28. Maricela
“Maricela, mi hijita. What have they done to you? Let me call Mr. Killian. He will know what to do,” Pedro begs.
Or at least that’s what I think he does. I’m not sure what’s going on around me. Everything hurts.
“He can’t... He can’t know.” I try to get the words out through a heavy and dry tongue.
My whole body is so fucking heavy, like a mass of broken and useless bones. He destroyed me. Franco destroyed me.
“If you tell him, I will kill him. He’ll die. He’ll die because of you. And you love him. Don’t you love my little son? You do, don’t you? I can see it. You were even ready to forgive him. Pathetic slut.”
He will kill him. I can’t let Franco murder Killian.
Everything hurts so much.
“Maricela?”
I hear Ronen’s voice as if it’s coming from a distance.
“Maricela? What happened to you? I knew it was you as soon as I saw Pedro. What the hell is this? What did they do to you? It was Killian. I’ll kill him with my own hands,” Ronen roars. But why is he here? Where am I?
“No... No, not Killian.”
I think I hear Pedro explaining what happened to me. He uses the word rape. Rape. I was raped. The only thing that didn’t happen to me. The only disaster that didn’t occur to me. Raped by Killian’s father. Franco raped me.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”
Ronen, it’s only Ronen. He holds my hand. I don’t want them to touch me. I hate to feel. Touch is painful. Please, make him stop touching me. I can’t breathe. His hands are on my throat. Franco, please stop!
“She should file a complaint,” another voice says.
I’ve heard that voice before. It’s the nurse. She took care of me.
“She has tears in her vulva, and her throat is bruised.”
I try to lift my arm, but I can’t. It’s broken. I know that. I felt the snap of the bone. And my hand... “Her hand will take time to heal as well.”
She speaks to Ronen while examining me. He stays with us for days. Me and his sister.
Unlike Serena, Ronen loves his family. She hates me. She never loved me.
“This young woman needs to file a complaint,” the nurse says again.
She keeps talking about a complaint. Complain to whom? To this world? Why? Why am I here? Why was I allowed to love so deeply? Killian. He’s in my thoughts. He’s always here.
“I’m sorry, Little Girl. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry,”he says again and again, and I forgive him. I forgive him. I just want it all to stop.
“You’re leaving the hospital today,” Ronen announces from beside my bed. “Pedro said Killian is looking for you. He needs to know where you are,” Ronen begs, but I don’t speak. My decision hasn’t changed. She didn’t call. Serena didn’t ask about me. My sister dumped me in a prestigious hospital, leaving me behind. It would be better if she had let me die. Yes, death would suit me right now.
“Maricela, you need to eat. Otherwise, you won’t recuperate.”
Ronen took me to his house. I refused to go anywhere else. I refused to go back there. To him. To them. He is looking for me. Raven is looking for me. They don’t know where I am, as I only agreed to come here if Ronen kept my secrets. Raven called him, but he didn’t tell her anything. Julian is also looking for me. Everyone is looking for me. Everyone but Serena.
“You look much better,” Ronen says. His hands hover over my skin, but he doesn’t touch me. The last time he did, I screamed.
“He’ll find me here. He’ll find me here.”
“He should know, Mari.”
No. No, he doesn’t need to know anything. He cheated on me with her. With his fiancée. I was nothing more than a pawn on his chessboard. He betrayed me and left me to the wolves, and the wolf left me nothing but bones.
They need to think I’m dead. Because I am. I’m dead, dead, dead.
Still Another Week Later
“You need to start walking, Mari. The doctor said it’s important,” Ronen insists.
“You should go be with your sister,” I tell him. My voice sounds stronger. Or at least I think it does. I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.
“She said it’s okay. She’s not mad.” He told her about me. He had no choice. She looked for him in the hospital, and she saw me. Ronen’s sister’s shouts still resonate within me. It’s a good thing it wasn’t in those first few days.
“I need to escape.” I’ve decided. I need to run away. I need to run to a place where he’ll never find me. A place where the wolf monster will never find me again.
