Chapter 17
Tristan
I’m heaving, pain radiating up my broken arm, but all I can focus on is the carnage in front of me. No longer needing to fight Gloombane, I sit back and take it all in.
I pull the spikes back into my shadow as I turn my gaze from the wreckage of the captain’s face to the sobbing pile of misery, skin, and bones that is Nate. Blood still drips from the open wound in his arm, and that gets me moving.
I can’t believe anyone could have done this to him.
On shaky legs, I get up and take off my cloak. At some point, I won’t be able to ignore my arm anymore, but for now, Nate needs my attention far more.
I cover his shaking form with the warm cloak.
“I’m here. I’ll take care of everything,” I say, wondering whether I’m hiding his body from myself. Seeing him this emaciated cuts me deeper than a blade through the heart could have, because I left him here. Assured him how all would be fine. Convinced him to not make a fuss.
And look at him now. Look at the sunken cheeks, hollowed-out eyes, and ribs poking through the skin. I might as well have done this to him myself.
Even his eyes look different. Gone is the playful glint hiding beneath the softness. They’ve become two holes of grief.
“Where were you? You left me with this monster for so many weeks,” he cries, as tears once again roll down his face.
His voice is like razors and will leave scars. I’m still so shocked by all of this I’m struggling to catch up with reality. I pull the cloak closed around him, unsure what to make of the dead shadow eel on his chest. That’s something to think about later.
I kneel next to him and stroke his shaved head. “I… I didn’t know. He sent letters—”
What a pathetic excuse. I should have come sooner, investigated. But my self-pity isn’t his problem. I deserve his wrath.
“H-he made me write them. I thought… I thought you’d see something’s wrong,” Nate mumbles. “But you didn’t, because you don’t actually know me. I was such an idiot. You let your prince die, why would you be any more careful with me?”
It’s bitterness speaking—and pain, so so much pain—but his words still hurt. They’re meant to be cruel.
My heart sinks, and I can’t bring myself to meet his eyes.
There’s only one thing I can think of to even begin making amends for his ordeal.
“I vow to never fail you again,” I whisper, and reach for his shadow. It’s so vulnerable now and leans my way even as Nate recoils.
I do what I should have done two months ago. I pick a thread off his shadow and let it sit in my palm as my own extends to it. I close both in my hand, sealing our fate forever.
“You will be mine. I will always protect you.” I have to fight the tears threatening to spill from my eyes when I sense his heartbeat in our new bond. This is how things should have been all along.
I just wish we were making our promises in the moonlight, not in a damp dungeon over the corpse of his tormentor.
But when he stares at my palm and the threads that have become one, his gaunt form stiffens, arm bones poking at the cloak as he shakes, taking a deep, raspy breath.
“What… no… no, no, no,” he whimpers, letting his voice break. “I didn’t agree to this. How—” His gaze is now darker than Gloombane’s heart must have been. “How dare you?”
The accusation in his voice knocks the air out of me, but before I can explain, frail hands jut from under the cloak, and Nate weakly beats my chest with his fists. “I don’t want this! I’ll never want this! I want to go home!”
I’m at loss, somewhere between elation and grief.
He must be confused by what I mean after what he went through at Gloombane’s hands.
I pull him closer instead of letting him push me away, because he’s cold, and I want to offer him the warmth of my body.
“Shhh… This is my promise, Nate. You’re safe.
You will be my Dark Companion. Do you understand? ”
He shoves at me so violently his nail bites into the flesh of my cheek, drawing blood. “No! Take it back! I’m not your property, I won’t be! I’d rather die!”
I can’t force him to stay in my arms, so I let him pull away and stare, trying to gather my thoughts.
“I… Nate. It’s… it’s done now. You’re my promised.
I can’t take it back,” I mutter as my heart sinks in my chest. Have I…
been too hasty? “I don’t even care about your shadow. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
Nate covers his face, crumbling under the velvet cloth. “Of course you don’t care. It’s worthless. I’m worthless. I just want to go home…”
I swallow, sparing Gloombane another glance. We’ve killed the captain of the Nightcloaks. And the irrefutable proof is etched on Nate’s skin. Fuck.
“Sweetheart. You’re not worthless. This sack of shit here was.
You will be my Dark Companion,” I try again, “and you will be cherished, protected, adored. You’re my promised now, but we can go up into the moonlight and deepen the bond even tonight.
I will cover you in my shadow, and you need to say—”
“I’m not saying shit!” Nate hisses, eyes full of so much hate I can feel it flaring down our shadow bond.
I clear my throat. “Come. I’ll take you out of here,” I whisper, and this time he doesn’t protest, just lowers his eyes, letting me pull him closer.
As I attempt to lift him with both my hands, the numbness of my left arm turns into blinding pain, and I have to grit my teeth, waiting for it to pass.
But I scoop him up with my healthy arm as soon as the worst of the pain is over, because his soul’s even more scarred than his body, and I can’t stand him being in this dungeon a moment longer.
He’s so light now I dread to think how much weight he’s lost. He wraps his arms around my neck and curls against me as I climb the stairs in silence, but it’s not a hug. He’s just making sure I’m carrying him securely with one arm.
A part of me is glad for the physical pain I’m in, because it takes at least some of my mind off the guilt seeping into every inch of my body. Even if he never chooses to become my Dark Companion, at least no one else will be able to bind his shadow for as long as I live.
The blood moon no longer looks beautiful when we emerge into its glow. At least the fog Gloombane had created is now gone.
I spread my wings when we reach the window at the top of the tower, and with a heavy heart, I take him to safety.