Chapter 9Anna
Chapter Nine
ANNA
Stretching awake, I turned over and away from the window as the sun glinted off the glass. Muffled cooing leaked through the thin windowpanes from the nesting pigeon that sat on the windowsill.
I curled into a ball thinking about the day before. It’d been a beautiful wedding, minus the guy crashing it, or that’s what I was told. I didn’t even see what happened. One minute, Ari and I were dancing, the next he was pulling away. He growled that he’d be back and took off. When he returned, he’d been a little on edge. He was still sweet to me, but whoever that guy was, he’d messed with the wrong Grecian god.
Being in the bridal party, that close to Lucas and Claire, listening to them exchange vows and pledge ‘til-death-do-us-part nearly made me turn green. Not with envy, but with disgust that my brother would expect me to do that with a stranger.
The whole situation was mind-bending. One second, I was eating up Ari’s attention, the next I wanted to demand that he stop. I’d never had this sort of…nuclear bomb of attraction and want for a man before. I liked Ari. There was something about that man that made me want to spend rainy days snuggled against him as I ate popcorn and watched The Princess Bride .
My biggest issue was my dating history. If I couldn’t keep a boyfriend, how could I expect to keep a husband? What if, down the road, Ari realized I wasn’t what he wanted? It wouldn’t be that hard to fall in love with him. Not with the way he treated me, which was better than any man, past or present, had ever treated me.
No one, not one man, had ever asked me what my dreams were. The conversations were always about them. Their goals. Their plans. What I wanted was irrelevant. I didn’t get that feeling from Ari. He asked me because he wanted to know me. There’d been something in his voice that was different. He was looking straight at me too. It wasn’t a flippant, impress-me question.
I rolled onto my back, grabbed my pillow, and held it over my face while I screamed. The last thing I needed was the cops called because my across-the-hall neighbor, Mrs. Ledbetter, thought I was being murdered. I’d howled with frustration that night Ari teased me, and she’d peeked her head out with her finger hovering above her phone screen.
A knock came from my door. I popped up, letting my pillow hit the floor. I’d given the doorman the okay on Ari last night when he dropped me off. Maybe…maybe he was thinking about me too. This thought made me deliriously happy.
I hopped out of bed and forced myself to take my time getting to the door. No way was I going to give him the correct impression that I was excited to see him.
My world tilted when I looked through my peephole. I flung the door open. “Papa?” The word rushed out.
My papa was dressed in the same type of suit he’d been in the last time I saw him, dark gray like his eyes, with a solid gray tie. His thinning hair was now close cut and only a shade lighter than his suit. He’d aged well, but there were more lines on his face.
“My Anna.” Only, it came out like Ah-na . Papa was the only one who spoke my name that way. His lips broke into a wide smile. “My love.”
The statement of affection stunned me briefly. “My love?” I stared at him. “Papa, you left. It’s been three years!” It didn’t feel right. Every atom was screaming that this was bad, but the daddy’s girl I used to be squealed at the sight of him.
His expression grew somber. “May I please come inside? I can explain.”
I stood there, debating. How many times had I dreamed this right after he left the country? Opening my door to find him open-armed waiting for me to throw myself at him.
Stepping back, I waved him in, shutting the door once he’d crossed the threshold. “Okay, explain.” I crossed my arms over my chest, sticking close to the door.
“First, are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I paused a beat and added, “For a girl who was abandoned by her father out of the blue and without a single goodbye.”
His chest expanded as he took a deep breath. “I had no choice.”
“You were the boss, and you expect me to believe that?”
Sighing, Papa’s expression turned stern. “Anna, sit, so we can talk.”
I dropped my arms and walked to the couch, flopping down. I’d hear him out. “Okay, I’m sitting. Talk.”
On his way to the love seat across from me, he unbuttoned his suit and folded into the chair. His head tilted and a smile graced his lips. “My goodness. You’ve only become more beautiful since the last time I saw you.”
“Papa, please tell me what happened. Jason wouldn’t even talk to me. One day I had a family, and the next I didn’t. What did I do?”
“Nothing. You did nothing, Anna.” His gaze lowered to the floor. “You and Jason were very close, and I don’t wish to speak ill of him, but…” His eyes met mine. “I didn’t retire. Jason orchestrated a coup. He took the family from me. ”
“What?” I came to the edge of the couch.
“He wanted to move the family in a distasteful direction, and I disagreed.”
I knitted my eyebrows together. “What sort of distasteful direction?”
Papa held my gaze. “Trafficking women.”
That warred against what I remembered or thought I remembered. Jason was trying to convince Papa to close the strip clubs before everything happened.
Shaking my head, I replied, “No, Papa, I don’t believe you. The last strip club closed two weeks ago. Why close the club if that’s where he wanted to take the family?”
“That’s why we fought. I wanted to keep the clubs and stay out of the sex trafficking. He thought if we closed the clubs, it would make it look like we weren’t in that line of business anymore. Law enforcement would turn their attention to another family, leaving us to profit under the radar.”