“Maricela, you’re not fully recovered.”
Ronen is unhappy with me. My friend is angry. He wants me to talk, to pull out of this. He begs for it every night. Every night, I eat the food Ronen makes for me. I let him vent, and then I go to sleep. Sleeping is good. I can see him there. He’s still begging for my forgiveness, and I love him. Still.
“Good. You look much better.” Ronen smiles as he brings me food. He always brings me food. “I have to go to chemo with my sister today.”
“It’s okay, I’ll stay here.” I’m lying. I must get out, get out, and plan my next move.
“You’ll stay here,” Ronen says again as if deciding for me.
After Ronen leaves, I borrow one of his shirts and a knife. I need protection. He has colossal kitchen knives but also a small one. It’s used for small things, but it’s sharp. Sharp and dangerous.
There are many people on the street. They smile and rush about. They’re always in a hurry to get somewhere. I go into a cafe, and people stare at me. I know they’re staring. It’s already hot, and I’m in heavy clothes, but it’s fine. The sweat says I’m alive. I’m still breathing.
“I’d like a coffee, please,” I say. Then, remembering I have no money, I go out without collecting my order.
I don’t know how long I’ve been walking the streets. Probably hours, I assume, because I’m alone now. There’s no one around. But that’s okay because the darkness is my friend. No one sees me. Nobody knows where I am.
I keep walking, maybe for another hour and then another. My legs are heavy, but they work. And then I’m standing in front of the mansion. I’m here. I need to go in and eliminate the wolf. Yes, that’s what I need to do. Kill the wolf monster.
“Who are you? We don’t do charity,” a stiff, masculine voice I haven’t heard before says.
I can’t speak, not with him, not with anyone. I shouldn’t have come. I take steps back. A few more steps, and I’ll be in a safe place. He won’t see me. I shouldn’t have come.
“It’s you!” the wolf monster says. It’s a voice I won’t ever forget. I’ll never forget that voice.
He can’t touch me, he can’t touch me. Not the wolf. Why did the wolf come out? Why did he come out of his den? Run. I need to run.
“Take care of her. Immediately!” the wolf monster orders and disappears. The wolf disappeared, but he sent the crow to do his job in his place.
“Stop. It will be much easier if you stop.”
Run, run. Run, run, Maricela!And I am running. There are no people here. The wolf monster’s mansion is far from other people. Wolves don’t like to see people. They hide in caves. But crows don’t hide. They hunt and lead the wolf to their prey. I’m the prey. Run, Maricela, fucking run, he begs me. He loves me.
“Bitch,” the crow shouts. “I’ll catch you,” he yells. “There you are. I’ve caught you, and now you’re going to die. You’re going to die. You’re going to die.”
He suffocates me. His hand goes around my neck. They’re big, so fucking big. I almost let him do it. He’s suffocating me. He’s suffocating me. The knife. I have a knife.
Somehow, I find the strength to slip the knife from my pocket. I slice and stab. He tries to kick me, so I stab him, and I don’t stop. I keep sticking the knife into him, hitting him from all sides. Anywhere I can reach until I get to his face.
I never thought it would be so challenging to stick a knife into muscle. It’s his cheek. The muscle resists, but I push it inside his flesh with all the strength I have left.
“Slut!” he shouts, but I don’t stop. I continue my assault. His face, his face, I will take his face from him. I scrape the knife across his cheek, and finally, I see it. Blood. His blood, I will never forget his face. Never.
“You have to go to the doctor, Maricela. You’re throwing up every morning,” Ronen insists, but I know what’s going on. I know, and I can’t go to the doctor.
“You have to make a decision. You can’t go on like this.”
“I won’t survive knowing I’m pregnant.”
“You will survive, and it’s not too late to...” Ronen doesn’t finish the sentence, but we both know what I must do. We both know what I will do.
“I’m sorry, my love,” I say to the tattooed man I love. “I can’t take the chance that it’s the wolf’s monster son. You’ll never know. You’ll never know what I’m about to do.”