14. Killian
Preparing this room was the best thing I could have done. I just had to call the Molina brothers and ask them for the necessary tools.
After all, they say it’s much easier to shake the enemy than to surprise those who know you, and Maricela thought she knew me.
Since returning, she thought she was keeping herself safe with her idleness and calm demeanor. The look on her face tells me she realizes her mistake. Good.
“What is that, Kil—” Game on.
She thought I hadn’t noticed how she refused to say my name or ignored my existence as much as possible. It ends today.
I asked Raven to take care of her clothing, fully expecting Maricela would refuse. You aren’t the only one who can play the game, Little Girl.
I study her shocked expression. “Enter. I won’t eat you.” Not yet.
“What is all this?” she asks, using her fiery hands when she speaks.
“My office. I hope you like the new décor. It took me a while to think about the coloring. It’s not my forte.”
“I won’t fall for your games.”
I sigh. “Maricela, my little ghostly girl. My internally na?ve little girl. I think you forget who I am. The niceties are over. You had your reprieve. Now you need to pay.”
“To pay?”
Get angry, I silently encourage her. Show me your rage. Blame me, hit me. Come fucking on.
“As far as I recall, you’re not one of those who like to stay indebted to anyone.” Stop standing there like a plant. Come at me. Yell. Cry. Fucking break.
“I don’t.”
Her voice is not as steady as she wants it to be.
“So, you’ve been living in my penthouse for weeks without working. Without helping with anything.”
Tell me I’m lying, that you clean up and care for everyone. Even me. Tell me that you need time to heal. Hit me. Sob. Come on. Fucking do something.
“You’re right. I have money. I’ll pay you.” The desire to shake her is palpable.
“I don’t need money.”
“So, what can I give you?” The truth. The cause of your pain.
“You’ll do everything I say from now on.”
“Okay. Fine.”
She takes another step, looking at all I prepared for her. I ensured the room seemed as menacing as possible while keeping it as much like an office so I could work.
My desk is full of floggers I’ve never used on her or anyone. The Saint Andre cross is standing proudly facing the floor-to-ceiling window, ready for her.
“Okay?”
“Yes. You’re right. I need to pay you for all you did for Serena and all you’re doing for the kids and me.”
“Kneel.”
She does, as elegantly as I remember. Oh, the games we play, the games we always played. Maricela’s body was and always will be a work of art. Her limbs move most seductively without her even trying to do so. It’s as if she needs it as much as I do. Maybe she does.
Her body relaxes, letting all the horrors she suffered out of the window. If she would only tell me. I would do anything to ruin her demons. Literally.
“I sent Raven to give you clothes. Where are they?”
I get up from my place behind the desk, giving Maricela a clear head-to-toe examination, scanning each millimeter of her body.
She’s thinner, bordering on resembling a heroin chick. It’s like she refuses to eat all the things she loves as if refusing all the joy in her life. I’ll have to take care of that.
“I’m waiting for an answer, and you know I’m not good at waiting.”
Another lie.
If she only knew. My dick is waking up with a vengeance and making me ache for her. It always was for her—my entire body and soul, or what’s left of them.
“On the bed, in my room, I think.”
Her room. In my home. Our home. Where she belongs.
I close in on her. The sense of wild fucking waters suffocates me in the best fucking way. Her hair is tied in a messy bun, her eyes and face free of any makeup. How did Rav let her get out like this?
“Do you need me to be gentle?” I ask, intertwining my fingers in her locks.
The band holding her hair snaps under my fingers, letting the strands cascade over her shoulders.
She inhales once. Just once.
I pull on the heavy locks, relishing in their silkiness.
“What are you going to do?” Her voice is shaky.
“Punish you. You need to be punished. Don’t you?”
She nods. It’s all I need.
“So, how can you be gentle, then? Do your worst,” she adds as an afterthought without looking at me.
Fuck that.
I grab her by the hair, lifting her head and making her look at me. Her eyes fall on mine. The blue is dim, and so is the green. Fuck.
“Fuck, I missed this. I’ve missed you,” I admit, removing my pawns from the board and leaving the king without protection.
Maricela was and always will be my downfall. She closes her eyes. I let her. For now.
“Why am I punishing you?”
“Because I didn’t listen.”
I reward her with another tug of her hair. Her body decides for her when she leans into my touch. Needing the pain, probably because she numbed herself to the point where she barely could feel a thing.
“Listen to what?”
“To your orders.”
“And what are you going to do from now on?” I push harder with one hand. “Answer me.”
“Listen to you.” Liar.
“Good. Such a good little girl. And by the end of today, you will say my name.”
