51. Killian
The submissive look in her colorful eyes makes me want to destroy the world for her. The knowledge I can’t take her pain away has the power to demolish me.
“Do you remember what you promised me?”
Finally, she aligns her gigantic gaze with mine. The green was almost invisible and swallowed into the blue as if she had surrendered to her fate. I can’t let that happen.
“Your promise. Do you remember what the promise you gave me was?” I see confusion in her eyes, and I can’t help but grin.
“Killian...” she pleads.
“Maricela, you made a promise to me. You stood on that desk in school, and you made a promise. You said you were mine, that you belonged to me. Do you remember?”
She nods as silent tears continue to stream down her face.
“And you know that I take care of the things and people who belong to me.” Her hand rises to cover her mouth.
“Killian...” she repeats, and I hear the hope there this time.
“No. You listen to me. I heard everything you said, and I’m still here. I’m still here, and I have no intention of letting you get away. I won’t leave you, and I won’t leave the children. Hell, Maricela, I’m even ready to learn to swim and overcome my fear of water so that Connie can be safe and enter the water without fears of her own. Do you understand what you’ve done to me?”
She shakes her head. “But I killed—”
“No. You were traumatized. You weren’t in the right place in your head. And yes, I won’t lie to you. I want children. But even if you can’t carry a child, we have two kids already.”
“You can’t forgive me for what I did.”
“Why? Because you hate yourself for it, so I should, too? Do you need someone to justify your self-hatred? Is that it? I don’t hate you. I admire you for what you’ve survived. You’re here, with me. You came back, and maybe with more cracks than before, but not broken. Nothing, even all that, wasn’t able to break my little girl.”
I lift her head and kiss her lips. This kiss is different from all the others I’ve given her so far, one that promises everything will be fine—that I’ll be there even in the difficult moments and all the good ones, too.
I don’t know how long I kiss her, but she lets me. This is the first time the passion isn’t there. No, this kiss is full of sorrow, filled with hope, and surrounded with the promise of a better future. A future we’ll create for ourselves because we can.
“What do you need from me? What do you need to believe that I don’t hate you? What do you need to forgive me for not being there, Maricela? Just say it, and I’ll do it.”
“Take me home and make love to me on our bed.”