Chapter 21
Kia
I’m still kneeling over the toilet, trying to breathe through the last tremor of nausea, when Laiken shifts behind me. He hasn’t moved since the vomiting started. He stayed, rubbing gentle circles on my back.
The steady rhythm of his hand is the only thing anchoring me to the present.
If he’d stopped or pulled away, I’m not sure I’d have been able to hold myself together.
Once my stomach settles, I rinse out my mouth and wipe my face with trembling hands.
My attention flits around the small room, reluctant to settle on him.
“Hey,” he murmurs.
I force myself to meet his gaze, and find concern etched across his expression. His hand lifts, carefully wiping the tears from my cheeks. The gentleness of his touch only makes the emotion in my throat swell even more.
“You’re sure it’s not a bug you caught?” he asks again, quieter this time. “Maybe food poisoning?”
“No, it’s not.”
The secret I’ve been carrying sits perched on the tip of my tongue, begging to be set free. One word and everything would change.
Another tear slips free despite my best efforts to keep it contained. Laiken catches it with his thumb. He hesitates for a second, maybe two, as if giving me space to pull away. When I don’t, he draws me against the solid strength of his chest.
His arms slip around me, holding me like I’m something fragile he’s afraid to break but just as scared to let go of. His warm breath ghosts across the top of my head. The solid weight of him wraps around me, and it takes everything I have not to sink deeper into the comfort he’s offering.
I didn’t realize how much I needed this.
Maybe I haven’t known this man for long, but for some reason, he makes me feel safe.
Safer than I’ve felt in months.
Maybe even years.
The realization is enough to give me pause.
In a way, it feels like he could shield me from Collin, the pregnancy, and the constant low-grade fear that vibrates beneath my skin, just by standing here with his arms around me. As if the world wouldn’t be able to touch me as long as I’m with him.
Even though Laiken doesn’t ask any more questions, I’m almost certain he’s figured out my secret. The silence between us isn’t confusion or denial.
It’s restraint.
And that terrifies me more than anything.
What happens next?
Will he tell my brother?
Or fire me?
And my biggest fear of all—will he still want me around his daughter?
The thought makes my stomach twist. Elody is his entire world. I’ve seen the way his expression softens when she bounces into a room. The idea that I could threaten or taint it makes me want to vomit all over again.
Maybe he’ll think I’m a bad influence. I can’t deny that I’ve made a mess out of my life.
Who’d want that around their daughter?
Who’d trust someone like me with something so precious?
More than that, I don’t want him to look at me any differently.
I don’t think I could handle that.
All this circles through my head as I take a step back and slip free of his arms. My body resists the distance even as my mind insists on it. “I… I need to brush my teeth.”
The words feel feeble. Like they’re nothing more than an excuse to run away.
When his lips part, I wince, knowing he’s going to ask the one question I’ve been too scared to talk about.
For a second time, the truth presses against my tongue and I almost blurt it out.
But my nerve falters, and I rush out of the confining space, turning my face away so he won’t see the tears spilling down my cheeks.
Once in my bedroom, I lock myself in the bathroom.
Only then does it feel like I can finally breathe again.
I lean over the sink, gripping the edges until my knuckles blanch, before brushing my teeth on autopilot. Even though I try to steady the tremor in my hands, it doesn’t work. Tears drip onto the porcelain, and no matter how hard I blink, I can’t make them stop. I need to pull myself together.
It’s only when I lift my head that I catch my reflection in the mirror. I’m pale and my eyes are bloodshot. The woman staring back at me isn’t someone I recognize. Somewhere along the way, I became someone who runs and hides, who ducks and weaves, hoping the worst will pass her by.
That wasn’t always me.
I used to be a woman who held her head high. The one who faced adversity instead of flinching from it. I don’t know exactly when that changed, but standing here now, it’s impossible to ignore.
I draw in a shaky breath, wipe my face, and straighten my shoulders.
There’s no way to avoid this conversation.
Or the fallout.
And pretending there is will only make it worse.
After a short pep talk, I force myself to leave the safety of the bedroom.
It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
Once in the hall, I pause, listening for signs of life, but there are none.
Cartoons aren’t playing in the background, and Elody’s giggles aren’t echoing off the walls.
There’s no trace of Laiken’s calm, steady baritone carrying from the kitchen.
The penthouse is eerily silent. A cold knot of dread forms in my stomach as I move toward the kitchen.
“Laiken?” I call out before peering into the bright, sunlit space. My gaze drifts to the marble island, where a folded note sits in plain sight with my name scrawled across the front in his bold handwriting.
My heart skips a beat before slamming hard against my ribs as I reach for the paper, already bracing for what it might say. For the words I’ve been half-expecting since last night.
That hiring me was a mistake and I’m being fired. That I should pack my bags and be out before he returns with his daughter.
I swallow hard, unfolding the note and forcing myself to scan the words.
I’ll be home after I drop Elody off at school and then we’ll talk. – Laiken
My stomach bottoms out.
We’ll talk.
Not are you okay?
Not we’ll figure it out.
Just… we’ll talk.
Yup, this is it. He’s going to fire me. And then I’ll have to tell Oliver and the rest of my family. I can already imagine the look on my brother’s face along with the uncomfortable silence that follows when someone’s caught off guard and at a loss for words.
I force myself to the living room and sit, hands twisting in my lap. I’ve never been more terrified. Not even when I told Collin that I was pregnant. It’s tempting to save us both this awkward conversation and leave before he returns.
To run while I still can.
But I get the feeling that Laiken won’t allow me to disappear so easily. At the very least, I owe him an honest conversation. No matter how difficult that might be.
With no other recourse, I wait with my heart lodged in the middle of my throat as the silence stretches, thickening until it turns oppressive. And when the elevator finally dings twenty minutes later, there’s an excellent chance I might throw up again.