Chapter 8 The Apartment Visit
After that day, I hardly ran into Xu Jiaqing around school anymore.
Before, I’d see him in the library almost every time I went.
He must have arranged those “chance” meetings on purpose.
In the afternoon at the coffee shop, Xu Yan was focused on his laptop.
I propped my chin on my hand, staring at the sparrows outside the window, bored enough to doze off.
Right then, my long-silent best friend Lin Ya sent me a message.
Wanwan, gossip alert! I heard your crush Xu Jiaqing is sick—really sick, like dying. Here’s his apartment address. Go check on him?
I replied without expression: Lin Ya, I already know. Can you stop playing these games? It’s not funny.
Caught, Lin Ya sent a voice message, sobbing. “I’m sorry, Tian Wan. I don’t want to pass messages for that yellow-haired idiot anymore. But my boyfriend—the glasses guy—he’s gone missing. Please, for the sake of all our years of friendship, just go see Xu Jiaqing one more time?”
I glanced at Xu Yan across the table. He closed his laptop. “The cleaning lady at his place just messaged me too. He really has been sick for days.”
Early spring still carried a chill.
The late cold snap made it easy to catch illness.
On the way to Xu Jiaqing’s apartment, Xu Yan told me some things about their childhood.
He said Xu Jiaqing’s personality was twisted and contradictory—shaped by the original family trauma.
After their parents divorced, Xu Yan was taken in by their grandparents and raised with care.
Xu Jiaqing was kept by their mother and became her tool to extort living expenses from their father.
Their father did nothing, but Xu Yan lived a relatively happy life under their grandparents’ protection.
Xu Jiaqing wasn’t so fortunate.
Their mother went through several boyfriends, none of whom treated him well.
He and his mother squeezed into a rented room filled with smoke and chaos.
Even so, Xu Jiaqing worked hard and kept excellent grades.
His personality, though, never matched the report card.
With no father to protect him in a single-parent home, he learned to protect himself with his fists.
From elementary to high school, almost everyone around knew his name.
At that point, Xu Yan’s grip tightened on the steering wheel.
His gaze softened, faintly glistening.
I could tell he felt very deeply for his younger brother.
“Tian Wan, Xu Jiaqing’s feelings toward me are complicated.”
“…”
I was drinking water and nearly choked at his sudden words. “I—I know.”
Xu Yan glanced at my face and smiled. “Your expression says you misunderstood. I don’t mean that kind of complicated. After our father remarried and had another child, and our mother drank herself to death, I became his only family.”
I listened seriously until the car stopped outside the apartment building.
Xu Jiaqing’s current place was rented by Xu Yan for him.
A duplex bachelor apartment with daily cleaning service—clean and comfortable.
But far too empty.
When I pushed the door open, joy flashed across Xu Jiaqing’s face for a split second.
The moment he saw Xu Yan behind me, it turned to disappointment.
He wore black loungewear, an ice patch stuck to his forehead.
The room smelled sharply of bitter medicine.
“You had to bring him along to see me?” Xu Jiaqing’s voice was hoarse. He really was sick.
I silently put on a mask and handed one to Xu Yan. “I told you to come alone. Your brother doesn’t welcome me.”
Xu Jiaqing pursed his lips. “Tian Wan, you pig…”
I glared back. “What? Calling me pig-brain again? Is that the only insult you know?”
“Go lie down on the bed.” Xu Yan walked over and forcibly dragged Xu Jiaqing into the bedroom.
The moment the bedroom door closed, I rushed over and pressed my ear against it.
I couldn’t hear much—just some muffled voices and then Xu Jiaqing’s laugh breaking into something choked.
After more arguing, Xu Jiaqing suddenly threw something and shouted, “Fine, I admit it—I’m jealous of you two, okay? You and Dad are all paired up, and I’m always the one left behind…”
“That won’t happen. I’m your brother. I promised I’d take care of you.”
“Then you should…”
“Impossible. You need to calm down alone right now.”
The door flew open. I stood frozen in place.
Xu Jiaqing sat on the bed, eyes red, breathing hard.
In the end, I still said something comforting. “Everyone is born alone, but no one stays alone forever. Xu Jiaqing, you’ll find your own place someday.”
“…”
Xu Jiaqing’s eyes reddened even more after he heard me. “Heh, gave up on cheesy love lines and switched to soul-soothing chicken soup?”
He grabbed a pillow and threw it at my feet.
A stack of letters hidden under the pillow scattered across the floor.
Xu Jiaqing panicked. He scrambled off the bed to pick them up.
But there were too many sheets, each one covered in crossed-out lines and rewritten sentences…
I picked up one at random.
It read: 【First apology letter of my life, to Tian Wan. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have posted your photo with your best friend on the confession wall. I beg you to forgive me…】
Before I could finish, Xu Yan took the paper away.
He spoke gently to me. “Wanwan, can you go wash some fruit in the kitchen?”
I forced myself to stay calm and turned toward the kitchen.
Watching the water pour from the faucet, I zoned out.
Even though Xu Yan took the letter halfway, I still saw the last line in the bottom right corner.
【I suddenly realized something. It’s not that I’m jealous of you. I’m jealous of my brother.】