the time she was done with her second coat, Logic was pulling her door open with a big bag in his hand.
“You ready?”
“Yes.” Tyler held her hand out and allowed him to help her out of the truck. “So what are we about to do?”
“Well, shit been kinda hectic for me as of late and I needed to blow off some steam. This is a rage room.”
“A what?”
“A room where we can break some shit. Smash some TVs, throw shit against the wall, use a hammer and fuck up some lamps, coffee tables, and whatever else that’s breakable in that bitch.”
“Ummm, this is a lil different.”
“Different is good.” Logic grabbed her hand, leading her into the building.
“Welcome to Smash, how can I help you?” the clerk asked.
“What up doe,” Logic greeted. “I booked a rage room under Lo.”
“Okkkkk,” the clerk hummed, typing on the computer. “It looks like you booked the Platinum package-
“Platinum package?” Tyler interrupted. “Oh, you got moneeey,” she teased, tapping her index finger and thumb. “Let me find out.”
“Chill.” Logic chuckled at her theatrical antics.
“Your package comes with full gear, bats, sledgehammers, and a couple of axes. Did you bring steel-toe shoes?”
“Yea.” Logic held up the bag.
“Great. There’s a shared locker room through the double doors. After you sign these waivers, you are free to go.”
“Waiver?” Tyler twisted her lips. “So that means if I cut off my toe I can’t sue yall?”
“That’s exactly what that means.” The clerk chuckled lightly.
“It’s ok, I’ll sue big baller over here since he wanna be destructive.”
“Girl, bring yo ass on.” Logic popped her on the butt with the clipboard.
Stepping to the side, Tyler filled out her form with a fake name and handed it back to the clerk. Peeking over Logic’s shoulder, she zoomed in on his government name and burst out laughing.
“Lionel?” she screeched. “Your real name is Lionel.” She reached for the clipboard.
“Aye, move.” He held his arm over her head.
“You’re too fine to be a Lionel. Oh my god, how do you even moan that?” Tyler laughed. “Ummm, right there, Lionellllll?” she cooed before laughing again.
“How much you wanna bet I can make you scream that shit and love it?” Logic licked his lips, bringing her laughter to a halt.
“Baby girl, when your legs are behind your ears and I’m deep in that pussy, my name could be Bartholomew and you’re still gonna sing that shit at the top of your lungs.
” He handed the clipboard back to the clerk, who kept staring at Tyler like she knew her from somewhere but couldn’t put her finger on it.
Following the signs to the locker room, Logic stepped inside, and Tyler followed.
“Oh my god,” she giggled, obliviously buzzed. “We gotta wear this?” She pointed at the big white suit.
“Them shits are ugly ass fuck,” Logic chuckled. “But if you not trying to lose a limb, then yea. Put it on.”
“Can you help me?” Tyler pouted, sticking her lip out.
“Yea, sit down.” Logic pointed to the bench.
Doing as she was told, Tyler sat on the bench and watched him grab the suit. Placing it next to her, Logic kneeled and lifted her feet, placing them in his lap to remove her shoes.
“You better be happy yo feet don’t stank,” he teased, placing her shoe to his nose.
“You are gross,” Tyler laughed. “Why would you smell my shoe?”
“Just making sure.”
“I bet you were one of them kids who smelled people's seats when they stood up.”
“Don’t play with me.” Logic pulled her big toe.
“Ok, ok,” she giggled.
Dropping her feet, he grabbed the thick overalls and slipped them over her ankles.
“Stand up.”
Holding onto his shoulders, Tyler stood up and held her breath as he rolled the overalls up her legs and over her hips. The gesture shouldn’t have been sexual, but it was. His hands on her body was very sexual.
“Why you looking at me like that?” Logic asked, slipping the straps on her shoulders.
“Like what?”
“Like you like me,” he answered with a big grin.
“You alright.” Tyler rolled her eyes as he tightened the straps.
“I know I am.” Logic stole a kiss before he put the vest over her head. “Sit down.”
Retaking her seat, Tyler sat on the bench and stared at Logic as he removed a box of Timberland boots from the bag he brought. Loosening the laces, he slipped one on her foot, tightened it up, and then did the other.
“You are very nurturing. I can see why the piranhas cling to you,” Tyler observed as he made sure her ankles were secure.
“Just trying to make sure you straight.” He winked. “Can you put on your helmet and goggles, or you need me to do that too?”
“I guess I can manage,” Tyler teased, standing to her feet.
As silly as she looked, Tyler still glossed her lips and snapped a couple of pictures of herself in the full-length mirror that clung to the back of the door. Picking up the sledgehammer, she placed it over her shoulder and took a couple more pictures.
“Get me,” Logic called out.
He was standing on the other side of her with his foot on the bench and a hammer in both hands.
“Oh my god, we look crazy,” Tyler laughed loudly. “Come here,” she beckoned.
“Whaaat you wanna take a picture with me?” Logic taunted.
“Hush. Bend down and hug my leg.”
Doing as he was told, Logic kneeled down and slipped one of his arms between her legs, palming her ass while resting his head against her leg.
The butterflies in her stomach started going wild, but she ignored them as she snapped a couple of pictures.
For the last picture, Logic stood behind Tyler, tossing his arms over her shoulders.
With a big smile on her face, Tyler snapped a couple of pictures and nearly moaned when he pressed his lips to her forehead.
“You ready?” he asked, staring at her through the mirror.
“Yep, let’s go fuck up some shit.” She dropped her phone on the bench. “I wanna start with this.” Tyler picked up the sledgehammer.
“Do your thing, Harley Quinn.”