Bless
BLESS
The next day, I sat on the edge of NaNa’s bathtub, nervously tapping my foot against the tiled floor, staring at the pregnancy test in my hand. My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for the results to pop up on the tiny digital screen. Sky stood beside me, filled with as much anticipation as I was. Outside of the window, I could hear the kids splashing around in NaNa's backyard. NaNa was out there with them, keeping an eye as they played in the inflatable pool.
"Why is it taking so long?" I growled.
Sky glanced at her phone. "Any second now.”
I blew out a heavy, anxious breath just as the digital test results finally popped up.
I gasped, my heart sinking into my stomach.
Pregnant .
“I can’t believe it,” I muttered, staring at the word on the screen. “I took the morning after pill. We’ve been so careful since then.”
Sky wrapped an arm around my shoulders, squeezing gently. "The morning after pill isn’t a hundred-percent guarantee."
I shook my head, tears welling up in my eyes. “This can’t be happening. I have three kids. Legacy and I don’t want more kids. Everything is going perfectly, and now this.”
Sky knelt down in front of me, looking into my eyes. “Hey, it’s going to be okay.”
“How? Legacy loves his kids even when they are nothing but specks of blood. He’s not going to want me to terminate this pregnancy.”
“I know it’s unexpected, but think about it. Legacy’s business is thriving. He’s getting a bag. You don’t even have to work, and he can afford to get you some help like a nanny. This doesn’t have to be the burden that you think it will be. And think about it this way, this is your opportunity to redo your last pregnancy, to be happy this time and not be burdened by secrets and heartbreak.” She smiled with a hint of excitement in her eyes. “ Aaaand we’ll be pregnant at the same time. We can go through this together.”
Despite myself, I managed a small smile. “You’re right.”
Sky stood up, pulling me into a hug. “See? Exactly .”
I hugged her back, feeling a bit of the pressure lift off my shoulders.
As we pulled apart, Sky gave me a reassuring look. “It’s going to be okay. C’mon. Let’s go back outside with the kids. I know NaNa is baking out in that sun.”
“Damn. I was going to make me a drink before we went back out there!”
Sky hollered a laugh. “Yes! You get to be sober with me too.”
I groaned as we left the bathroom.
As Sky and I left the bathroom, we nearly collided with Pam in the hallway. She was doing a little dance, legs tightly crossed, clearly desperate to pee. Her eyes were glassy, and the familiar scent of alcohol clung to her. Pam had been locked in her room since we arrived. I assumed she was in there getting lit watching her stories.
"I told you, Sky! I told you, you were going to get pregnant!” she slurred, a grin spreading across her face as she pointed at Sky. “I was right!" She swayed slightly, her eyes wide with excitement. "I’m psychic!"
Sky rolled her eyes, overly expressing her irritation. “Oh God."
Pam ignored her, continuing to babble. "I told you! I knew it!"
I sighed, trying to keep my composure. “Pam, please. Can you just let us get by?”
Pam frowned. “It’s not by that weird nigga, JayShawn, is it?” She giggled, finally stepping aside. “It’s by that nigga. I know it. I don’t need you to tell me! I have the gift.”
As the evening settled and the kids were finally tucked into bed, nerves and excitement bubbled inside me. Sky was right. This was my opportunity to fully embrace and enjoy a pregnancy without the feelings of shame, heartbreak, or secrets. I hadn’t been able to enjoy my pregnancies. I was so young when I got pregnant with Eden and Zara that those pregnancies were surrounded by a lot of shame and guilt as well. Now that Legacy and I were grown and he was doing so well financially, we could truly enjoy and relish in this pregnancy.
Leaving our bedroom, I nervously searched the open space for Legacy. I found him in the living room sitting on the couch, engrossed in some work on his laptop. He looked up as I entered, and his face lit up with a warm smile. “All mine,” he finessed deeply with narrowed eyes filled with lust. “Hey, beautiful.”
“Hey,” I purred as he closed the laptop.
“Everything okay?”
I nodded, my heart pounding in my throat. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I just... I have something to tell you.”
He raised an eyebrow, curiosity clearly on alert. “What’s up?”
I walked over to him. My hands were trembling. “Close your eyes,” I instructed softly.
He looked at me skeptically but complied with a playful smile on his lips. “All right, what’s this about?”
I took a small box from my pocket, the one I’d carefully prepared earlier, and placed it in his hands. “Open your eyes.”
He opened them, looking down at the box. Slowly, he lifted the lid, revealing a tiny pair of baby shoes. His eyes widened in surprise and then darted up to meet mine. “, are you...?”
I nodded, tears brimming in my eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
For a moment, his expression was unreadable. I held my breath, waiting for his reaction. Then, to my surprise, his face broke into a broad grin. He stood up, wrapping his arms around me and lifting me off the floor in a tight embrace.
", that's amazing. I’m so happy." His voice was thick with emotion, and I could feel the genuine excitement radiating from him.
"I was scared you wouldn't be," I admitted, my voice cracking as he lowered me to the floor. “Neither of us wanted more kids.” I blinked back tears. "I was worried about your reaction, especially after everything we’ve been through."
He pulled back slightly, looking deeply into my eyes. He shook his head, his gaze never leaving mine. ", I love you more than anything. You’ve been my rock, my partner, my everything. And now we’re having another baby together. I could never be mad at that."
Hearing those words, relief and joy consumed me. "I want to enjoy this pregnancy," I insisted. "No more guilt or shame. I want to fully immerse myself in it this time."
He nodded with those cognac eyes filled with determined love. "Absolutely. We’re going to make this the best experience. I promise you that. I got you, bae."
I leaned in, kissing him deeply, feeling the connection between us strengthen even more. "I love you, Legacy."
"I love you too, . You’re a dream that I don’t have to close my eyes to see. I’m so honored that you are the mother of my kids and I am going to show my appreciation by being the man you couldn’t even imagine in your dreams. We’re going to do this right this time. We’re going to do us right this time."
In that moment, I knew everything was going to be okay. We had come so far, and our love had brought us back together. I nestled into his arms, feeling his love and support devour me. We were ready for this next chapter, and I couldn’t wait to see what the future held for us.