Chapter 28 #2
“Can we talk about this somewhere else?” He grabs hold of my hand and his thumb bumps the foul bauble banding my finger. Almost unbearable, the cool gold against my skin is blistering and constricting and it’s then the violent urgency to take off the ring is greatest.
I’d been questioning myself since hearing Reagan’s claim, trying to decipher what was at the root of my raging sadness.
Sure, she had the element of surprise and I was somewhat embarrassed, but that wasn’t enough to cause this gaping wound in my chest. Am I hurt because of our lies?
The lies we told so many people. The lies we told ourselves.
Or was it not knowing that Zach had been with Reagan or that he had proposed to her that hurts the most?
Or was it that our arrangement, false and doomed, wasn’t special or unique?
He propositioned another woman before me and like her, I’m replaceable. If our deal didn’t work out, he’d find another woman to stand by his side.
Even knowing our arrangement had always been business, I desperately wanted to believe his feelings were pure and true. I wanted to believe he loved me. My disgust for myself is immeasurable.
“No. I want to talk about this now.”
Frowning, his gaze swings behind him, searching for something. Does he want to make sure we’re alone? No one can overhear his confession or know about his dastardly deeds?
“Answer me.”
His brows arch, not missing the bite in my tone. In a hoarse voice, almost a whisper that I don’t recognize, he says, “It was an arrangement.”
“Hmm. You should have stuck with her. She’s selling this epic romance to your grandmother and anyone who will listen. And she seems to be still committed to your deal.”
“Paige, please, let’s go and I’ll explain everything.” He tries to grab hold of my hand but I pull away, my back now against the brick wall.
“Your whole life is fake. CEO of a company where you don’t call the shots. A secret business venture you can’t even bring out into the open. A fiancée you don’t love, and don’t intend to stay married to.” The truth cuts deep and wide, unraveling my worst fears—all of this is truly fake.
I attempt to push past him, my hands flat against his solid chest. “And what for? Money? I hope it’s worth it.”
“You’re one to talk.” He tips his head close to mine, his tone low and harsh. “Your life isn’t much truer, now is it?”
“That’s all you’ve got? Great way to deflect.
I’m not doing this with you.” My chest is tight, as if it’s collapsing inward as our lies clog my throat.
Tears sting my eyes and I try again to get past him, but he holds me tight.
Not hard or rough, almost as if in an embrace, backing me against the wall and cradling my head.
Zach is everywhere.
His body weight and heat are both comforting and frustrating. It feels as if an anchor is resting on my chest and my fingers dig into his shirt, nails sinking into his flesh. He sucks in his teeth but doesn’t budge.
“Listen to me,” he growls, commanding, and I feel both incensed to fight him off, and defeated, no strength to get away.
“Zachary. Zachary,” Nan says, her voice getting louder and louder from behind the door and he stills, glancing over his shoulder.
The door opens and she asks, “Have you seen…is that Paige?”
She strains her neck to see over him and he twists an inch or two to get a better look at her. Taking the chance, I wrench myself free and step out to face Nan. My smile is reluctant and apologetic. What must she think?
“Nan, I’m so sorry.”
“You’ve nothing to be sorry for. Are you all right, dear?” Her watchful gaze almost burns and upon impulse, I brush at the corner of my eyes despite never having shed a single tear.
“I’m fine. There’s still so much to do but I’ll…” My voice cracks, hating what I am going to suggest because it isn’t what I want. “I’ll leave. Alice can step in. She’s at the lot but I can call her and have her come back. I’ll need to take her through what I was to do tomorrow.”
“What?” Zach stands behind me, the heat of him against my back.
“You’re not going anywhere. Reagan left.” She takes my hands, squeezing gently. “Why don’t you take a minute and then join us. Everyone is back to work and this changes nothing.”
“But she said…”
“I know what she said and don’t listen to her. We can talk about it later but like you said, there’s so much still to do and if we let this drama derail us, we’ll never get it all done, now will we?”
I nod and her cool fingers lightly graze my arm when I brush past her. I can’t look at her. If I do, I’ll break down and cry, confess our sins. Tell her about all our lies and, perhaps, even admit I wished that our engagement was real. Glancing down, I briefly examine the ring.
“Tell me, what the hell is going on?” Zach’s question rumbles deep and low in the small space.
Turning to face him, I take off the ring and hold it out to him.
“No.” His icy blue eyes chill.
“Paige, darling.” Nan steps closer. “Don’t be silly. Reagan…”
“Reagan?” Zach cuts in, still fisting his hands at his side.
I set the ring on a table and leave. He growls my name trying to reach for me, but I am quick. I dart around Nan and only stop once at the door.
With my back to them, I say, heartbroken, “I understand if it’s best that I don’t come tomorrow but I want you both to know I’ll make sure we’re in great shape by the end of today. No matter what happened, it doesn’t change how much I want tomorrow to be a success.”
I slip out of the room and they both call after me.
How I thought I could pull this off without getting hurt or hurting anyone else I have no idea.