Chapter 18 #2
Jordan had returned home first since Wren still needed to work, but I heard he’d come back earlier today. I was sure the two of them were too wrapped up in each other to even notice a bear barging into their cabin, much less Lily’s barking.
I pressed a kiss against Ryan’s rapid pulse, and he shivered. “At least let me go inside first,” he muttered.
Lily whined and danced around our feet anxiously. I relented, released him, and the lady finally quieted down and headed toward the front door. She paused a few steps away and turned her head toward us with her tongue lolling out like she was confused why we weren’t following her.
Ryan laughed and tugged my hand. “C’mon, before she gets upset again. I’m sure she wants to lie in her nest.”
Lily had started nesting earlier this week. At first, she’d grab random rags from around the house. Those, I was happy to give her. The expensive clothes she’d pulled out of my laundry basket, not so much.
At first, I tried to take them back, but she always went to the laundry basket for more. And after seeing Ryan and even Karla happily contribute some of their clothes to her nest, I knew I very well couldn’t keep being stingy. Especially not when the mama would give birth any day now.
As Ryan predicted, Lily padded to her nest as soon as we entered the cabin.
She’d made it in the corner of the living room, probably liking that the spot had a full view of the entire cabin while being tucked away.
I was still worried about her feeling too exposed, so I’d made her a simple wooden whelping box for her spot.
She plopped down in the middle of the nest, then looked our way and watched until I closed the front door before finally lying her head down to rest.
Ryan smiled but didn’t say anything as he pulled me to the bedroom, saying we shouldn’t disturb her. I obediently followed him, happy to go anywhere with him.
“Wait here. I’m gonna wash up real quick,” he instructed, had me sit on the bed, then entered the ensuite bathroom.
A moment later, the shower turned on. My eyes were peeled in the direction of the bathroom, my body stiff as I waited for his return.
I didn’t know how much time had passed before I finally heard the water stop. Ryan returned to the room with a towel wrapped low on his hips. He’d dried himself, but stray droplets still clung to his smooth skin.
“When I said to wait here, I didn’t mean you couldn’t move at all,” he said with a smile when he found me in the exact same spot he’d left me.
“I like obeying your orders,” I replied truthfully.
“Is that so?” He laughed with amusement and walked my way. His steps were slow, deliberate, and so fucking seductive that I was hard by the time he finally reached me.
Ryan pushed me onto my back, then climbed on top to straddle my legs. His erection pressed against my own, only separated by the soft towel.
My hands found their way to his hips. I wanted to tear the towel away and have the heat of his skin pressed against mine. My finger played with the smooth skin above the piece of fabric instead. Ryan trembled under my fingers.
“You’re beautiful,” I said softly.
Ryan laughed, the sound musical in the quiet night. “Yeah? I’ve never been called beautiful before.”
“Well, you are. I’ve thought so since we were kids. ”
“Surely you didn’t think so when we first met,” he said with a smile.
The first time I saw Ryan, he was squatting by the river, lost, and crying so hard that he had tears and snot running down his face.
I chuckled and replied truthfully, “I thought I’d picked up a little crybaby back then. Who knew I’d actually picked up a treasure?”
Something inside Ryan’s eyes softened, and he leaned over to kiss me. “If it weren’t for you finding me and bringing me back to Grandma’s winery, I might still be lost and crying by the river. You saved me.”
I laughed at the exaggeration, but I wasn’t going to reject the sweet kisses he sent my way as reward. All the while, his hands sent shivers through my body as he followed the ridges of my muscles down my chest.
I was panting, cock straining with need and leaking precum for his touch, but when his hand brushed over my pelvis, I stopped him from moving lower. As much as I wanted him, my worries prevented me from fully enjoying this moment.
“What’s wrong?” Ryan asked when I stopped him.
I pulled him down and rolled us to our sides, so we were facing each other. “You said you had some exciting news?” I prompted.
Please don’t say you found a place outside of town. Please!
I chanted in my head as Ryan’s eyes lit up at the mention of this news .
“That’s right! I went to the city today?—”
“You went to the city?” I asked, panicking now. I thought they said he was looking at places in the next town over, not in the freaking city. The city was over an hour away.
Sure, Ryan might take Karla there every weekend for her therapy sessions, but was that what our relationship would turn into? Weekly appointments to visit each other for a few measly hours?
