Chapter 17 #2
“No. It’s not that. I just . . .” She really didn’t want to have this conversation, but she knew it was one they needed to have.
“I’m just a little nervous. The thing is .
. . umm . . . this is my first time doing this.
” When he stared at her with confusion, she rushed on.
“Not the first time I’ve been with a guy.
I’ve had boyfriends. We just never went this far.
” She hesitated. “I never let things go this far. I guess it’s the entire rule following thing.
My pastor stressed keeping your virginity until you were married and I took it to heart.
But I no longer want to be that rule follower.
” She paused, struggling to find the right words.
She chose the ones he’d given her. “I want to be who I am and do what I want. And I want you, Jaxon.”
He stood there looking at her for a long moment and she figured he was about to run for the hills.
Instead, he pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.
“I want you too, Tully. And I’m proud of you for going after what you want, but this is a big decision.
Are you sure you want your first time to be with me? ”
She drew back and cradled his face in her hands. “I wouldn’t want it to be with anyone else.”
She wondered if he was going to turn and walk out the door.
Instead, a possessive look entered his eyes.
“Call me a selfish bastard, but I don’t want anyone being your first but me.
” He gave her an aching sweet kiss, before he pulled back and slid a thumb along her bottom lip.
“There’s no need to be nervous. We’re only going to do what you’re comfortable doing.
Just being here with you is enough for me. ”
Talk about the perfect words.
All her nerves completely evaporated and she kissed him.
This time, there was nothing sweet about it.
She kissed him like she’d been wanting to kiss him since he stepped out the back door of Honky Tonk Heaven looking like every good girl’s bad boy dream.
While she was hungrily enjoying his lips, her hand wandered down his ripped stomach to capture his hard length.
It was velvety soft and at the same time pure steel.
She closed her fingers around it and tested that steeliness with a tight squeeze.
His head dropped back as a sexy moan released from his throat.
His reaction gave her enough courage to slide her hand to the domed tip.
It was wet. She captured the moisture and used it as lubricant for her next strokes.
She knew her technique was clumsy, but it didn’t seem to matter. Jaxon looked like he was enjoying her awkward play. His eyes slammed shut as he moaned again. His abdominal muscles twitched as he came up on his toes, pressing more fully in her hand.
“Damn, Tully,” he gritted out between his teeth.
Wanting more than anything to give him an orgasm like he’d given her, she lowered to her knees. But before she could take him into her mouth, he lifted her back to her feet.
“Sorry, baby, but if you touch me with that sweet mouth of yours, I’m not going to last two seconds.” He kissed her and whispered against her lips. “I want to take things slower.”
Once they were in bed, he did take things slower, kissing her languidly as his hands ran over her body as if he wanted to learn every square inch of her.
When he’d turned her into a trembling puddle of need, his hand slipped between her legs and his thumb settled on her clit while a finger slid inside her wet heat.
The combination had her hips coming off the mattress and a desperate-sounding groan coming from her lips.
“You like that, baby?” He whispered against her lips as he brushed his thumb in back and forth. “You want more?” Before she finished nodding, he had another finger inside her.
“Jax . . . please.”
“Oh, I’m going to please you, Tully. I’m going to please the hell out of you.” He crooked his fingers and brushed faster with his thumb and she saw stars as another orgasm crashed over her.
He drew his fingers out and sat up on the edge of the bed. She started to complain, but then stopped when he slid over her and she got to feel every hard inch of him.
With one tatted forearm braced beside her head, he used his other hand to guide himself in. He took his time, teasing her with the head of his erection before nudging in by slow degrees. The entire time, his whiskey-colored eyes gauged her reaction.
It wasn’t painful. Just uncomfortable.
Once he was fully seated, he kissed her, or more like made love to her mouth with deep pulls and sensuous brushes of his tongue. By the time the kiss was over, she realized the discomfort had faded. All that remained was a deep stretching feeling—a fullness.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yes. Are you?”
He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. “More than okay.”
He started to move then, slow pullouts and even slower push ins. She didn’t know if it was the sudden friction or the care in which he was handling her that made desire well once more. On his next slow thrust, her hips lifted to meet him.
That seemed to break his control.
His tempo picked up and his thrusts became faster. Deeper. Harder.
“I don’t think I can—” He moaned deep in his throat as he found release. She enjoyed watching ecstasy play over his beautiful features. When he relaxed against her, she wrapped her legs and arms around him, holding him close.
“Thank you, Jax. That was amazing.”
“I wish I had made it better for you.”
“You’re right. Only two mind-blowing orgasms? What a disappointment, Jaxon Hennessy?”
He growled and nipped her on the neck. “Smartass.”
She giggled, but sobered quickly. “Seriously, I think I’ve always wanted you to be my first.”
He pushed up to his forearms, his handsome features confused. “The town bad boy?”
She brushed back the strands of hair that had come out of his ponytail.
“You aren’t a bad boy. You’ve never been a bad boy.
You’re a caring brother who watches out for his siblings.
A loyal son who worked his butt off for his mama’s beloved dancehall.