When I didn’t speak, he went on. “We’d been fighting for control, and the day I left, he’d struck the final blow. He said he would kill you if I didn’t relinquish my power. That he would make me watch while he did it and that he would do it as slow as possible to torture me.” His eyes held tears. “I couldn’t do it. To keep you safe, I left without saying a word. He didn’t trust me to say goodbye.”
My head throbbed. Papa was telling me my brother threatened to kill me to obtain power so he could sell women and children. That didn’t make sense. Jason and I were close…until he began pulling away. It’d been a slow progression over many months. It wasn’t until Papa left that I realized I’d lost my family. Jason wouldn’t explain why. I was excommunicated.
But Papa was here. “If that’s true, why are you here? Wouldn’t Jason know? Wouldn’t that mean you’re putting me in danger right now?”
He moved to the edge of the seat, like all of a sudden he needed to whisper. “Jason is distracted, and I still have loyalists inside the family who don’t like the things he’s done. We are taking advantage in the hopes that I can reclaim my power and stop what is happening.”
I had no clue what to think.
“Please, Anna, believe me.” He stood. “I have missed you terribly. You have been in my thoughts. I have worked to reunite with you from the moment Jason forced me out of the country.”
My eyes burned with unshed tears. I looked up at him. “All this time. These people loyal to you couldn’t have passed along a message to me?”
“It wasn’t that simple. They had to be careful too, but the number of men who back me has grown. That’s how I was able to sneak into the city. Even now, they are putting their lives at risk so I could see you.”
I pushed off the couch. “Papa, you broke my heart. How can I trust that you won’t do it again?”
Without another word, he gathered me into his arms like he would when I was a teenager. “I will prove my worthiness to you. I will fight to stay with you this time.” He leaned back, holding me by the arms. “I was too weak last time. That’s not the case now.”
“What will happen to Jason?”
“I hope I can make him see reason. If not, I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt him. He’s my son. I love him as I love you, but he has wronged me.”
Pushing away from him, I walked to the door, opening it. “I need time to think, Papa.” My heart was shattered. Papa leaving me, and Jason being responsible.
The idea that Jason and Papa had been locked in a silent, deadly struggle for power all these years seemed absurd, yet terrifyingly plausible. How could I have missed the signs? Were there clues hidden in plain sight, obscured by my childish innocence or willful ignorance?
I'd always prided myself on being perceptive, on understanding the world around me. But now, as I stared at my father, his familiar face suddenly seemed like that of a stranger. Every assumption I'd ever made about my life, my family, and my place in the world came crashing down around me.
The weight of this new reality settled over me, heavy and suffocating. It was as if every doubt, every fleeting moment of uncertainty I'd ever experienced had coalesced into a tangible force, pressing down on me. My confidence crumbled, replaced by a paralyzing sense of vulnerability and confusion.
In that moment, staring at the man I thought I knew, I felt more lost and alone than I ever had before. The solid ground I thought I stood on had turned to quicksand, and I was sinking fast, with no idea how to save myself.
He crossed the room, stopping right outside the door. “Will you at least take my number so that you can contact me if you wish?”
A debate waged. My heart was hurting so badly. I didn’t want to give him an inch, but he was my papa. I’d missed him so much. Nodding, I left him, went to my room, and grabbed my phone. When I returned, I handed it to him. He typed his number and handed it back.
“Call or text anytime. I look forward to hearing from you. We have so much to catch up on.”
“Bye, Papa.” I shut the door as he stood there looking at me. Sad eyes, downturned mouth. Misery pouring off him.
I burst into tears as I raced to my bed, diving onto it and pulling the covers over my head. My world was crumbling around my feet. I wanted to curl into a ball, cry my eyes out, and… I didn’t know what. I knew that whatever plans I had for that day we re canceled.
My phone chiming dragged me from sleep. I’d cried, cried some more, and then cried even more. Then I’d ordered a half dozen donuts from a new twenty-four-hour place that delivered and chowed down. Well, four of them. I hadn’t eaten all day. I wanted to eat my feelings via something sweet, sticky, and tasty.
Searching through the sheets on the bed, I located my phone and checked the screen. Two missed calls and a dozen missed texts. The calls were from telemarketers, two of the texts were from a designer wanting to see if I was available to model for him, and the rest were from Ari.
Before I could finish typing out a message, a knock came from my door. To say I was leery after the last visiting guest was an understatement. What were the chances it was Jason? Here to try to sway me to his side? My heart wasn’t ready for a talk with him.
“Anna.” Another two knocks. “Anna, it’s Ari.”
Ari? I stumbled out of bed and walked to the door, opening it a fraction. “I’m sorry. I fell asleep.”
“It’s okay. After yesterday at the wedding…” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I was worried. ”
“Worried?”
He lifted his head and his eyes caught mine. “That man was Marco Moretti. He’s about as honorable as Lorenzo. With him having… I wanted to make sure you were safe.” His eyebrows knitted together. “Have you been crying?”