I’m rewarded with another audible gasp. “Now I want the shirt off.”
She doesn’t react. Her eyes are still closed. It won’t do.
“Maricela, it can go both ways. You can take it off, or I will. Choose wisely.”
I can feel my muscles move under the power of her gaze. Her eyes aren’t on me, but they are open. The green in them flickers as if telling me she’s there under the pain, but the blue still rules, controlling my woman. It’s going to end.
“Maricela, I’m not going to repeat myself again,” I warn her for the last time.
Finally, she pushes her shirt off her shoulders, revealing her gorgeous tits encased in a smooth white bra. Fuck how I missed her body, her aroma, her. How I fucking missed this woman.
“This is what we’re going to do,” I say, keeping my voice steady, recalling the words of the Molina brothers.
They were both adamant that you should be calm and in a safe mental zone before using toys on a woman. They even suggested that I practice on myself first.
“You’re going to tell me your limitations, Little Girl.”
Silence, and that won’t work. I need her reactions. I need her to scream at the world, me, and all the people who dared hurt what is mine. I need her to tell me everything so I can fucking fix it for her.
“What do you want?” I ask again, this time gently. Reverently.
“I never...” Her beautiful, tanned skin turns an even warmer shade of bronze with a blush.
“You never tried kink. Well, apart from the choking part, some will call it kinky.”
Her mouth opens in a perfect O, begging me to shove my cock inside her. Oh, the times I’ve imagined her like that, at my freaking mercy.
“I don’t... I don’t want you to choke me.”
Since fucking when? My taking her control away with my hands on her neck was for her pleasure. She loved it.
“I need your hands... This thing... Please. Make it as bad as you can, please.”
I don’t take the time to think about the whys of her pleas. All I hear is the word “please” come from her delectable lips.
“No choking,” I relent.
All I ever needed was her by my side. I smack her left breast through the thin fabric of her bra, not a bralette in sight.
“How is this?” She rolls her eyes back as I do it harder.
“I need your words. Speak, Little Girl.”
“Good... That’s good.”
“Well, we have a problem on our hands, don’t we?”
I want you to pay for leaving me, for taking my only light away, for fucking making me crazy for four years.
“Get up, now.”
Her immediate obedience makes my cock giddy with anticipation for what’s to come.
Not now, though. Not like this.
“Hands on the desk, ass up.” She does as I ask, and for the first time in four years, I feel alive.
“Do you believe in atonement, Little Girl?”
“I don’t know if it exists.” Her control is starting to slip away if her shaky voice is any indication.
“Explain,” I demand.
“How do you atone for the irredeemable?”
“Hmm.”
I select one of the instruments that looks like a whip with soft leather stripes. From what I was told, it’s used to heat the skin for sensitivity.
Each strike on her ass causes her to release little sounds that go straight to my cock. Not yet, fucker. I rebuke the organ that jumps in my pants in protest. “I’ll remove your bra.”
“O–okay.” Her heavy as fuck breasts fly out of the bra as soon as I set them free. Despite how thin she’s become, those beauties didn’t go with her plan of malnourishment.
“Fuck,” I hiss.
Not waiting for permission this time, I cup the left breast in my hand, rolling it gently at first before attacking the center with a harsh pinch.
“I’m not going to let you come today.”
“O–okay,” she parrots again, apparently not able to come up with any other word.
“Not tomorrow and not the day after that. You’ll be covered with my cum for days, smelling of my horny need, but you’re going to go without.”
I kiss her shoulder before biting it.
“Oh, and Little Girl, I will know if you touched yourself.”
A loud moan leaves her, and I’m convinced everyone heard her. Good. Let them know she’s mine. “And I haven’t even started yet.”
I take a step before using the flogger on her back, her shoulder, and even her neck again and again. Her moans are quiet and made of pure lust, but she doesn’t beg, doesn’t utter my name.
“Get the black and blue floggers for me,” I order her, and it’s as if my voice has brought her out of a trance.
She does as she’s asked like such an obedient little lamb. She takes the tools, each in hand, still doing her best to lean on the desk.
“Give me the blue one,” I say, using the harshest voice I can muster.
The blue flogger is also made of leather, but this one looks like a braid. It’s rough to the touch, to the point it can do damage to the skin.
However, the black one she’s holding is much stronger. It looks like a medieval device. The handle is also made of luxurious and shiny leather, but it’s connected to a flat wooden surface at its end.
“Now I’m going to spank you, and you’ll let me do it, won’t you, Little Girl?”
“Y–yes.”
“Please,” I demand, expecting her to send me to hell like she did so many times in the best months of my life.