Completely oblivious to my inner turmoil, Ryan happily nodded and continued, “Yeah. Since I didn’t have Karla with me today, I figured I’d sneak away and take care of something very important.”
“And what’s that?” I asked, impatient for an answer.
“Are you very curious?” His eyes glinted under the artificial light. He was definitely teasing me, but with how anxious I was, I wasn’t in the mood to play along.
I just wanted him to put me out of my misery as quickly as possible. If he was going to leave, then the sooner he told me, the sooner I could prepare my heart.
“Tell me?” I half-said, half-begged. I was so anxious I wasn’t even hard anymore.
Ryan continued smiling and cupped my cheek. “You know how you told me you got checked after you broke up with your ex?”
“Yeah?” I frowned, confused why he was bringing that up.
I naturally went to get tested after finding out Deke had been cheating on me.
Who knew how long he’d been messing around with other people, and although he and I always used protection, it never hurt to be extra careful.
I was relieved when all the tests came back negative.
Ryan smoothed the wrinkle my frown caused. “I thought I’d get checked as well,” he said with a mischievous smirk.
“You did? Wait—does that mean you’re not moving to the city?” I asked, heart still pounding.
It was his turn to be confused. “Why would I move to the city?”
“I dunno. I thought maybe you’d want to be closer to Karla’s therapist or something,” I muttered.
Ryan scooted closer and pressed our foreheads together. “Jones, I’m not leaving. Kither Springs is my home. It’s Karla’s home, too.”
“Okay,” I murmured, but his words didn’t settle the worry that’d carved its way deep into my heart.
I trusted Ryan, I really did, but the evil voice inside my head kept telling me that if he was able to leave me once, he could do it again.
It didn’t matter if the first time was because of extenuating circumstances—his dad was dying, and adding on the confusing emotions he was feeling after I kissed him, I understood now why he ran.
I didn’t like that he did, but I understood.
Logically, unless there were more extenuating circumstances, he wouldn’t run again, but I still couldn’t escape the fear that he would.
“If you leave?—”
“I’m not,” Ryan insisted. He sounded so sure .
“But if you do, will you tell me first? Don’t just disappear on me, okay?” I pleaded, hoping I didn’t sound like I was blaming him for ghosting me ten years ago.
Ryan searched my eyes, looking for something. I didn’t know if he found whatever it was, but he pressed a soft kiss to my lips, then said, “If I plan on leaving again, I’ll take you with me.”
“Yeah?” I replied with a small smile, the knot inside me loosening a bit.
“I really regret running away,” he said, stroking my cheek.
“You told me not to apologize anymore, so I won’t.
Instead, I’ll make it up to you by showing you every day that I choose you.
Whether it’s today, tomorrow, or decades down the line, I choose to stay by your side.
I love you, Jones. I’ve probably loved you since before I even knew what love was.
I loved you before I was ready to accept that I could ever feel this much for someone.
But I was stupid to turn away from those emotions once.
I won’t be stupid and do it again. I. Love. You.”
Each word he emphasized loosened more of my doubts until they seemed silly now.
“I love you,” I choked out, kissing him again. “I’ve loved you for so fucking long, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love you.”
Ryan’s eyes softened. “I know. Thank you for loving me for all this time. Thank you for being patient with me. ”
Did I hate the time we spent apart? Fuck, yes. I was so helpless from his disappearance that I was filled with anger. I probably even hated him for a while.
Now, having him here with me, telling me he loved me and promising to stay by my side, it lessened the painful memories of our decade-long separation.
We found each other again.
“Why did you suddenly get tested?” I asked, getting back on track now that I wasn’t fearful of him leaving me at any second.
He grinned, pearly whites on full display. “You told me you’ve never gone raw with anyone before, and neither have I.”
My pulse kicked up again as I waited for him to continue.
“All my tests came back clear, in case you were wondering,” he said, flipping me onto my back and straddling me again.
“Oh, yeah?” I said, my voice was weak as I watched him. I was already at half-mast from his declaration.
He smirked and hummed in confirmation. “Speaking of…we have the entire cabin to ourselves tonight. Don’t you think it’s the perfect time to try something new?” He finished his words by giving my ass a tight squeeze.
How else was I supposed to reply to that other than by kissing the hell out of him and finally freeing him of his damn towel?