” She caressed his bottom lip with her thumb.
“A gentle lover who made sure I was satisfied twice before he took his own pleasure.”
A look entered his eyes, but before she could read it, he got up and headed to the bathroom. When he returned, he had a warm washcloth that he used to gently clean her. On his way back from putting the washcloth in the bathroom, he opened the door to let Dumplin’ in.
Which made her heart swell even more.
The cat joined them on the bed, eyeing Jaxon with a skeptical look before stepping over Tully and plopping down on his stomach.
Tully laughed. “I hope you’re not allergic to cats.”
“Nope.” He reached out and pulled Tully closer, then proceeded to caress both of them with his hypnotic hands. Dumplin’ got backstrokes while Tully got light little circles drawn on her upper arm. “Don’t you remember our old cat, Scratch?”
“Oh my gosh. I forgot all about Scratch.” She paused. “Did y’all really tie a firecracker to his tail and blow half of it off?”
She felt his muscles tense beneath her. “Is that what people thought?”
“That was the rumor going around town. And I know for a fact Huck tied a tin can to your dog’s tail, making the poor thing ran in circles until my daddy caught him and cut it off.”
“Huck didn’t tie the can on Tom Sawyer. Huck dropped the tin can telephone he was trying to rig up in the treeboat and Tom got tangled in the string and raced into town like the hounds of hell were after him before Huck could catch him.
As for Scratch, I’m not sure what happened to his tail.
When Dawson found him on the bank of the river as a kitten, he was tailless. ”
She snuggled closer to his chest. “I guess that’s the reason you should never believe rumors. I bet y’all didn’t do half the things the townsfolk thought you did.”
“I wouldn’t say that. We were pretty ornery kids.
But we never mistreated animals . . . well, except for the goldfish Poppy won at the county fair when she was four.
She thought Goldie would love to join her in the bathtub.
I don’t know if it was the bubble bath that killed her or the thorough soap-scrubbing Poppy gave her. ”
Tully giggled. “I just overfed mine and Mama flushed them.”
“How is your mama?” He paused. “I was surprised when I heard your parents are separated. They seemed like the perfect couple . . . perfect parents.”
This was a topic she hadn’t talked about with anyone. But somehow, she knew she could talk about it with Jaxon.
“They were perfect parents. I guess that’s why I was completely blindsided when Mama told me she was leaving Daddy.
I totally blamed her . . . but after what he did after the gas station robbery and how he’s acting now, I guess my daddy isn’t the perfect person I thought he was.
” She lifted her head and looked at him.
“I’m so sorry for what he did to you, Jax. ”
He caressed her arm in a soothing back and forth motion that almost made her purr as loudly as Dumplin’. “Hey, you’re not responsible for what your daddy does and it’s not like he didn’t have just cause to believe it was me.”
Her brow knitted. “Just cause? Just because you were a little bit of a troublemaker as a kid?”
Jaxon stared back at her for a long moment before he returned his attention to Dumplin’, scratching the cat’s ears and making her close her eyes and push more firmly against his hand. “Just make sure you have all the evidence before you arrest someone.”
She didn’t know if it was the after effects of her orgasms or Jaxon’s soothing caresses that brought the epiphany on. Or maybe it wasn’t an epiphany. Maybe she’d known it all along and just now felt safe enough to tell the truth.
“I don’t want to be a deputy.”
Jaxon looked back at her. “Tully, if this has something to do with you being mad at your daddy for arresting me, you need to rethink that. Yeah, he made a wrong assumption and should have never arrested me with so little evidence, but everyone makes mistakes. You shouldn’t let what happened years ago affect your future. ”
She sat up and shook her head. “My decision has nothing to do with my daddy wronging you. It has to do with me finally accepting the fact that I’m a horrible deputy.
Probably because I hate it. I hate the regiment of waking up every morning at the same time and making sure my uniform is spotless and my hair is tidy.
I hate doing the same patrols day and night.
I hate filling out reports. But mostly I hate getting after people for breaking the rules.
I no longer want to be Tully the Tattler.
I’ve done that all my life because I thought it would make my daddy happy.
But I’m tired of making my daddy happy.” She thumped her chest. “I want to make me happy.”
Jaxon placed Dumplin’ on the floor before he turned to Tully and took her hands in his. “And what is it that will make you happy, Tallulah Gentry?”
One word popped into her head.
You.
But she knew she couldn’t say it. Knew it was just a pipe dream when Jaxon was leaving. So she said the next best thing.
“I want to buy Honky Tonk Heaven.”
He studied her. “Not as a secret partner?”
She took a deep breath. “No.”
“Your daddy isn’t going to like it. Just like he’s not going to like you . . . hanging out with the Hennessys.”
She knew he meant hanging out with him. “He’ll have to get over me owning a bar . . . and as for us hanging out together. I don’t think he needs to know the details. Especially when you plan on leaving.”
Something entered his eyes. Something that looked a lot like hurt. But as quickly as it came, it was gone and he nodded.
“Yeah, when I’m leaving.”