Chapter Thirty Nine （Kendall）
I did not think it was possible for a single woman to cause a man to go through a complexity of emotions within a few hours. No woman should have such a gripping effect and still have the ability to walk away with ease. Yet, Snowflake was quick to prove my theory incorrect today.
Waking up to her was even more delightful than I had imagined it would be. I experienced it more than once, yet the scene did not lose its enchantment. I only became fonder of her each time.
I would wake to her velvety soft skin that was pressed closely to my own body. Wisps of her dark curls would find their way to my face over time; however, I did not mind. They gave me an excuse to touch her. I would carefully tuck them behind her ear before my fingers would graze her shoulder.
Each time, I was met with the same result.
She would shiver and draw herself closer to me, subconsciously.
The simple gesture would cause me to feel protective of her as if she were dependent on me.
I was fully aware that when she was awake, she was quite the opposite.
I still enjoyed each moment, although I would never be able to truly share them with her since she was not awake.
When she finally awoke, her heavy-lidded eyes would drift towards me. They conveyed innocence for those few seconds, oblivious to the world around us. She would then give me a tired smile, one I never took for granted, before I returned it with a light kiss.
I would attempt to further wake her by rubbing her shoulder and whispering to her. Once, it had done the opposite of its intended effect and soothed her back to sleep. However, today was successful, and she was soon attempting to coax me into giving her several more kisses.
Later, we were quiet. My eyes were closed as her fingers trailed my tattoo like small temptresses. I did not allow her to see the effect she had on me but instead kept my eyes closed.
I had suddenly smiled as I was reminded of her true name and a quote I had once heard. She was the flower for me; without, the room appeared void of life. But even a hint of her could provide the promise of it.
She was quick to produce the rest of the quote when I began reciting it to her. I was pleasantly surprised by her knowledge of it until she told me the mutt was fond of using quotes on her.
My attempt at complimenting her was useless, in my own eyes. I did not want her to find similarities between the mutt and myself. I wanted her to realize that I would try how however long it was necessary for her to feel comfortable with the idea of settling down with me.
She did not seem to understand why I did not like her mentioning the mutt around me. I would have attempted to explain it to her if I did not think it would annoy or anger her. So I instead kept silent about the subject.
However, it was when I told her the reason for my banning the use of guard dogs on my lands that I began to realize not all was as it was supposed to be.
I expected joy or something along the lines of it when I told her she was the reason. Her shutting me out was not a reaction I had predicted, but it was what she proceeded to do before exiting my room.
I thought perhaps it was something I had said or did. Perhaps I had not realized my mistake, as I had not many times before. However, the more I entertained the idea, the more I realized it was not the true answer.
It was not I that troubled her, but something else. The same strange behavior has occurred when she was found after the escape of the wolves. I had not realized until now that the two were most likely connected in some way.
I was determined to find out what was bothering her without involving her in it. I knew my Snowflake would only proceed to snap at me if I pressed her for information. So for now, I would sit back and watch.
"Kendall, are you even listening to us?"
I was returned to the present by Lex, who was still grinning idiotically. He was sitting in one of the few chairs the room possessed, Raelynn frowning from his lap. She was probably upset by my lack of attention.
"No, I was not," I confessed. Raelynn rolled her eyes, but the grin on Lex's face remained stable. I supposed his reasoning for being so happy was valid.
"I just asked you to be my best man! You could at least pretend to be a little happier for your two best friends," he replied, and I finally gave him a smile.
Lex had proposed last night to Raelynn in the privacy of their home. He had done so for fear of rejection, which I knew was pointless. Raelynn loved him dearly and had been ready to settle down for quite some time. She was quick to say yes, easing her new fiancé's fears.
"Why would I not be overjoyed that you two are marrying one another? Of course, I will be the best man," I said, and Lex's eyes lit up while Raelynn suddenly wore a smug look.
"Lex told me about you and a certain white-coated wolf. I was only interested when he told me about the love bites he spotted on your neck," she said teasingly, causing me to give a pointed glare in Lex's direction.
"How did we go from discussing your wedding plans to reviewing my personal life, which I can certainly assure does not involve either of you," I replied with ease.
Unfortunately, they were not fazed. "You do realize werewolves, both male and female, mark what they believe is theirs, right? One moment. you think she's leaving a love bite, but it turns out to be a permanent mark," Raelynn said and Lex jumped in.
"It's their way of taking a mate or whatever. We spend thousands of dollars on an expensive rock and they spend nothing on a mark," Lex explained, holding up Raelynn's hand to display the "rock" he had spent more than I desired to know on.
"I was aware of the werewolf culture before. I do not need another lesson from you two love birds," I replied, yet I was now returning their smiles. I was truly happy that they were able to find lasting love in one another.
They were very content with each other, which was evident by the loose, yet protective arm Lex had placed around Raelynn, who was leaned back against him with trust. They made it clear they were one another's, yet I did not feel uncomfortable by their displays.
I did not think Lex realized it, but when Raelynn was not around, he held himself a little more stiffly. Others did not see it, but he would suddenly become relaxed when his eyes found her once again. It was as if he was worried for her and did not stop until she was by his side.