“Please... Please...” she repeats in desperation. I don’t wait any longer and smack her with the braid on her back, making her cry out.
“Like that. Exactly like that. Shout, scream so they can hear who you belong to. I hate you so much for what you did, but I can’t let you go, Little Girl. I can’t fucking let you go.You are my demise. My salvation. Mine.”
I keep slapping her back, warning her of what’s to come.
“Please...” she almost whispers.
“You won’t come, Little Ghost. This is a punishment,” I remind her.
“No... No... Don’t come,” she mumbles as if speaking to herself.
“So, what do you want? What do you need?”
“Harder, please.” I release the beast I’ve been holding inside.
“What is my name?” She shakes her head from side to side, almost in despair. “Maricela Fernandez, who is doing this to you? Who is making you beg?”
“I can’t. Please, don’t do it.”
“I’ll stop.” My voice is full of pain.
The pain of her leaving me, of her refusing to acknowledge me. I don’t think she notices. I don’t know if she can.
“No. No...”
I release the beast I’ve been holding inside and give it what it wants.
“What is my fucking name?” She shakes her head from side to side, almost in despair.
“Maricela Fernandez, who is doing this to you? Who is hurting you?”
“I can’t. Please. Don’t make me.”
“I’ll stop.” I kiss the tender skin on her back, making her shiver.
“No. No. No. No,” she says over and over like it’s a prayer that will save her.
“Turn to me.” She vigorously shakes her head from side to side. “Turn around, Maricela. I made you a promise, remember?”
She straightens and turns to me. I expect to see her colorful eyes red with tears, but they’re still dry. She holds the black toy tightly as if it can protect her. Wrong, she is so fucking wrong.
“Pants. And bring me that.”
I take the toy she has in her hands, waiting for her to take off her pants. It has to come from her. Just like her, I took the time to read about grief. In some cases, it can lead to catatonia. I can’t let that happen. She must be part of what is happening around her. She must let herself feel.
“Pants, Maricela. I want them on the floor.”
She moves her fingers toward the zipper of her pants and opens it slowly but not apprehensively, as if preparing herself for what’s to come. Knowing she will be tortured with pleasure. The sound of the zipper echoes around me as she slides the jeans down her legs and then removes her sneakers and pants completely.
Another thin scar I hadn’t noticed before runs across her inner thigh as if telling a story I wasn’t a part of. I approach her, looking at her smooth skin, her chest, and the tight nipples that tell of the wetness I know I’ll find between her legs.
Running the black toy over her skin, I let the wood touch her. “Do you want it? I need your words. Give me your words, Little Girl.”
“I need it,” she admits, her gaze on my shoulder.
“Do you need me to punish you?” Another nod, this time more desperate.
Her eyes are no longer closed, as if she doesn’t want to be elsewhere. I run the paddle over her skin until I reach the scar on her thigh.
“How did that happen?”
“Please don’t make me lie to you.”
I don’t ask all the questions I know I should. She said it herself. She’ll lie to me. The truth won’t come out of these lips anytime soon. This war will be extended. It’s good that I don’t give up on any challenge.
“I’m not going to pity you, and I’m not going to make you count. If I’m going too far, I want you to say red. Next time, I’ll give you time to choose your word. Is that clear?” She nods again.
“Maricela, if you don’t talk, we can’t continue this. I need to know you want it.”
“You always took care of me. Even if I don’t deserve it.”
“Why don’t you? What do you mean?”
I don’t understand what she’s talking about. Since she came back into my life, all she does is confuse me. Still, I wouldn’t trade her for anything.
“Even now, when you’re angry with me, you check if I’m okay.”
“I’m not mad at you. I’m furious.”
Needing her to understand, I continue.
“I know you much better than you think. You’re hiding something from me, something terrible. I know I bear responsibility for your leaving. Ask me if I care. I don’t. I’m a monster, Maricela, and you took from me. For that, you’ll pay with your cunt, with your body, and with your fucking soul. I should have told you about Maddox, about Raven, and fuck, even about Newton, but I didn’t. That’s on me. But leaving me is on you. You must pay for that.”
“I...”
The sadness in her eyes makes me want to turn over every stone on this earth until I find everyone who dared to extinguish the light in her eyes.
“I’m going to hurt you now. Remember, you can stop it all.”
“Okay.” She gives me her voice. Such a rare gift these days.
“Lie down on the desk.”
She looks over at the red oak desk and returns to it with sure steps.
“On your back,” I instruct her.
“I need to see your beautiful breasts. My biggest sin is wanting to keep someone like you to myself, but I’m a big enough monster that the price is worth it.”