I tore my gaze away and looked down. “It’s girl stuff.” I didn’t want to tell him about Papa. What if he was telling the truth about Jason? If so, was Ari involved too? Maybe that’s why Jason wanted this union. To fight my father and plunge the family into darkness.
“Girl stuff, huh? I do have a sister, ya know.” There was humor in his voice. “May I come in?”
“I feel like a cow. My legs aren’t shaved, my breath stinks, and I’m a hot mess. You don’t want to see me like this.”
The throaty moan caught my attention and I looked at him. Mischief gleamed in his eyes. “May I please come in and hold you?”
What was it with him and his please s? It was like my ability to say no was gone when he did that. No one else could do that to me. “Fine.” I opened the door wide enough for him to enter. “I’m warning you though. I’ve got donut breath and the ability to slice you with my freshly grown leg hairs.”
Without a word, he slipped off his coat, revealing a sleeveless shirt and sweatpants. On his feet were a pair of sneakers that, surprisingly, weren’t designer. He was the most dressed down I’d seen.
Seeing his bare arms for the first time set off butterflies. They were cannons, and both had tattoos covering them from the shoulder to the bend in his elbow. I held in a sigh, but it was hard not to stare at the muscled perfection standing before me. I found my tongue and managed to wrangle the alphabet. “I was beginning to think all you owned were designer suits and expensive shoes.”
“On Sundays, I work out. I showered at the gym, and as I was driving home, I had a sudden and uncontrollable desire for a hot mess.”
That sugar-laced tongue of his even had my ovaries swooning. “I swear, you keep saying things like that and I’m going to start calling you Romeo for real.”
“Ari,” he said in a husky whisper. “Please.”
Ari. A whispered my hung itself in front of his name. I quickly shut that thought down. Not mine. Yet. I would have whiplash by the time he left.
He turned around, looking over my apartment. “You’ve got good taste.” Tipping his head toward my couch, he asked, “Mind if I sit?”
“No, go ahead. Do you want something to drink? I’ve got water and milk.” I chuckled. “I know the selection is overwhelming.”
“For right now, I only want you.” He walked to the couch and sat. “Would you please come sit with me?”
Will you please walk off a bridge? Sure, I’d love to. I needed to find my no that didn’t seem to apply to him. The whole conversation happened in my head as I strolled over to the couch and sat down.
Ari pulled me across his lap, wrapped his arms around me, and held me. That’s it. Silence filled my apartment to the point I could hear my heartbeat. Eventually, I leaned my head against his shoulder and snuggled closer.
I kept waiting for him to ask questions. To probe and prod. He didn’t. Why didn’t he? I had salacious information he needed to pull from me. He had no clue there was a chance if we chatted long enough, I might’ve spilled my guts.
“You’re not going to ask me what’s wrong?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
“You’ll tell me when you’re ready.”
Silence stretched while I chewed on that. “You’re not going to try to fix it?” They’d be blind solutions, but men were fixers. Every boyfriend I’d ever had seemed incapable of simply listening.
“I can’t fix what I don’t know.”
I leaned back so I could look him in the eyes. “Why? Why don’t you want to know? Or want to fix things?”
His hand came to my face, thumb caressing my cheek. “When you decide to pour your heart out to me, I’ll be here, hands cupped, waiting to catch you. Until then, I’ll hold you. Maybe that’s all you need anyway. You don’t always need me to slay your dragons. Maybe you only need someone to guard you while you figure out what to do with them.”
My fist landed on his solid chest. I didn’t hit him hard. I was frustrated. “I swear you always have the right answer. You’re driving me crazy. Why can’t you be…a pain in my butt!”
Humor reflected in his eyes. “One of these days I will be. I’m going to say the wrong thing. I’m going to make you so angry you’ll want to kill me in my sleep. I want you to have all these moments for those times when I fail you. So you have something to hold on to. To remind you that I’m redeemable.”
I should have brushed my teeth. My tongue darted across my bottom lip as my eyes dropped to his mouth. My head was screaming about donut breath and my heart and other parts were saying to heck with it. Kiss me, Romeo. Please.
“No.”
My eyebrows knitted together. “No, what?”
“I came over when you’d been crying. You can beg until kingdom comes, but I won’t kiss you.”
“How—”
Those lips lifted in a smug, lopsided grin I wanted to smack right off his face. “Your body does a lot more talking than your mouth.”
I wanted to be mad, but how could I be? Men had been handsy with me in the past, taken advantage of situations, and been smarmy. He was being chivalrous. “Fine.” I slumped against him, flattening my hands against his chest, and sighing. “Then hold me. I need you to hold me.”
“As long as you want me to.”
And with that statement, I smiled and waved as my heart went right over the cliff.
My dragon flapped its wings and my vision filled with Papa’s visit. What was I going to do about that?
Why did it feel like the universe had painted a giant target on my face in a game of dodgeball? I needed everything to stop long enough for me to catch my breath. Give me five minutes, universe, five minutes. Please.