Raelynn was the same way. Without Lex, a part of her vanished. She did not laugh as frequently and when she did smile, it appeared less genuine than the way she lit up when she spotted him.
Currently, they had slowly moved into the world they had created only to enjoy together with one another. Their heads were leaned together, foreheads gently touching. Lex's arms were wrapped around her while Raelynn's hand rested on his jaw, stroking it absentmindedly.
Lex would say something, causing little fits of laughter to erupt from Raelynn. Lex would smile in return before smothering her in kisses and setting off another round of laughter. Without one another, they were no longer whole.
At that exact moment, I realized Snowflake, for me, was the equivalent of Raelynn to Lex.
Without her, the days were one in the same, each dragging on longer than the one before.
My life had held a single meaning, which was to rule my lands as efficiently and smoothly as possible.
During meetings, my spine remained in a single, unbending position, and I less than seldom changed agreements to give my clients what they wanted.
Before her, my satisfaction was all I required.
With Snowflake in my life, each day was its own. She made that possible simply by being herself. I awoke to a new adventure each time and found myself enjoying them more than not, whether large or small.
Now, attempting to please her was another daily goal of mine. It was difficult, but when she finally produced a smile or laughed, it proved the effort worthy. She was the reason for my own, absent-minded smile. She was the reason I was beginning to grow soft.
I was changing agreements more often than before to accommodate my clients. I was allowing them to have their own say and input, as long as I still had profit. I was becoming less and less known as "icy," and found myself slouching on occasion, which had never happened before.
My satisfaction was not all I required now: hers was. I found myself becoming satisfied by her own joy and satisfaction. Seeing her happy was all I truly needed.
"Excuse me," I said abruptly, turning to leave. They both called for me, but I did not answer either of them. I had something of more importance to do.
I found myself leaving the room to search the halls for her. I needed her to realize the importance of her value in my life, now. If I did not tell her now, I felt I may never tell her.
I probably appeared as a mad man, pacing all the halls in search for one woman. I asked around only to find out she had last been seen with the mutt, destroying my mood.
She spent too much time with someone who had once been her lover. He clearly still desired her and did not bother to veil it. She did not return it, but she gave him her affection that he deserved none of.
I was entering my office to have the guards deliver her to me but halted in my steps by the sight spread out in front of me. It was one I was not likely to forget.
Her dark curls were twisted to one side, stopping just above her chest. She was wearing a black dress that was short-sleeved and showed off her smooth legs. She had settled herself in my chair, her legs crossed and propped on my desk. Never had my office looked as desirable as it did now.
"Are you going to throw another hissy fit?" She snapped, and I was reminded of the last time I had talked to her.
I walked over to the desk, ignoring her question. I stopped in front of her, my eyes on her sharp ones. "Stand up," I began and watched her eyes flicker into slits.
"I'm not-"
"I did not tell you to speak, only to stand," I said, and a smirk grew as her eyes filled with mischief.
"Alright, Kendall. I'll play along," she replied, and I found myself staring as she slowly moved her legs to the floor one by one and stood up.
My hand slid around her waist, and she gave me her weakening smile as I pulled her closer. My other dipped on her shoulder and trailed her neck before resting on the soft skin of her cheek.
"You are my Raelynn," I said softly, watching as confusion etched itself into her features. She opened her mouth to speak, but I quickly pressed my own against hers in a successful attempt to quiet her.
"Listen to me before I forget my explanation," I tried and she nodded cautiously.
"Love, you are my version of Raelynn. It is to you I desire to wake up to, not a cold bed. It is you who keeps me going day after day, hopeful that I will spend a moment with you. You are the sole reason for my happiness as without you, I would not know the true definition of joy," I started.
By now, her eyes were filled with tears, a few betraying her and spilling out. I gently brushed them away before kissing the salty tears off of her. Her reaction worried me, but I would not stop now.
"Happiness is knowing I caused those beautiful lips of yours to smile.
It is seeing you finding delight like a child in desserts.
It is feeling you turn soft under a simple touch from me.
It is being able to call you my love and meaning it.
It is knowing you have not left me, despite my many flaws.
It is knowing you are still here by my side, after everything we have been through.
It is knowing I can trust you and that you will be by my side in the future. "
Her tears were flowing more freely, illuminating her emerald eyes. Even when crying, she was still breathtaking to me. I did not think she would ever fail at taking my breath away. It was something I looked forwards to in our future together.
"Kendall-" she started, but I shushed her. I was not quite finished yet.
"I am not done yet, love," I said. She tried interrupting me once again, but I quickly spoke before she could.
"I am in love with you, Amaryllis. I realized it seeing Lex and Raelynn's happiness, and I realized that was what I wanted. I want the same happiness with you and only you. I want to be able to show you off and claim you in front of others, allowing them to be jealous of our chemistry.
I want to be able to call you Mrs. Gordon later down the line and see you carrying our children. I want to grow old with you and see your hair change colors. You, my Snowflake, are the sole reason for my happiness, and I am deeply in love with you."
She was now sobbing, no longer able to control herself. I pulled her closer, attempting to calm her by whispering to her. The closer I paid attention to her, the more I realized she was saying something. I leaned in to catch her words and regretted the action just as quickly.