Chapter 28
Laiken
The barbell settles onto the rack with a heavy clang and the metal vibrates beneath my hands. I lie flat on the bench for a second longer than necessary, my chest heaving as sweat slicks my skin, before sitting up and grabbing my water bottle, draining half of it in one go.
The gym has always been a constant in my life. When I’m here, everything else fades—the noise, the pressure, the static in my head. My body takes over, muscle memory carrying me through reps and routines I’ve done a thousand times.
Today, however, none of it works.
The familiar rhythm does nothing to steady me. The burn in my muscles doesn’t quiet my thoughts. I push harder than necessary, adding more weight than I probably should, chasing the kind of exhaustion that usually clears my head.
No matter how many reps I grind out or how hard I drive myself, my mind continues to circle back to the same person.
Kia.
And the marriage I offered up as a solution to both our problems.
“Jesus,” Knox calls from across the room. “Are you trying to show us all up or what?”
“Hey, how about you do everyone a favor and mind your own workout,” I shoot back.
River snorts. “Yup. Definitely trying to lift through something going on in his head.”
Ignoring them, I roll my shoulders as Oliver steps into my line of sight and nods toward the rack. “You’re gonna snap that thing in half if you keep loading it like that.”
“Then they’ll finally replace it,” I mutter.
With a shake of his head, he sets up on the bench next to me.
The rest of the guys are scattered around the space.
Jax and Zane flex in front of the mirror, yapping about who’s made the most gains this season, while Knox argues with the strength coach.
River sings along to whatever’s blasting through the speakers as Steele makes the rounds, checking that everyone’s getting their reps in since that’s part of his job as the captain.
It’s all normal.
Too damn normal considering the hard left my life took this morning.
Oliver lies back and grips the bar. “Hey, Lennox. Spot me?”
I step in, hands hovering as he lowers the weight before pushing it back up with one smooth movement.
“So,” he says casually, like he’s asking about the weather. “How’s the arrangement working out with Kia?”
Well, hell.
I guess this is the opening I’ve been waiting for. It’s probably the best one I’m going to get. I glance around the gym, making sure no one’s paying attention to our conversation. The last thing I need is for the peanut gallery to chime in on something that’s none of their damn business.
And they will because they’re a bunch of nosy bastards.
“It’s going really well,” I say carefully. “Kia’s great with Elody. And El… she loves her.”
Oliver sits up, nodding thoughtfully before adding more weight. “Yeah?” He lies back again and presses the bar up. “That’s good. I’m glad to hear it.” He exhales. “Kia needs a place where she can clear her head and get her shit figured out.”
I continue spotting him as the bar rises and falls smoothly. “Yeah, about that—”
“Honestly, I’m glad this worked out the way it did. There aren’t many guys I’d trust with my sister.” With a grunt, he racks the bar and then sits up, glancing around once more before his gaze settles on mine again. “But I trust you, Lennox.”
Trust.
The word drops to the bottom of my gut like an anchor and stays there.
It’s so damn tempting to blurt out the truth. To explain and get ahead of the situation. But I won’t break Kia’s confidence in order to ease my own conscience. What she’s going through right now isn’t mine to share. Even with her brother.
I grab my water bottle. “I’m gonna cool down.”
Oliver nods, already distracted as Knox yells something from the other side of the gym about spotting being optional. I take the opportunity to escape into the hallway. The last thing I want to do is say something I can’t come back from.
The corridor is quieter. It’s just concrete and echoes, the distant thud of weights bleeding through the walls as I drag a hand down my face and release a gradual breath. No matter where I go or what I do, I can’t stop thinking about Kia.
I told her this could be a marriage on paper because I was desperate to secure her agreement. I needed to give her a way to say yes without feeling like she was stepping into a situation with too many expectations.
But that isn’t what I want.
Not even close.
And now I don’t know how to walk it back. How to take it from arrangement to something real without blowing everything apart before it even has a chance to get started.
My fingers drift to my left hand, rubbing my ring finger, as if there’s already a thick band there.
The motion is unconscious, almost reflexive.
I never expected to wear one again. Never thought I’d even consider it after one disastrous marriage taught me how much there is to lose when you put your faith in another person and build a life around them.
Only to realize they don’t want the same things you do.
And yet…
It’s alarming to realize how much I want it with Kia.
Not for optics, convenience, or as a way to win a custody fight. The thought of her being mine feels like something I didn’t know I’d been starving for.
The problem is, I have no idea what Kia wants. And that uncertainty sits heavy in my chest, making it difficult to breathe. I only know that suggesting it be a marriage on paper already feels like a mistake.
My head is such a mess, I barely register the corner until I turn it and nearly collide with Hugh.
“Sorry,” I mutter automatically, taking a step back.
He doesn’t seem to hear me as his gaze cuts past my shoulder, scanning the hallway behind me, as if searching for someone.
“You haven’t seen Evelyn, have you?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No. Sorry, I haven’t.”
With a frown, he mutters, “Pretty sure she’s avoiding me.”
His barely audible words hang in the air for a moment or two. Before I can respond, he gives me a clipped nod and then keeps moving. His phone is already in his hand, thumb flying across the screen.
Once he disappears down the hall, I turn back toward the locker room. There’s still so much that needs to be done.
Practice.
Meetings.
The usual grind.
It feels more like an inconvenience when all I can think about is getting home.
And seeing the woman I just proposed to.