I don’t go near her just yet, needing a second for myself. Her proximity is like a drug.
Fuck, she is my drug. Deciding on the paddle, I smack her chest hard, causing her to arch her back.
“Are you wet for me?”
I do it again, not waiting for a response. Her nipples are painfully tight, and I can’t stop myself from biting one. She lets out a shout.
“I can do this all day. Hurt you, make you cry, abuse you, and deny you what you want. Do you know why?”
She doesn’t answer, but I don’t expect her to.
Smacking her stomach, I see her white cotton panties stained with her wetness. Fuck. This woman.
“So wet. So in need of release. But you won’t touch yourself, will you?” Another blow, and another after that. “Will you?”
“Yes... Yes. I... I won’t touch myself.”
“Good girl. My good girl.”
Her scent, the moans, and whimpers escaping her without permission are the best gifts I could ever get. I don’t have to guess to know she doesn’t want to give me that power.
Maricela is a fighter, even if she believes she’s lost her energy and will to fight. Now, she’s simply battling for her apathy and lack of response, and she’s losing. And her failure is the most beautiful spectacle I have ever seen.
“I promised you that I would come on you if you said my name.”
“Why—” she tries to ask, but the blow I throw at her makes her gasp and moan.
“Why what, Little Girl?”
“Why do you want—”
Another blow, another moan, another wave of wetness, the white of her panties stained with her desire. My little girl is horny for the pain I give her.
“Why is it so important for you to hear your name?”
I bite her other nipple as a reward for her question.
“That’s the first step.” I don’t give her any more information and pull her wet panties down to her beautiful knees, breathing in the scent I’ve missed so much—the scent of a woman, the aroma of my woman.
“What... What are you doing?”
“You’re what I want. Do you want me to remind you that you belong to me?”
“No, but—” I bite her thigh hard. “But you said you wouldn’t let me— That you wouldn’t let me come.”
“Right, and you won’t. You’ll behave yourself and let me play with your pussy as much as I want, won’t you, My Little Girl? You’re what I want. Do you want me to remind you that you belong to me?”
I take the paddle and smack her cunt hard. The scream that escapes from her is music to my ears and to the ears of everyone who hasn’t already run out of the hallway leading to my office.
“I asked a question. I expect an answer.”
“Yes.” She finally looks at me. The first glimpse of defiance.
“Good girl. Now, every time you feel like you’re about to come, I want you to tell me. If you come now, I’ll punish you even harder next time, and you don’t want to let me down, do you?” She shakes her head so hard from side to side that I’m afraid for a moment she’ll hurt her neck. “Answer me out loud.”
“I won’t let you down.”
“Very good. How close are you now? Can you continue without coming?”
“Yes. I think so.”
“Good. Remember, Maricela, if you come, I’ll know it. I haven’t forgotten how your body behaves.”
It’s impossible to forget anything about her. Smacking her pussy again hard, causing her to squirm and mumble nonsense, seeing her in this desperate state of awareness of her own body, trying to concentrate to behave by my orders, is an aphrodisiac.
“Say my name.” Silence this time. I smack her stomach, moving entirely away from where she wanted me most.
“You disappoint me.”
“I can’t,” she almost begs.
“Ability and desire are two different things, Little Girl. You don’t want to.”
I pinch her nipple hard, and she cries out as if my touch on her nipple is much harder than anything I’ve done so far.
“Say my name, Maricela.”
One unruly tear rolls down her cheek, and if my balls weren’t about to explode, I’d probably pick her up and make her cry in my arms, but I know it has to happen in her own time.
“One word will stop everything.”
She doesn’t protest as I continue to abuse her body like she’s my electric guitar, and every sound she makes has me wanting to make her reach new heights.
“Say my name,” I demand again, bringing my teeth closer to her clit.
“I’m about to come!” she shouts.
I stop everything: the blows on her skin, the touch on her sensitive points.
“My good girl. You make me so proud. Now I’ll touch my cock. You can look, but you can’t touch.”
I unbutton my suit pants. I deliberately gave up underwear today.
“It’s not my fault you put your magnificent chest in the prison of your choice,” I say, reminding her of her argument about always preferring bralettes over bras.
My cock leaps out of my pants as if all it wants is to get into the little cunt that belongs to it. I stroke my cock with slow, tedious movements, watching the woman lying on the table like the best gourmet meal I’ve ever known.
“Say my name.” I’m asking this time, almost begging—something I’ve never done before. Even my sperm donor couldn’t make me beg despite everything he did to me.
“I can’t.” She sounds broken, beyond repair.
“You will,” I promise to her.
A promise she will uphold.